# Your daughter is the Slayer. What do you do about the Watcher training her withour your consent? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 3, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856 "2010-12-03T20:34:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/21 "2010-12-03T22:44:45Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > The way I see it, the Slayer is going to be a target for the Forces of Darkness, regardless. If my daughter were the Slayer, I wouldn’t be happy about that to begin with, but I would also want her to be as well-trained as superhumanly possible, so she’ll be able to deal with that risk. If anything, I’d be mad at her and the Watcher for not letting me know earlier because me not knowing could interfere with her training. This, though I not only don’t have a child but have never watched Buffy. I turned the tv on once and there was something on, and David Borreanz was on the screen. I watch Bones, not Buffy or Angel. I thought I was watching a rerun SNL skit and kept waiting for the punchline. It was just that awful. Sorry! But yeah, I’d be pissed I wasn’t in on it. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/22 "2010-12-03T22:54:31Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I suspect the monks who made Dawn myself. I don’t think Joyce’s death was natural, either. I’ve always figured her aneurysm was the result of the extensive memory modification the monks had to do to get Joyce set up as Dawn’s “mother”. And, yes, Joyce was verrry nice. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/23 "2010-12-03T23:00:36Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > I’ve always figured her aneurysm was the result of the extensive memory modification the monks had to do to get Joyce set up as Dawn’s “mother”. More than that. It would not surprise me if the monks wanted it to happen. Joyce died at exactly the right moment, from the monks’ point of view. She wasn’t useful for protecting Dawn from Glory, but a grieving Buffy was much more likely to be irrationally, perhaps suicidally, protective of her sister. Did Buffy ever regain her memories of her Dawnless past? Because my impression is that she didn’t – that though she knew intellectually that Dawn was only months old and a magical construct, nonetheless that was never emotionally true for her. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/24 "2010-12-03T23:12:03Z")
“Have you tried NOT being a Slayer?!” 😃 Seriously, my first reaction would be PISSED OFF. I’d be furious that they were secretly indoctrinating her into a very violent life with little to no protections for her physical safety, education or future financial security. I’ve seen what this Slayer thing does to her grades, and how the hell is she going to get into a good college if she’s out killing vampires every night instead of doing her homework? For me, it would initially be very like if I found out that the US Army had recruited her while still underage and without my knowledge, and had been training her and sending her out on missions while she was still in high school. Big, BIG boundary issues. Once I was convinced that this really was a job only \*she _could do, and that she more or less wanted to do it, then I’d support her in that. I’d stop haranguing her about being out on school nights, but still demand she keep her grades up. I’d also be scheduling a Mama Bear meeting pronto, and working out exactly how much they’re paying her to put her life on the line every Tuesday. A substantial sum of money will be deposited into a trust fund for her, she better damn well have excellent health insurance paid for, and a tutor paid for by the Watcher’s Council will be meeting with her three times a week to help her keep up with her lessons. Or else._ Basically, as Buffy’s mom, I’m having a very similar discussion with them as the one Buffy did at the end of _Checkpoint_, only 5 years earlier. And, if she \*doesn’t \*want to be a Slayer, then she doesn’t have to be, I don’t care what they have to say about it. We will be moving off the Hellmouth, of course. Restraining orders will be obtained if needed to keep the members of the Council away from her. Kneecaps may need smashin’. \*Or else what? Er…I got nothin’. But I’m calling Oprah at the very least. The Watcher’s Council thrives on secrecy, let’s see if paying my daughter for her work is more attractive than worldwide exposure. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/25 "2010-12-03T23:21:02Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > And, if she \*doesn’t \*want to be a Slayer, then she doesn’t have to be, I don’t care what they have to say about it. We will be moving off the Hellmouth, of course. Restraining orders will be obtained if needed to keep the members of the Council away from her. Kneecaps may need smashin’. Did Joyce know about Buffy’s calling when she underwent the whatchamacallit test at 18, requiring taking away her powers? Because THAT I can’t see a parent forgiving. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/26 "2010-12-03T23:31:53Z")
You guys all act like the Watcher’s Council controls the Slayers. Of course that’s all a scam. They Slayers are the ones with the super-mojo. More than half the work of the Watcher’s Council is convincing the Slayers that the Watcher’s Council is worthwhile. The Watchers don’t control shit. So the reality is that your daughter is gonna be hounded by vampires, demons, and the Forces of Darkness. Might as well put the Watchers to work helping out. Course if they try to pull that Tento di Cruciamentum shit, they’re gonna look pretty funny trying to eat corn on the cob with no fucking teeth. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/27 "2010-12-03T23:39:28Z")
If she was saving the world, she can fuck anyone she wants ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/28 "2010-12-03T23:42:43Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > If she was saving the world, she can fuck anyone she wants What if the person she’s fucking is using his position over her to unduly influence her? ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/29 "2010-12-04T00:39:19Z")
There’s no doubt my first reaction would be to get mad as hell. This is my little girl and they’re putting her in mortal danger. Maybe she is the only one who can deal with all this, but she’s also my kid and she’s doing some really dangerous stuff that I wasn’t told about. My long term reaction would depend: does my daughter have a decent, cool watcher like Giles or did she get stuck with some other asshole from the watchers council? The ones who feel the slayer is no more than their instrument of fighting evil and say things like “the slayers change the watchers council remains.” If the latter, I’d do everything I could to get her away from them. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/30 "2010-12-04T07:31:06Z")
She was chosen by a higher power. Better to have her properly trained than caught unawares. I would ask for some financial incentives though. It’s ridiculous how wealthy the Watcher’s council is versus how little financial assistance they budget for the actual current slayer. If a slime demon breaks the windows and living room furniture _again_ it’s only fair we get some compensation. Not to mention, a slayer pension! If the slayer manages to make it past 18, they really shouldn’t have to worry about holding down both a career and slaying duties. Give it up for the girls. > [@Chronos](#): > > And I don’t see the relevance of the Watcher being sexy and of my preferred sex, beyond the fact that everything’s better with sexy librarians. Here, try some band candy… ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/31 "2010-12-04T07:43:07Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’d not care about the superhuman issue (except that it does seem to assure that the Watcher isn’t going to be able to sexually molest her by violent means). Slayers aren’t THAT super-human; it would be the consent issue, and the taking my kid into violent life when she is still a kid issue, that irritated me. If I buy the Slayer thing, then I probably accept it as her Destiny and support it. My child would be descended from a long line of warriors. She’ll do us proud. And there’s that whole Spiderman thing about power/responsibility… ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/32 "2010-12-04T09:24:07Z")
Well, since the alternative is her not being trained, therefore being more likely to die, I’d be glad she was trained. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/33 "2010-12-04T12:50:31Z")
The thing is, if you refuse to help, would the watchers just sit by, or would they want to get another Slayer? And the only way to get another slayer… ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/34 "2010-12-04T13:54:39Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Did Joyce know about Buffy’s calling when she underwent the whatchamacallit test at 18, requiring taking away her powers? Because THAT I can’t see a parent forgiving. Yes, that was in January of season 3, so Joyce had known that Buffy was the Slayer for 8 months or so, including the summer that she ran away. Of course, the vampire from the ‘test’ broke free, kidnapped Joyce, and used her as bait to make sure that Buffy would come to him for the final duel. She might have a hard time forgiving the watchers for their negligence and incompetence there too. ---
**Author:** ![RomeoAndRosaline](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e36b37/32.png) [@RomeoAndRosaline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RomeoAndRosaline)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/35 "2010-12-05T17:42:34Z")
I always thought it was pretty normal that Buffy’s mom was alright with her being the Slayer once she knew about it…I mean by that point it’s pretty clear Giles is gonna do his best to help her out and they knew each other fairly well, if I remember right. I always found it weirder that she was okay with them being so close _before_ she knew about it. I mean, there are definitely situations that pop up that seem way too close for a teacher and a student and Joyce’s reaction is basically “Oh, that’s nice! Let me leave you two alone with the door closed.” Buffy’s an attractive young girl, Giles would definitely be setting off my perv-o-dar hard at certain points in the first few seasons. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/36 "2010-12-05T17:48:05Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > What if the person she’s fucking is using his position over her to unduly influence her? When you’re a killer of the undead and blasphemies from the pit of darkness, I think the rules should work a little bit differently. So long as the Watcher’s not tying her down, then he can influence her if it makes their relationship effective ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/37 "2010-12-05T18:04:17Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > When you’re a killer of the undead and blasphemies from the pit of darkness, I think the rules should work a little bit differently. So long as the Watcher’s not tying her down, then he can influence her if it makes their relationship effective I do not understand how you can think this. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/38 "2010-12-05T18:14:24Z")
I think I’m rational enough to know that I would be completely out of my depth and there was absolutely no way that I could do anything to help and keeping me in the dark was keeping me out of the way (at least in theory). My child’s life is bigger than my consent. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/39 "2010-12-06T19:39:17Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I do not understand how you can think this. First, I would consider her an adult. Most people agree that 18 is just an arbitrary age anyway, but we enforce it because it would be too difficult to figure out where everyone’s arbitrary line of adulthood would be. Next, given the nature of what she is, I would consider her to be able to take care of herself. Last, because the relationship plays an important role in her world-saving job, I would feel that whatever contributes to that would merit higher priority than mankind’s notions of maturity and sexual responsibility. So she’s responsible for herself, she has to have a relationship with the Watcher, and that relationship is more important than anything else. Therefore, whatever the Watcher’s influencing her into doing is out of my hands. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856/40 "2010-12-06T19:52:14Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > First, I would consider her an adult. Most people agree that 18 is just an arbitrary age anyway, but we enforce it because it would be too difficult to figure out where everyone’s arbitrary line of adulthood would be. > > Next, given the nature of what she is, I would consider her to be able to take care of herself. > > Last, because the relationship plays an important role in her world-saving job, I would feel that whatever contributes to that would merit higher priority than mankind’s notions of maturity and sexual responsibility. > > So she’s responsible for herself, she has to have a relationship with the Watcher, and that relationship is more important than anything else. Therefore, whatever the Watcher’s influencing her into doing is out of my hands. I wouldn’t consider her an adult until after her mother died. I don’t really remember any specifics right now but I have the impression of her doing immature things over and over again throughout the early seasons. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-daughter-is-the-slayer-what-do-you-do-about-the-watcher-training-her-withour-your-consent/562856.md?page=3)