# your fav movie quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 20, 2000, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945 "2000-01-20T06:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/1 "2000-01-20T06:50:00Z")
I’ve noticed a lot of movie quotes in people’s signatures. I think that’s cool. Reason: My girlfriend recently told me “I finally figured out that I just have to put things in movie terms to effectively communicate with you…” While this is only partly true, there is some truth to it. Anyway, I want to see some of y’alls favorite movie quotes! We need to know who said it and in what film (if you can remember). I’ll start: “I was being honest, asshole. I would expect you to know the difference.” ~John Bender, _The Breakfast Club._ “Hey, I’m very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That’s fucked up. But that ain’t my fault. It would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn’t do that, I’ll sign it. Put it to a vote, I’ll vote for it. But what I won’t do is play ball. And this non- college bullshit you’re telling me, I got two words for that: “Learn to fuckin type,” cause if you’re expecting me to help out with the rent, you’re in for a big fuckin’ surprise.” ~Mr. Pink, _Reservoir Dogs_ “Ahh, that’s not cheatin’. People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl ‘mom’.” ~Randall, _Clerks_ “You listened to me?! Haven’t I made it abundantly clear over the tenure of our relationship that I don’t know shit?!” ~Brodie, _Mallrats_ “Hey, maybe you haven’t been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked pal!” ~Pvt. W. Hudson, _Aliens_ “You want me to drag him outta here; kick the shit out of him?” ~Rick ‘Wild Thing’ Vaughn, _Major League_ “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” ~Ted Theodore Logan, _Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure_ “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.” ~Randall, _Clerks_ I’ve said that last one myself several times. Tech support is the one job that makes you feel smart, not becasue you are, but because you talk to idiots all day. 😃 * * * “And on the eighth day, God Created beer to prevent the Irish from taking over the Earth.” _~SNOOGANS~_ ---
**Author:** ![kinoons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a698b9/32.png) [@kinoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kinoons)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/2 "2000-01-20T07:05:00Z")
“Its a 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigerettes, its dark, and were wearing sunglasses.” “Hit it.” Jake and Elwood Blues ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/3 "2000-01-20T14:40:00Z")
“I want my $2.00!” - Johnny the Paperboy in Better Off Dead “How you get so big eating food like this?” - Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back “Get off my plane!” - Pres. Marshall in Air Force One “You dont need a patch on your arm to have honor.” - Lt. Kaffee in A Few Good Men * * * Judges 14:9 - So [Samson] scraped the honey into his hands and went on, eating as he went. When he came to his father and mother, he gave some to them and they ate it; but he did not tell them that he had scraped the honey out of the body of the lion. ---
**Author:** ![ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryan)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/4 "2000-01-20T15:03:00Z")
Just about the entire movie “The Princess Bride”! Virtually all of my friends can quote long passages of the film and will do so given any opportunity! MY favorite is the exchange between Miracle Max(Billy Crystal) and Fezik(Andre the Giant) Max-“Go away or I’ll call the Brute Squad!” Fezik-“I’m on the Brute Squad” Max-“You ARE the Brute Squad!!” * * * “The universe doesn’t give first warnings or second chances” ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/5 "2000-01-20T15:13:00Z")
“You know what you are? You’re basard-people is what you are! And you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna do home and bite my pillow, that’s what I’m gonna do!” -\*Waiting for Guffman \* “When you’re born depressed, everything else is pleasant surprise.” _Say Anything_ “I can’t think about that today. If I do, I’ll go insane. I’ll think about it tomarrow, when I’m stronger.” \*Gone With the Wind \* “I am Jack’s Unfettered Rage.” \* Fight Club \* and I’m with ryan on the Princess Bride front. I have a friend who insists on saying the following whenever Inigo Montoya does his thing: “Hello. My name is Mandy Patinkin. I was in the Secret Garden. Prepare to hear me sing.” And when Inigo starts screaming, Jeremey starts screaming. It’s fairly amusing. My goodness I love movies. * * * One must have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star. -Nietzche ---
**Author:** ![Llardball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f6c823/32.png) [@Llardball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llardball)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/6 "2000-01-20T16:07:00Z")
“God! Shut up Richard! I’m out here on the road, all alone, we can’t get a sale, the company’s going down, we just killed Bambi, I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know where I’m going, and everytime I grab the wheel, I want to drive into a Goddamn bridge embankment!” ## Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley), Tommy Boy If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/7 "2000-01-20T16:09:00Z")
Man, I hate these threads. Four thousand (give or take a few) intelligent, literate members, and not a HANDFUL of them watches any movies older than 1980. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Moonshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Moonshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonshine)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/8 "2000-01-20T16:48:00Z")
“What we’ve got here… is failure to communicate…and so you get what we had here last week… which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it.” Cool Hand Luke ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/9 "2000-01-20T17:04:00Z")
For Ukelele Ike: “If you do not take me home this second, I shall run amok” - Laura “Buckle your seatbelts, folks. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.” - All About Eve “PIPE DOWN!!!” - The Ghost and Mrs. Muir “Put ze candle BECK!” - Young Frankenstein “I grovel in mortification.” - Death on the Nile “People? I ain’t people!” - Singing in the Rain My parents raised me on a steady diet of MGM musicals and film noir. These are lines that have become part and parcel of our normal family discourse. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/10 "2000-01-20T17:04:00Z")
My favorite movie… Casablance Rick: I remember Paris perfectly. The Germans wore grey, you wore blue. * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![Jai\_Pey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a4c791/32.png) [@Jai\_Pey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jai_Pey)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/11 "2000-01-20T17:07:00Z")
Good thread… beautiful in fact. “There was a demon who lived in the air, and they said anyone who challenged it would die. Their controls would freeze up, their planes would buffet wildly, and they would disintigrate. The demon lived at Mach 1 on the meter, 750 miles per hour, behind a barrier through which they said no man would ever pass. They called it the sound barrier. Then they built a small plane, called the X-1, said it had the secret to passing the sound barrier, and men came to the high deserts of California to ride it. They were called Text Pilots, and no-one knew their names.”- Voiceover, _The Right Stuff_ “You ain’t leadin’ but two things right now, Jack and Shit… and Jack left town.” -Ash, _Army of Darkness_ Similarly, “Yo! She-bitch! Let’s go!”; “Groovy.”; “This is my BOOOMSTICK… double-barrel 12-gauge shotgun, S-Mart’s top of the line… Cobalt blue steel, oak stock, Michigan made with a hair trigger. Shop Smart…Shop S-Mart. Now the next one of you primitive screwheads who so much as lays a finger on me, I swear I’ll…”; “Gimme some sugar, baby.”; and the all-time best… “What of all the sweet words you spoke of our love? - Ahhh… thats just what we call pillow-talk, baby!” Ash, _ibid._ And depart from the (borderline) misogynic… “Son, a woman is like a refridgerator. They’re big, white and cold… No, waitaminnit…Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They look good, they smell good… You’d step over your _own mother_ just to get one. But you can’t stop at one! You gotta drink another woman!” -Homer Ya ya I know… but its “funny becuz its true.”, “White guys are SOO lame.” Regards, Jai Pey * * * === James Parsons IANBABAIBOTID “…because the only people for me are the MAD ones…” - J Kerouac ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/12 "2000-01-20T17:19:00Z")
The immortal Groucho Marx, in Animal Crackers: “Why you’ve got beauty, charm, money! You have got money haven’t you? Because if you don’t we can call this thing off right now.” Chico: Now, how do we stand? Groucho: Flatfooted. Chico: Now, yesterday we didn’t come, you remember yesterday, we didn’t come? Groucho: Sure, I remember. Chico: Well, that’s $100. Groucho: Yesterday, you didn’t come, that’s $100. That’s reasonable, I can see that. Chico: Todat we do come, that’s– Groucho; That’s a hundred yu owe us! Chico: Ey, I bet I’m gonna lose on the deal. –John ---
**Author:** ![the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f1d935/32.png) [@the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Scarlet_Pimpernel)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/13 "2000-01-20T17:31:00Z")
“Live, live, live! Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!” - Mame Dennis (Rosalind Russell), _Auntie\_Mame_ “Eunice? That’s a person named Eunice?” - Judy (Barbra Streisand), _What’s\_Up\_Doc?_ “And if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” - Captain Geoffrey T. Spaulding (Groucho Marx), _Animal\_Crackers_ “What do I need manners fer? I already got me a wife!” - Adam Pontipee (Howard Keel), \_Seven\_Brides\_for\_Seven\_Brothers So there, Uke! ## Plus anything from _The\_Princess\_Bride_. Hand me my nose ring, show me the mosh pit! ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/14 "2000-01-21T06:30:00Z")
“Survival kit contents check. In them you’ll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days’ concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.” Major T.J. Kong (Slim Pickens) _Dr. Strangelove_ * * * Come let us go, I’ve a cask of amontillado. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/15 "2000-01-21T06:39:00Z")
Phouka—you were close, it’s “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.” Other oldies but goodies: “As long as there’s sidewalks, you got a job, Princess.”—Joan Blondell, Footlight Parade “I ask you, as one lady to another—isn’t that a load of clams?”—Jean Harlow, Bombshell “Nothing lasts forever. Except Roosevelt.”—Mary Astor, The Palm Beach Story “Go. I am wee-wee of you now.”—Mawlene Dietwich, Shanghai Expwess ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/16 "2000-01-21T06:49:00Z")
"In a world without love,it is better to be dead."George Hamilton in Love at First Bite.I dont watch many “roamntic” movies! ---
**Author:** ![Squee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@Squee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squee)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2000, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/17 "2000-01-21T06:56:00Z")
“See the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years, your gonna do some thinkin’ and your gonna realize that there are two certainties in life: One - Don’t do that, and Two - You wasted a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin’ education you could have gotten for a $1.50 in late charges at the local library.” Matt Damon- _Good Will Hunting_ * * * The most rewarding part was when I got my money! -Dr. Nick Riviera ---
**Author:** ![UncaStuart](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncastuart/32/404_2.png) [@UncaStuart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncaStuart)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/18 "2000-01-20T19:06:00Z")
“I’m shocked … shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.” Claude Rains, Casablanca ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/19 "2000-01-20T20:31:00Z")
Good… Bad… I’m the guy with the gun. -Ash Kaw, Kaw, BANG, Fuck, I’m dead! -The Crow I’m sitting here in the dark… naked… wearing only a cockring. -HHH, Pump Up The Volume Bout the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry! -Jay, Clerks It’s Gone! -Generic Cronie, Deathstalker II Look at me… I am the sum of all evils. -The Loc-Nar, Heavy Metal My my, aren’t we fierce! Guards, castrate him. You die… she dies… everybody dies. -Heavy Metal * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) Computers have let mankind make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945/20 "2000-01-20T20:50:00Z")
Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges! ~Mexican Bandolero _Blazing Saddles - 1974_ Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges. ~Gold Hat, _The Treasure of the Sierra Madre -1948_ I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man. ~Ned Pepper, _True Grit_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-fav-movie-quotes/12945.md?page=2)