# Your experience and opinions on sensitivity training or other solutions to workplace intolerance **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2024, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621 "2024-04-22T15:15:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/41 "2024-04-25T18:41:30Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > This does not seem like the same situation to me at all. In the above scenario, the manager has unambiguously engaged in gender stereotyping. I’ll also note, unlike your original scenario, you didn’t feel the need to specify the gender of the manger because the comment here was so egregious it really doesn’t matter. I said I made it explicit for clarity and said in real life the gender roles would be unspoken. So a realistic statement would be: You are a male customer service rep and a woman complains to your female boss about how you were not empathetic to her plight. Your boss tell you to show emotions to the clients to let them know you care. What is your takeaway from that meeting knowing “showing emotions” is considered a female trait in our society. But honestly, that doesn’t address you point about context. There is no appropriate context for a male boss to tell female employees to stop being “emotional”. And that’s my point. Men can rationalize it all they want but in any context it is a microaggression. And yet they don’t see the unspoken sexism inherent in the word. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/42 "2024-04-25T18:44:55Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > What is your takeaway from that meeting knowing “showing emotions” is considered a female trait in our society. I guess my takeaway would be that my manager doesn’t believe I belong there because of my gender. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/43 "2024-04-25T18:47:30Z")
Ok, here’s one that I wonder about. A typical greeting to, say a small group is ‘Hey guys’. Well, does that grate on a girl/womans/females nerves? I think it sort of should. I am moving towards ‘Hiya folks’ which I think is better. What say you, um, folks. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/44 "2024-04-25T18:48:13Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > I guess my takeaway would be that my manager doesn’t believe I belong there because of my gender. BINGO!!! You get it! That’s how women feel when told not to be emotional. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/45 "2024-04-25T18:51:39Z")
My wife had a **male** boss tell her not to call a group of women “ladies” because it is offensive. She does not find it offensive. She asked the women she works with. None of them found it offensive. I asked my female students if they found it offensive because I call them “ladies” all of the time. None of them did. But I guess a man knows better than women what offends women. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/46 "2024-04-25T18:57:31Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > BINGO!!! > You get it! > That’s how women feel when told not to be emotional. You’re arguing a point I never refuted. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/47 "2024-04-25T19:00:12Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Ok, here’s one that I wonder about. A typical greeting to, say a small group is ‘Hey guys’. Well, does that grate on a girl/womans/females nerves? I’ve been told by a couple of women that they see “guys” as a gender neutral term now, including them in the group, and prefer it to a phrase like “guys and girls”. Just reporting from my own circle. Don’t pretend to know if it’s widespread. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/48 "2024-04-25T19:29:18Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > Women who voice strong opinions are much more often called “emotional” than men. The word “hysteria” literally means “from the womb.” > > Men who voice strong opinions are more likely to be called “direct” or “decisive.” > > The upshot is that women are constantly told by men that they need to calm down or avoid being emotional regardless of their _actual_ mental state, and men are allowed to exhibit a much greater degree of forcefulness before there’s a perceived issue. > > This is also, by the way, why toxic masculinity tells men they shouldn’t cry. Women are the emotional ones, men are not. Public emotional displays are a sign of weakness. I am wondering about the double-standard, though. We aren’t allowed to say women tend to be more emotional than men, but “toxic masculinity” (your own words) is perfectly fine. I also hear women accuse men of “mansplaining,” which apparently is also perfectly fine. So I’m confused. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2024, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/49 "2024-04-25T19:37:42Z")
Toxic masculinity is a term for bullshit gender norms that impact men, such as being told from a young age that crying is something that only “sissies” do. I’m not sure why you think it’s a double standard to discuss them. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2024, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/50 "2024-04-26T01:00:12Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > > [@FluffyBob](#): > > > > I would prefer to see a deeper understanding achieved than just the recognition of my authority and force of will. > > Everyone would prefer that everyone understand everyone else, but I fell the need need to point out that some people only understand authority and force of will. Such people can be reminded that it’s one thing to _feel_ homophobic, racist, superreligious, antireligious or whatever, but when it crosses into action or speech in the workplace, there’s a line they must not cross. > > A properly designed sensitivity training course may help them understand that (along with some idea of basic respect for another human). If not, it’s up to you. I would tend to agree with this. I mean it would be nice if training helped people to become more tolerant. But realistically, it’s more about telling people what behaviors will and will not be tolerated in your workplace. That way they have no excuse to be like “I didn’t know I couldn’t do that”. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2024, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/51 "2024-04-26T01:29:00Z")
Late to the thread, and skipping to the bottom to share an overview of the anti-bullying and anti-harassment training I have to take yearly. The training does describe what does and does not count as bullying and harassment. It describes how to report. And it gives scenarios and example supportive actions. The training said it’s usual to not know what to say in the moment, and gave some examples of how to support the victim after the fact. The training emphasizes personal safety. I think it’s more practical than sensitivity training, while showing sympathy for the victims. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2024, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/52 "2024-04-26T10:32:45Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > That way they have no excuse to be like “I didn’t know I couldn’t do that”. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Td67kYY9mdQ/hqdefault.jpg "George Costanza: Was That Wrong?") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td67kYY9mdQ) ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2024, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/53 "2024-04-26T23:09:55Z")
“Guys” applies to men and boys. “Girls” applies to, well, girls. Children, not adult women. No one wants “guys and women”, or “guys and ladies” and certainly never “guys and females” (nevermind “other-identifying individuals”). “Gals” just hasn’t gained popularity and feels very dated to me, dated to a time where women weren’t particularly viewed with respect. We simply haven’t developed an equivalent to “guys” that works in more inclusive manner (folks? Peeps? Gang? Dorks?). It is entirely possible to just say “hi!” or “hey everyone!” without adding a gendered term at all, do that’s what I generally do and what I recommend. Though I personally don’t mind being addressed in a group with “guys” and given as I’m one of very few women on my company, I actually _hate_ when people try to correct and “include me” by referencing my gender. In French , I prefer masculine or gender neutral terms too; something about “inspectrice” grates at me (a function I do, not even my title). I do identify as female, but why is it even a subject to comment on? (I fully realize this is a “me” problem; I rarely say anything unless asked, but it’s still my preference). ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2024, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/54 "2024-04-28T03:00:33Z")
Guys and dolls, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2024, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621/55 "2024-04-28T14:45:29Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > Toxic masculinity is a term for bullshit gender norms that impact men, such as being told from a young age that crying is something that only “sissies” do. I’m not sure why you think it’s a double standard to discuss them. Well, no. Actual “toxic masculinity” is often commonly referred to as “acting like an asshole”. Years ago, I used to work at a different firm that had a bit of a “Wolf of Wall Street” culture. Now some activities like being out late drinking and hanging out in strip clubs wasn’t inherently wrong, but did perhaps create a culture of exclusion or people (especially women) who did not want to partake in those activities. But some behaviors like loudly making off-colored jokes in the office, hitting on or being overly “touchy feely” with female coworkers, and routinely mocking one of the project managers whenever she brought these behaviors to people’s attention definitely fall within the realm of toxic behavior. As for “not crying” or “being a sissy”, I think the reason men are taught this was because historically a man is supposed to earn a living and protect his family. Crying, whining, bitching, and learning inclusive behaviors doesn’t help that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-experience-and-opinions-on-sensitivity-training-or-other-solutions-to-workplace-intolerance/1000621.md?page=2)