# Your children are people! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981 "2003-05-23T06:07:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Model-Shipwright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@Model-Shipwright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Model-Shipwright)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/141 "2003-05-24T20:26:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Totally unrelated to the subject at hand, but I thought I’d share my “success story” here. I was exactly like your son in this regard; I’d waste entire days rather than clean up. One day my mother gave me an eggtimer, set it to an hour and told me to see if I could be done by the time it rang. Of course, I was. I used that eggtimer by myself every time I had to clean my room in the future. Congratulations, you’re a fucking moron. > [@](#): > > Smacking a kid instead of teaching him/her that they are hurting the cat is just off the scale stupidity. Now you have a kid who doesn’t know why pulling on the cat is wrong, but who is full of resentment over the cat being the cause of the kid getting hurt. That cat better watch out when you aren’t around. Congratulations, you are more of a fucking moron than Price Guy, and dare I say it, a 2 year-old toddler. > [@](#): > > Still even in a best case scenario the smacking simply does no damage. There is no evidence at all that spanking is superior to non-violent forms of discipline, and it’s frequently inferior. Well, since I already KNEW you were a fucking moron, this is just further making my point. Most of everything that has come from you in this thread, HELL, this whole discussion board, is absolute stupidity at its finest. Congratulations, you’re still a fucking moron. Crazy Cat Lady and Ratty are but a couple of rare and beautiful fulfilled hopes that I have in humanity. BRAVO! There is a reason that I come in here to read posts after my physics classes. Because once you’ve been forced to choke down the foul-tasting tequila shot of your own abject ignorance, it’s refreshing to bite into the refreshing lime wedge of other people’s complete fucking stupidity. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to beat my children. No reason, this thread just put me in the mood… ---
**Author:** ![g8rguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@g8rguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/g8rguy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/142 "2003-05-24T23:07:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\ ***g8rguy** , what the hell are you talking about. If you’re really a scientist then you know that anecdotes from spankers have no probative value into a question like this. No abuser ever _admits_they’re an abuser. Their “testimony,” as it were, is totally unreliable and statistically worthless. \*\* Oh, for the love of fuck, this should be trivially obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together. I’ll expand. [ol] [li]Indeed, not everyone who spanks their children believes that they are an abuser. You knew that, of course, since people in this thread have admitted to spanking their children without admitting to being child abusers. Therefore, you’ll get anecdotes from people who do discipline their children physically.[/li][li]An anecdote, of course, proves nothing.[/li][li]10,000 anecdotes, of course, proves nothing.[/li][li]This should hardly be surprising, since nothing is ever proven in science.[/li][li]A sufficiency of anecdotes is obviously evidence nonetheless.[/li][li]Naturally, you cannot guarantee that people have been truthful when telling stories. [/li][li]However, for exactly the same reason, you cannot guarantee that people have been truthful when publishing the results of their work.[/li][li]In both cases, you must judge reliability for yourself. In such a way is error and bias introduced into science. Science, of course, is hardly free of error and bias.[/li][li]I presume that you did not carry out any of these studies yourself.[/li][li]Therefore, you rely upon anecdote to support your point (“I read a study that says…”),[/li][li]For us to believe that you are correct is for us to rely on your truthfulness and lack of bias. Foaming at the mouth is not a decent way of convincing us of the latter, to say the least.[/li][/ol] I’ll grant that anecdotes have _less_ value as evidence, but the fact remains that they do have _some_ value. And more importantly, because there are far more experiments out there than any one scientist can hope to do, we all have to rely on anecdotes from our colleagues. That’s just the way it works, and that’s the way it’s worked for centuries. Anyone who thinks differently is either ignorant or idiotic. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/143 "2003-05-25T02:42:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by norinew \* > \*\*I just don’t think that the question is as simple as “to spank or not to spank?” My hubby and my best friend were both spanked (responsibly) while growing up, and are both fine, morally upright people. I, on the other hand, was never hit. But I was emotionally abused for many years, and as a result, am currently in therapy. > \*\* Right. With my mom, spanking was not the problem. The spankings were justified, and the force was not excessive. The problem was the way she would strut around afterwards, like she’d beaten someone bigger than herself in a fight, and brag to her friends/my sister/my aunt about how she’d sure shown me who was boss. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/144 "2003-05-25T04:35:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\* > > Every empirical study that’s been done on spanking shows that it has no discernable benefit but has a great potential for harm. Kids who are spanked do lower on IQ tests (repeated spanking engages the fight or flight response rather than enhancing cognitive skills), have a much greater chance of becoming violent adults and they don’t learn right from wrong, they just learn not to get caught. Spanking is an artificial consequence not a natural one. Spanking a kid doesn’t teach them _why_ what they did was wrong, it just teaches them not to get caught at it. > > Some pro-spanking studies (as opposed to every study which is not biased towards acheiving a certain result) do show that spanking seems effective in the short-term. It will get the behavior that you want, but in the long term, non-spanking alternatives are better. > \*\* It’s really a matter of **how** you spank. Spanking on-the-spot because your kid ran out into traffic is, as you say, effective in the short term. What’s **destructive** in the **long** term is the kind of scenario where mom says “Wait till your father comes home”, and when he does, the child has to walk, trembling, into the room where stonefaced dad is waiting, and dad hauls the much smaller kid up to put him over his knee, then lets fly with his hand/the belt/the razor strop/whatever. It’s making a ritual out of it that teaches the kid to dread and fear, and eventually resent, authority. There have been, and probably still are, households where whippings were a scheduled event, regardless of what the child(ren) had actually done that day/week, with the number of strokes proportionate to what they’d been caught at. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/145 "2003-05-25T10:19:44Z")
**Model-Shipwright** , one question: were you born pathetic, did you wake up one morning pathetic, or was it a slow gradual process? I’m happy you won’t be staying long. People like you never do. ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/146 "2003-05-25T12:33:58Z")
My, my. Snitty aren’t we? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/147 "2003-05-25T15:16:02Z")
We got whuppins in our household. And let me just say this: some of my worse memories from childhood come from those “punishments”. Anecdote 1: I got **you with the face** in trouble one afternoon by stealing one of her Doritos (we were eating Doritos and beans for dinner…talk about _child abuse_). She screamed like a banshee. Daddy comes running down the stairs like a 250-pound boulder, his eyes bugging out of his head, and a strange grin on his face. Silly me, I almost thought he was amused. I still relive the moment in slow motion. He must have slapped my sister a dozen times, splattering blood from her nose all over the place. My punishment? I had to clean up the mess on the floor–blood mixed with beans and Doritos that had spilled on the floor–while my sister bawled upstairs. Anecdote 2: My mother told **you with the face** and I that we had to clean up our bedroom. Always eager to please, I got right to work. But my sister–bless her heart–was dilly-dallying. Mommy threatened to beat her with the Black Snake of Calcutta (what we called the Belt in our house) if she didn’t pick up the pace. Fast forward ten minutes later. **You with the face** and the Black Snake were going toe-to-toe while I crouched in the closet, glad I had been such a good little girl. Am I against spanking kids? No. I agree with every instance that’s been given in this thread supporting the efficacy of spanking. But would I spank my own children? Well, if they were as well-behaved as my sister and I was, no. We were threatened with whuppins more than we were actually whupped, but the fear was always there. And it wasn’t a good fear. Even if my kids were hellions, I’d still be mighty apprehensive just because I would be afraid of losing control. I blame the Dorito Slap[sup]TM[/sup] for my ambivalence. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/148 "2003-05-25T23:57:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\* > > No, I’m not saying every instance of slapping a hand or a butt is abusive. I’m saying it’s not _necessary_ and that it _can_ have negative consequences. I do think that hitting with a belt or any object which can leave a mark is abusive. \*\* Really. Well this next quote from you says otherwise… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* \*\* > IF you’re really a scientist then you’ll know that ancedotes from spankers have no probative value in a question like this. No abuser ever _admits_ they’re an abuser. \*\* So which is it **Dio**? Are all spankers abusers or not? If no ancedotal studies mean anything because no abusers will admit they’re abusers, that means that all spankers are abusers, right? :wally ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/149 "2003-05-26T02:34:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Model-Shipwright \* > \*\*Congratulations, you’re a fucking moron. > \*\* 😕 This would be your entry for the “most egregious misreading of a post in this thread” competition, right?? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/150 "2003-05-26T03:01:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\*Really. Well this next quote from you says otherwise… > > So which is it **Dio**? Are all spankers abusers or not? If no ancedotal studies mean anything because no abusers will admit they’re abusers, that means that all spankers are abusers, right? > > :wally \*\* There’s no contradicion in what I said. I didn’t say all spankers were abusers, I said that not all abusers would admit to it. IOW, a telephone poll asking spankers about spanking will not elicit truthful information from \* spankers who are also abusers\*. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/151 "2003-05-26T05:08:25Z")
by **monstro** > [@](#): > > Anecdote 1: I got **you with the face** in trouble one afternoon by stealing one of her Doritos (we were eating Doritos and beans for dinner…talk about child abuse). She screamed like a banshee. Daddy comes running down the stairs like a 250-pound boulder, his eyes bugging out of his head, and a strange grin on his face. Silly me, I almost thought he was amused. > > I still relive the moment in slow motion. He must have slapped my sister a dozen times, splattering blood from her nose all over the place. My punishment? I had to clean up the mess on the floor–blood mixed with beans and Doritos that had spilled on the floor–while my sister bawled upstairs. The victim in this here story speaks up… The Dorito Slap was definitely a case of “When Spanking Goes Wrong” (AKA “When Dads Attack”). Now, I can tell this anedote to friends and laugh about it. I recovered from the incident many moons ago. My father, on the other hand, carries a lot of guilt over his lapse of control that day and will probably have it until the day he dies. He apologized to me a while back and of course, I accepted it. That day was probably the last time he ever hit me. The take home message is that while there is definitely a line between spanking and abuse, that line is still a fine one. Spankers need to know that and tread accordingly. My dad didn’t realize how far he could take things until his head had cooled down sufficiently enough to see the carnage wrought by his anger. That’s too late, in my book. > [@](#): > > Am I against spanking kids? No. I agree with every instance that’s been given in this thread supporting the efficacy of spanking. But would I spank my own children? Well, if they were as well-behaved as my sister and I was, no. I agree with what **monstro** says here. We were generally very well-behaved kids, and a stern look was probably all it took to make us fly right. Too many parents don’t use spanking as a last resort; they just assume that it should be used because it’s the “toughest”. But just like doctors shouldn’t automatically reach for the vancomycin for a case of the sniffles, parents shouldn’t automatically reach for the switch. What works for one kid may be too harsh or too mild for another. ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/152 "2003-05-26T11:10:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MLS \* > \*\*Many things that look good in theory do not work in practice. > Sometimes fear is needed. Because I am afraid of being killed or injured in an auto accident. Because of that I don’t tailgate or otherwise drive aggressively, and so on. Because I am afraid of dying in a fire, I make sure the smoke detectors in my house work. I am very afraid of strange snarling dogs. I stay away from them. Anyone who is not afraid of anything is going to have either a very short or a very lucky life; let’s not leave our children to the latter option. > > In an ideal world, you would explain about how cars can squash you flat, and fire can mutilate your hands, and the two-year-old would listen and remember and follow your advice. In reality, two-year-olds are mostly programmed into a stage called individuation, wherein they mostly test out EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAY to see if it’s really true and if you really mean it. For very important things, you sometimes have to back it up with a punishment. When really quick results are necessary, sometimes you have to make an instantaneous and memorable one. > > elfje, I don’t know how old you are or how many children you’ve raised. If the answer to the second question is zero, good luck, and check back when your children are 19. I don’t doubt your sincerity or good intentions, but some things are easier said than done. \*\* I am 27, and no, I do not have any kids, nor do I want them. the 4 main reasons why would be: 1. do not want to have such a big responsability 2. do not want to make the sacrifices required 3. do not want to spend the money 4. do not want to do the time (as you say, 20 years or thereabouts). My main reason, as you can see, is the responsability. I think the responsability is too big, I literally do not want to be responsible for another human being. So many things can go wrong, it requires so much energy and patience. So i’m not willing to take the chance 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/153 "2003-05-26T11:22:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrazyCatLady \* > \*\*So, is anyone going to take me up on my question? Anybody? > > What _would_ you guys have done with a kid like me, who’d been warned repeatedly, was _deliberately_ doing something wrong, and under the age of 8? Most of the methods suggested wouldn’t have phased me a bit. And don’t give me any of that vague “think outside the box” “find a creative punishment” stuff either, I’d like to hear concrete suggestions. > > Grounding is useless, as are revoking allowance or television priveleges and assigning extra chores. Take away my books? Well, then I’ll just sit and daydream like I do a lot of the time anyway. What then, confiscate my brain? \*\* well, first of all, i’d try and find out _why_ you were doing what you are doing. As a child i always found it infuriating that adults don’t talk to you (as in, reason with you), and if they do, they do so in a patronising way (ie, literally treating you as mentally imparied cos you’re not their age…). My niece is misbehaving, sometimes, especially when she’s with her mother. The _reason why_ is because her mother left her in the care of her dad for 2 weeks when she was only 2. They’ve split up since then, and whenever Luna is with her mom, she misbehaves so that her mother’s attention will be constantly focused on her. She does not want to share her mother with anyone (when I was visiting once, she kept interrupting our conversation, she did not want her mother to spend time talking to me.). The fact that her mother has a huge guilt complex about having so little time to spend with her daughter, means she always gives in to her daughter’s requests and behaviour. Which is teaching the child the wrong lesson. So understaning why a child is behaving a certain way, goes a long way to help determine a punishment, if indeed a punishment is needed (in Luna’s case, her mother needs to make her daughter her number 1 priority in her life, and apply more discipline. We (the family) have tried to tell her, but she does not want to listen. And so the child remains unhappy…) ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/154 "2003-05-26T14:14:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kambuckta \* > \*\*…a New Age Dad walked past with his little girl. Little girl (age somewhere between 2 and 2 1/2 years) spied the Kiddie Ride and decided that she wanted to have a go. She pounded on her daddy’s shoulders to let her down, and pointed at the ride, whereupon NAD explained that they were in a hurry and it would have to wait until another time. > > Well, the kid put on a Sight and Sound performance to behold. NAD was ever-so-patient, and finally got her to their car where a NEW performance unfolded as he tried to strap her into her baby-seat. Of course, she was not going to have a bar of it, so continued screaming and writhing and from my vantage point, I could hear the NAD _STILL_ trying to explain why the kid could not have a ride tonight, but if she would _please_ allow him to strap her in, she could have an icecream. Oh…this is now 20 minutes since she first pointed at the ride btw. > > \*\* The irony… ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/155 "2003-05-26T15:04:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfje \* > \*\*I am 27, and no, I do not have any kids, nor do I want them. > the 4 main reasons why would be: > > 1. do not want to have such a big responsability > 2. do not want to make the sacrifices required > 3. do not want to spend the money > 4. do not want to do the time (as you say, 20 years or thereabouts). > > My main reason, as you can see, is the responsability. I think the responsability is too big, I literally do not want to be responsible for another human being. So many things can go wrong, it requires so much energy and patience. > So i’m not willing to take the chance > > 🙂 \*\* Since parenthood is aparently something that you not only are not doing but are _agressively avoiding_, it might be prudent to keep from forcibly inserting your uninformed opinion into a subject that you have just admitted that you are completely unwilling to even attempt to handle. ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/156 "2003-05-26T15:16:05Z")
how can you avoid something aggressively? I see myself as taking my responsability for NOT burdening society with kids I don’t want myself. And the subject was how kids should be treated. You’re saying because I don’t want kids and don’t have them, I shouldn’t have an opinion about it? Now that’s silly. I have been a child, and from that i have learned a lot on how **not** to raise a kid. It’s like saying that men shouldn’t have an opinion on abortion because they don’t have a uterus. And forcibly inserting an uninformed opinion? My opinion isn’t uninformed, I have minded kids a good deal, and as I stated, I’ve two nieces whom I see/mind frequently. If you’ve read my post carefully, than the reasons why I don’t want to have kids is because i’m afraid I’ll do them wrong, knowing that I don’t want to make the sacrifices required and don’t want the responsability _because_ there’s so much that can go wrong with raising a child. Like smakcing it because you lose your patience. I just don’t want to risk doing to someone what has been done to me. In the slightest way. I’d say that gives me enough authority to have an opinion on this matter. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/157 "2003-05-26T15:35:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfje \* > \*\*Now that’s silly. I have been a child, and from that i have learned a lot on how **not** to raise a kid. > > \*\* Perhaps, but you have no clue on how to raise a kid. This isn’t personal, nobody does until they actually have one. It’s easy to say that children shouldn’t be beaten, nobody supports that, but it’s impossible to determine that a quick swat to the butt might be the best thing to do in a specific situation until you’re in that situation, day in, day out, 24 hours straight, day after day, of living with and raising a child. “Minding” your nieces isn’t even close to the same thing, it can’t be. ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/158 "2003-05-26T15:53:24Z")
no, I agree, the responsability factor is not the same (after all, there not mine), and I wouldn’t feel the attachment to them as their parents should, but I’m sticking to my original opinion: It’s not because I don’t want them and don’t have them, that i can’t have any opinions on how the best way is to raise them. As I stated in one of my earlier posts, I think even a quick swat to the butt does more bad than good. It _is_ possible to raise a child without disciplining with muscle language. I would never hit anyone, unless in self defense. I would never hurt or hit or smack animals, either. So let’s just agree to disagree, shall we? ---
**Author:** ![Skid\_Row](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@Skid\_Row](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skid_Row)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/159 "2003-05-27T00:01:48Z")
After a VERY much needed long weekend ( **God bless those who died defending my freedom!** ), I returned to read these posts. Whoa… Amazing how _ **vehemently** _ some people will defend their _right_ to beat their kids. Sad, really. For the record, our daughter is 3 and our son is 6. Never struck - ever - by anyone. Not that they are as pure as the wind driven snow, but they don’t cause problems and are very well-behaved. (_Whoever the booze-bag was that posted that I shouldn’t reproduce, blah, blah blah, kindly go shove a biblical rod up your rectum - and don’t spare an inch!_) This might help (I’ll make it quick): I was “_spanked_” as a child. Daily. For talking back, not cleaning my room, making too much noise, et. al. The last of these took place when I was 13, almost 14. For not having my hair cut short enough. Seriously. At 5’10" and around 200 lbs, I knew that these “_spankings_” were just wrong. In a nutshell, after the dust settled, my dad had a broken mandible and a broken left orbital and my mom lost a tooth and a bit of pride. I know some of you will respond that my folks should’ve called the police. They didn’t. They were the criminals and they knew it. I was a victim. Get over it. They never, **never** **EVER** hit me again. Nor did they mention _that day_. Ever. We got along pretty well after that until they died in 2000 and 2002. They never apologized. I had nothing to apologize for. Wonder where I learned that hitting was the way to achieve a means to an end? If you beat your kids - you are a criminal. Deny it all you want. Doesn’t change the facts. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981/160 "2003-05-27T00:39:30Z")
**Skid Row** , as has been pointed out time and time again, no one is advocating the kind of physical discipline you lived through. As a matter of fact, if I recall correctly, several people have actually spoken up and stated the obvious, that being "NO ONE HERE THINKS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR KIDS IS A GOOD IDEA. It has also been noted - several times - that the people in this thread who DO spank use it only as a last resort, when other encouragements have failed. I mean, sorry your life sucked shit and everything, but that kind of household is not what we’re talking about. Also, I don’t think many people think the police should have been called. I sure don’t. Your parents punished you in a really extreme way for minor infractions, and I’m sure, had I been there when you finally socked it to 'em, I would have applauded. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-children-are-people/176981.md?page=9)