# Your Dream Role On The Stage **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 18, 2008, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133 "2008-09-18T12:43:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/1 "2008-09-18T12:43:27Z")
A friend and I were just talking last night about what our dream roles in the world of Musical Theater are. I actually don’t have to think twice about it; I’ve got two: Harold Hill, from **The Music Man**. It’s not my favorite show, but that character is a lot of fun. Plus, _You Got Trouble_ has got to be one of the greatest songs ever. I would kill just to be able to perform that one song. Horton, from **Seussical**. This is probably my favorite contemporary musical, and Horton gets to sing some awesome songs. And speak in Seussian rhymes. As a runner-up, I’d like to play Henry Higgins from **My Fair Lady**. I think his character is fascinating, and I love the show. However, I don’t know if I could be convincing in the character. Interesting, all my dream roles begin with ‘H’. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/2 "2008-09-18T12:53:45Z")
If I could sing, I’d like to perform [‘Sit down, you’re rocking the boat’](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7kzsZreG0o) from Guys and Dolls. Showstopper. 😃 If I could act, I’d like to deliver Lady Bracknell’s line in Oscar Wilde’s ‘Importance of being earnest’ [“A … handbag?!”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1jL-9S-oD8&feature=related) 3 seconds of joy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/3 "2008-09-18T13:13:00Z")
I’d love to play Professor Harold Hill, but I don’t think I could pull it off because I’m not sure people would buy him as short and overweight. On the other hand, I think I could do Pseudolus from _A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum_. I know I’d have fun with the part. And my late wife was always saying that she would have loved to see me play Sheridan Whiteside in _The Man Who Came to Dinner_. I like the play a lot (and I wish I could find a copy of a version I saw once on TV, with Orson Welles as the lead, and Marty Feldman as Banjo) and still occasionally quote lines from it at appropriate moments. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/4 "2008-09-18T14:01:01Z")
If I were a woman (or could pull off convincing drag), my dream role would be every wannabe Broadway chorine’s dream role, **Mama Rose** from _Gypsy!_ And then **Miss Adelaide** from _Guys & Dolls_. Male roles? Number one is probably **Tevye** from _Fiddler On The Roof_. Probably second is the Phantom of the Opera…don’t tell anyone! ---
**Author:** ![thwartme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@thwartme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thwartme)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/5 "2008-09-18T14:17:06Z")
I’ve had opportunity to play a couple - Macbeth & Malvolio were loads of fun. I’d like to play Henry Drummond in “Inherit The Wind” one day. Darrow was 68 during the Scopes Trial, so maybe I’d have to wait a few decades, but I’d love to play the part. Question for you musical types … do you want to play those parts because of the music, or because of the character? If it’s just the music, would it be okay to just do a concert performance? thwartme ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/6 "2008-09-18T14:51:05Z")
> [@thwartme](#): > > I’ve had opportunity to play a couple - Macbeth & Malvolio were loads of fun. > > I’d like to play Henry Drummond in “Inherit The Wind” one day. Darrow was 68 during the Scopes Trial, so maybe I’d have to wait a few decades, but I’d love to play the part. > > Question for you musical types … do you want to play those parts because of the music, or because of the character? If it’s just the music, would it be okay to just do a concert performance? > > thwartme All four of mine are both. Great characters in a great show all of whom have fantastic personal pieces to sing. I would love to do a concert performance if that’s all I were offered, because the best concert performances allow for the character to shine through the music, even without the ancillary dialogue and such. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/7 "2008-09-18T15:23:28Z")
Hedda in _Hedda Gabler_. I think Ibsen is the greatest modern European dramatist, and Hedda is his most compelling part – plus I’d get to mack on Eilert Lovborg for a scene or two. Lilli in _Kiss Me, Kate!_ gets to work her way through a raft of Cole Porter songs from the top of his game, plus Shakespeare from the middle of his. 😉 Helena in _All’s Well That Ends Well_ and the Bastard of Faulconbridge in _King John_ have some of the most interesting, chewy monologues in the Shakespeare canon – but they both completely pale by Margaret of Anjou in the _Henry VI_ trilogy (less so in _Richard III_). Derriere-kicking adulterous French queen with a giant sword, a great emotional arc and a seriously excellent command of verse, PLUS the biggest part Shakespeare ever wrote (major character in four plays). Yum! I’ve already played Martha in _1776_ and, obviously, Tracy in _The Philadelphia Story_, but they were delightful and I’d love to give them another go! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/8 "2008-09-18T15:31:50Z")
In nonmusical theater, I already got a chance to do it, a few years ago: Einstein in _Picasso at the Lapin Agile._ It was even better than I had dared hope it would be. Probably the best theatrical experience of my life so far. In musical theater, Seymour in _Little Shop of Horrors._ The songs are right in the best part of my range, and I’m a good match for the role. I think I’d knock it out of the park. Sadly, I haven’t yet had my shot. In the classics, I desperately want a crack at Laertes in _Hamlet._ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/9 "2008-09-18T15:55:46Z")
Ooh! Almost forgot a non-musical one…and again, it’s an either-gender choice. Either **Eleanor** or **Henry** from _The Lion in Winter_. God, both of those roles are incredibly beefy and powerful…and such TERRIFIC lines! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/10 "2008-09-18T15:58:42Z")
The lead in _Song & Dance_. I so love that show. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/11 "2008-09-18T15:59:56Z")
> [@thwartme](#): > > Question for you musical types … do you want to play those parts because of the music, or because of the character? If it’s just the music, would it be okay to just do a concert performance? > > thwartme Often they go hand in hand. A lot of the effectiveness of songs in Musical Theater comes from (IMHO) their context. Take them out of said context and any audience member who isn’t really familiar with the show is going to have a very different experience than those who can immediately place the song in the context of the show from which it was taken (not always; some songs work great out of context). For example, one of the more brilliant songs in **My Fair Lady** is _Why Can’t A Woman Be More Like A Man_. If a person heard that song for the first time in a concert setting, it would seem out of place. It would be a song that some guy is singing about why he hates women. Whatever. In the show, however, you know that character is Henry Higgins. You’ve observed how he treats Eliza Doolittle, Mrs. Pierce, Col. Pickering, and the song becomes a slow and humorous reveal of his true nature, which is not that he hates women, but that he’s really a narcissistic misanthrope, and _no one_ could ever live up to the shining example of humanity that he feels he exemplifies. So, a concert performance might be satisfying in some ways, but I think I would feel limited; I wouldn’t be able to deliver to the audience the fullness of understanding and emotion I would want to because there would be missing pieces of character and story that they would not have. Also, most concert scenarios are not going to involve the orchestra/costume/lighting that might be necessary. _Trouble_ from **The Music Man** requires staging and a band and a choir to deliver the full effect (again, IMHO). ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/12 "2008-09-18T16:09:12Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > The lead in _Song & Dance_. I so love that show. Oooh…I would so want to do “Take That Look Off Your Face”! I’d prefer to do a concert version, though, because _Song & Dance_ as a whole doesn’t really do anything for me. I like TTLOYF and the instrumental in _Variations_, but not much else in it…“Tell Me On A Sunday” generally bores the hell out of me. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/13 "2008-09-18T16:16:15Z")
Velma Kelly in **Chicago** , because she has such kick-ass choreography. ---
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/14 "2008-09-18T16:52:15Z")
A touch unoriginal I know - but Eponine in Les Miz. I’ve loved it since I was a kid. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/15 "2008-09-18T17:08:36Z")
“If My Friends Could See Me Now” from Sweet Charity. I saw Ann Reinking do this song in the revival on Broadway and she just knocked me out. And of course, there’s Shirley McLaine in the movie version. I love Bob Fosse’s choreography too. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/16 "2008-09-18T17:44:03Z")
Musicals: The Pirate King, for it is (it is) a glorious thing to be a pirate king. I would lobby my director to include “My Eyes are Fully Open” from Ruddigore. I’m probably too tall to play John Adams, but I think I’d do a good job and would figuratively stab people to do it. Rutledge would be my second choice for the sheer power of his song. Coming in third is Sky Masterson. * * * For plays I have no particular role, but I’d like to do _Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead_, _Arcadia_, _Noises Off_, and _Much Ado About Nothing_. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/17 "2008-09-18T19:24:34Z")
Mimi Marquez in _Rent_. I know a lot of people on the board hate that musical, but Rosario Dawson was amazing in the movie (never seen it on the stage). I’d love to play that part because it’s so different from who I am. Barring that, I’d like to play Johanna in _Sweeney Todd_ (if I had the voice chops to do “Green Finch and Linnet Bird”, that is). ---
**Author:** ![Euryphaessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Euryphaessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euryphaessa)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/18 "2008-09-19T03:02:24Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > Mimi Marquez in _Rent_. I know a lot of people on the board hate that musical, but Rosario Dawson was amazing in the movie (never seen it on the stage). I’d love to play that part because it’s so different from who I am. Very last post I read, and you steal mine! ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/19 "2008-09-19T03:24:37Z")
Totally outside of my Fach\*: Wotan in Wagner’s Ring. \*[Fach](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fach) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133/20 "2008-09-19T04:27:04Z")
If I could sing, I’d kill to play Jesus or Judas in _Jesus Christ Superstar_. Oddly enough, I’m an atheist. I can act, and have in the past. If I ever come out of “retirement”, it would be to do Drummond in _Inherit the Wind_, or Willy Loman in _Death of a Salesman_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-dream-role-on-the-stage/464133.md?page=2)