# Your current emotional struggle? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678 "2010-07-06T04:43:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/81 "2010-07-13T00:54:55Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > No prize. > > Folks can go for many years on dialysis. I’ve seen some last over a decade. Is transplant an option? > > And keep in mind, being alive carries its own death diagnosis. I’m 52, and according to actuarial tables and my diagnoses, my life expectancy is about another 10 years. Oh well, one never knows. I saw a number of 50% survival rate after 5 years on dialysis - still good? A full sister has offered, but, since a 3 yr survival rate for transplants is considered a hugh success, I will not put either of us through it. Besides, my “quality of life” seriously sucks, I don’t get along well with most medical types (there have been exactly 2 Drs. I genuinely liked and respected. I moved away from the first, and the second is the one who destroyed my brain with triazalom. Great tastes in docs, huh?), so I’m not going to bother even trying to play that game. And I am still going to have my damned Pepsi! Luckily, I have been munching chalk antacid and taking Calcium + Vit. D supplements. so maybe I am getting away with the Pepsi. Up next: calcium deposits! ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/82 "2010-07-13T00:57:59Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > ((((((be strong, best wishes))))) Thanks, and bless you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/83 "2010-07-13T02:16:20Z")
I’ve gotten to a point in life where I hear about a friend-of-a-friend or casual acquaintance killing themselves every month or so. Old, young, successful, alcoholic… I am actually not so torn up over it all. But I feel like I felt in high school when I realized that authors and artists weren’t putting symbolism in their work just to make my life tough (and give my teach something to quiz us on), that there are some simple truths and common experiences that never stop cropping up and affecting people. Okay maybe that’s all a bit vague. I certainly feel a bit better about where I am after reading some of these posts. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/84 "2010-07-13T02:30:46Z")
> [@shellofmyformerself](#): > > I am in love with my co-worker but he has no idea. We’ve shared an office for just over a year. We clicked the minute we met. We have many of the same interests–music, books, movies-- and the same strange sense of humor. He is what I consider the perfect man for me–he is kind and compassionate, intelligent, funny (and if I can be shallow for a minute, in great physical condition). Everything I’ve ever wanted. Except that he’s married, so nothing can or will ever happen between us. He is in a shitty marriage and it’s all I can do not to yell, “leave the bitch and come to me!” But of course I would never ever do that and even if I did, he wouldn’t because he is committed to his sons and to making his marriage work. So instead I die inside a little bit every day. And it sucks. I know its not me you are talking about. Even though my wife has/had a bf & has cheated on me. Even though I’m making it work. Even though I have two boys. Even though I’ve dropped down to an ok weight. I know this because, quite honestly, no one wants me. But thats ok. I still get hugs from my boys when I get home from work… ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Pedant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/85 "2010-07-13T02:32:32Z")
I don’t like this thread. I want to be able to wade into a GD or into the Pit, punch ferociously, and not worry about hurting the actual feelings of anyone already emotionally vulnerable. If it helps any of you out, feel free to transfer any of your frustrations onto this crusty old curmudgeon with the rhinoceros hide. Lemme have it. ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/86 "2010-07-13T05:44:05Z")
I’ve been out of work for a year, not having any solid leads on finding work. While I’m still looking for work, I’ve become very depressed, to the point of shutting myself out from friends and family. Sometimes I have suicidal or angry thoughts but have never acted on any of them, barring the occasional yell in my car or punching my bed. ---
**Author:** ![wwworldclique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bcef8e/32.png) [@wwworldclique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wwworldclique)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/87 "2010-07-13T13:29:41Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I really hate when people say that. If you want to rant about something I said, kindly deal with my entire post in context. Otherwise, don’t waste my time. ---
**Author:** ![wwworldclique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bcef8e/32.png) [@wwworldclique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wwworldclique)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/88 "2010-07-13T13:33:59Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > No, she’s just _human_. As I told someone else, if you’re going to go ranting about something I said, feel free to do so as long as you respond to the post in context. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/89 "2010-07-13T14:38:08Z")
> [@wwworldclique](#): > > If you want to rant about something I said, kindly deal with my entire post in context. Otherwise, don’t waste my time. Fuck your time. I responded to the part that I thought was a dumb thing to say. If you consider my post a rant, then you are super sensitive. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/90 "2010-07-13T16:36:12Z")
> [@kasuo](#): > > I’ve been out of work for a year, not having any solid leads on finding work. While I’m still looking for work, I’ve become very depressed, to the point of shutting myself out from friends and family. Sometimes I have suicidal or angry thoughts but have never acted on any of them, barring the occasional yell in my car or punching my bed. kasuo, that’s pretty much where I am at the moment. I called an emergency hot line and am getting help. It was very, very hard to even pick up the phone, but I am now glad I did. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/91 "2010-07-13T16:50:09Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > I called an emergency hot line and am getting help. It was very, very hard to even pick up the phone, but I am now glad I did. I always wondered if those emergency hot-lines ever really worked. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/92 "2010-07-13T17:04:15Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I always wondered if those emergency hot-lines ever really worked. They gave me several numbers to call for different issues. It turns out that my county does have some minor financial support for those with no place to turn and depression issues. It’s not a lot, but it is helping me through this crisis. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/93 "2010-07-13T17:13:16Z")
Catch-22: I can’t meet anyone if I don’t leave my house to go do stuff. I don’t want to leave my house to go do stuff without someone along. I’m not interesting if I don’t do stuff. I’m only motivated to do stuff with others. And on top of that I don’t even know what stuff I can go do that’s interesting to me or where to do it. So I stay home, stay online, talk to my few friends, and let time slip on by. It’s horrifying if I really stop to think about it, and while I know only I can change the cycle, it’s a monumental task and I don’t have any support. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/94 "2010-07-13T17:14:54Z")
> [@wwworldclique](#): > > Sorry to say this, but this friend is a real jerk. The friend in question has also participated in the thread and explained her side of the situation. Does that color your response? ---
**Author:** ![wwworldclique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bcef8e/32.png) [@wwworldclique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wwworldclique)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/95 "2010-07-13T17:33:26Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Fuck your time. I responded to the part that I thought was a dumb thing to say. If you consider my post a rant, then you are super sensitive. And thanks for your response, because all you’ve done is just confirmed what I feel about you. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/96 "2010-07-13T17:57:00Z")
> [@wwworldclique](#): > > And thanks for your response, because all you’ve done is just confirmed what I feel about you. Don’t waste your oh so precious and valuable time feeling anything about me. It is not my job to make sure my posts are yourtime-worthy. If you have all these ‘feelings’ about me bringing you turmoil, you can choose to put me on ignore. It is ironic that you chastise others for not reading your post in context. If you had followed the thread and read posts in context, you would have gleaned enough meaning from the post you quoted to know that it was incredibly stupid to declare that ‘her friend is a jerk’. Now, do feel free to invest more of your golden time responding to me, if your feelings about me permit. I’m on a message board to burn time. Forget about me working hard to make sure my posts are up to par for anyone else’s time investment. ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/97 "2010-07-13T18:11:39Z")
> [@SurrenderDorothy](#): > > Dealing with my dad’s death. And my friends. And my life. > > I’m having a hard time being normal. I’ve always been the one people would come to with problems or talk to when they needed an ear and lately, most of their problems seem so petty. Part of it is that I’m irritated that nobody is willing to shut up about their own lives and listen to me for a minute, so I start evaluating things like that- “is this really so important that you can’t chill out for a minute and listen to me?” > > But here’s the thing. I know that’s bad. I know “my life is so shit that nobody can beat me at the shit life contest right now” is a terrible attitude (and not accurate). And I need my friends- supportive or not, I need to not get myself totally isolated right now. And I realize that having my life shaken up doesn’t give me the right to be totally self-centered and only want to talk about myself and my problems all the time. And that people don’t want to be around someone who is angry and depressed, even if that’s how I actually feel. And that the whole idea of death makes people uncomfortable. So I try to be as normal as possible, but that’s really difficult. Because things are really, really not normal for me right now. You have my condolences. And you also are the flip side to MY emotional struggle: my husband’s father passed away the day before Father’s Day. I have done EVERYTHING that you were wishing your friends would do. I try not to bring up petty stuff from work, etc., because I know it just doesn’t matter comparatively, although I bring it up when he asks me, just so he knows what’s going on with me. He doesn’t talk about how he feels often, but when he does it’s about not feeling normal, about feeling numb, or like a black hole. I have made myself available, both emotionally & physically, to make sure he knows that when (if) he’s ready to talk, I’m here. But that doesn’t stop it from being VERY frustrating for me. The man I love is in a place that I can’t reach, that I can’t REALLY understand (since I haven’t lost a parent), and there’s not a damned thing I can do to help him BEYOND be available. He’s in bed most of the time when he’s not at work, although over the past few days he has been making an effort to actually come downstairs and spend time with the family. It also sucks watching him do the occasional thoughtless thing that spouses do, and feeling like I can’t be mad at him, because he’s already so depressed that I have no right to be angry over a little thing that is a momentary annoyance. It’s helpful, I guess, and somewhat reassuring, to know that he’s probably feeling many of the same things you are, and that it’s just as frustrating and lost for him as it is for me. Doesn’t make anything better, but at least - thanks to your post - I now have something to think about beyond my guessing how I would feel in his shoes. ---
**Author:** ![wwworldclique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bcef8e/32.png) [@wwworldclique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wwworldclique)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/98 "2010-07-13T18:30:10Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > The friend in question has also participated in the thread and explained her side of the situation. Does that color your response? No, it doesn’t, actually. Why would it? The first person painted a picture of a friend not only being unsupportive during an important moment, but berating her to the point of walking away feeling as if it’s “selfish” and “wrong” to confide in someone about _any_ problem. It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference to me if in reality she agrees with her friend’s response. People are in unhealthy relationships all the time and see it as normal; people do all kinds of legitimately hurtful things to each other and give each other a free pass. The fact that they’re both okay with what happened recently isn’t going to change my opinion of the dynamics of the relationship or what someone did wrongly, any more than if: one person posted that she was upset that a lover punched her after admitting an affair and they both came after me the next day ranting that I had no right to call him a jerk because _I wasn’t there at the time_ and therefore didn’t know what _really happened_. Even if for the sake of argument you could say I developed a wrong impression of these two people’s relationship, as well as what _really went down_, I’m only going by what the first poster said. Seems pretty ridiculous-- if not bizarre-- to bitch at me for calling someone a jerk when that’s _EXACTLY_ the picture that was painted. I’m saying no more on this, because frankly, I don’t want to hijack this thread any further and also, I’m getting a bit ooked out by the responses anyway. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/99 "2010-07-13T18:43:20Z")
> [@Indyellen](#): > > It also sucks watching him do the occasional thoughtless thing that spouses do, and feeling like I can’t be mad at him, because he’s already so depressed that I have no right to be angry over a little thing that is a momentary annoyance. I’m not going to speak for anyone else, but after my husband died I didn’t want to be treated any differently. Being tiptoed around would have hurt me more than someone being irritated or angry with me. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678/100 "2010-07-13T18:59:30Z")
> [@wwworldclique](#): > > Seems pretty ridiculous-- if not bizarre-- to bitch at me for calling someone a jerk when that’s _EXACTLY_ the picture that was painted. No one bitched at you. I merely disagreed with you, and you couldn’t handle that. You started catching ‘feelings’ and getting ‘ooked’, and all sorts of other sentimental garbage. It’s not personal. I simply said I didn’t like your point of view. Doesn’t mean I don’t like you. (I’m sure I probably would enjoy your posts if I knew you). After you made the hilarious and ridiculous post about ‘wasting your time’ I might have gotten a bit bitchy, but you had it comin’ by that point. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-current-emotional-struggle/545678.md?page=6)