# YOUR COCK SO BIG IT SCARES PEOPLE! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 30, 2001, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609 "2001-09-30T07:11:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/61 "2001-10-02T20:39:44Z")
My dick is so big it requires its own moderator. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/62 "2001-10-02T23:04:34Z")
My dick was the inspiration for “Stairway To Heaven.” I have since added an elevator to it. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/63 "2001-10-02T23:05:11Z")
My dick was the original inspiration for “Stairway To Heaven.” I have since added an elevator to it. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/64 "2001-10-02T23:08:01Z")
…and evidently, he is not happy if I tell that story just once. :o ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/65 "2001-10-02T23:53:09Z")
Gunslinger’s dick is so big, Florida gets jealous. He _has_ to live in Texas. It is the dawn of time. This earth we know so well is a smoldering, inhospitable place. No plants grow, no creature can survive. The hard, implacable rocks that form our mountain ranges are being crushed and folded by forces that will take millions of years to shape. These are the forces! This is the power… harnessed within each of Gunslinger’s massive erections. Points if you know what I ripped that off of. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/66 "2001-10-03T01:28:42Z")
Is _oneupsmansdick_ a word? If it isn’t, perhaps it should become one. Don’t know how else to describe this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/67 "2001-10-03T02:49:11Z")
My dick is so big, Captain Kirk regularly says “To boldly go to parts of my dick where no one has gone before” ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/68 "2001-10-03T04:18:19Z")
To follow that theme: My dick is so big…That if you’re sitting on the tip while I’m getting hard, you’ll get that cool warp-speed/star effect. Engage… ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/69 "2001-10-03T04:38:16Z")
Does anyone find it strange that **RedFury** should post the word _oneupsmandick_? Anyway, RF, says here in the OE **D** : > [@](#): > > The art of abstractly describing one’s sexual appendage as disproportionately larger than possible while besting anothers efforts to do as well. [First usage](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1672976#post1672976) My dick is so big…it’s the OED of dicks. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/70 "2001-10-03T04:40:03Z")
My dick is so big, people think my dick and Big Ben were separated at birth. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/71 "2001-10-03T06:51:09Z")
My dick is so big, it once scored four touchdowns in one game. ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/72 "2001-10-03T10:31:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by headshok \* > \*\*I’m trying to think of a good rooster joke to put in here… \*\* **Q** : What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? **A** : A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth. There ya’ go. ---
**Author:** ![Kritter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a587f6/32.png) [@Kritter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kritter)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/73 "2001-10-04T02:29:08Z")
listen to this ---
**Author:** ![Kritter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a587f6/32.png) [@Kritter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kritter)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609/74 "2001-10-04T02:32:07Z")
or maybe not. try this [www.bobandtom.com/gen3/enormous\_penis.htm](http://www.bobandtom.com/gen3/enormous_penis.htm) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-cock-so-big-it-scares-people/84609.md?page=3)