# Your Favorite Alternative Christmas Songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 1, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229 "2001-09-01T00:46:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/21 "2001-09-01T14:52:51Z")
I agree that _2000 miles_ and _Fairytale of New York_ are great Christmas songs. I listen to Phil Spector’s album _A Christmas Gift for You_ and the first _A Very Special Christmas_ around that particular time of the year. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/22 "2001-09-01T15:05:16Z")
I’ve been fond of the old vaudeville ethnic classic, “Miss Fogarty’s Christmas Cake,” since I first heard it on a holiday Celtic broadcast on WKCR, New York, about ten years ago. Sample verse: …Maloney was took with the colic, O’Donnell had pains in his head McNaughton lay down on the sofa, And he swore that he wished he was dead Miss Bailey went into hysterics And there she did wriggle and shake And everyone swore they were poisoned From eating Miss Fogarty’s cake ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/23 "2001-09-01T15:06:42Z")
On a slightly evil note, _Apocalypso (Wiping the Smile off Santa’s Face)_ is not too bad. 1985, though. ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/24 "2001-09-01T15:23:43Z")
Foremen - “Buy War Toys For Christmas”. We have got our fingers crossed, for another cold war frost, singing “Oh my golly, let’s be jolly, then a holly-caust”… ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/25 "2001-09-01T15:34:32Z")
It’s gotta be [Homo Christmas](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/SongUnid/EDCD643C58DB5EA348256A1C002434E4), by Pansy Division. ---
**Author:** ![sdarr2002](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@sdarr2002](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdarr2002)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/26 "2001-09-01T15:37:41Z")
i must agree “christmas at ground zero” and “the night santa went crazy” are the best. last year, a friend of mine was just out of the hospital. so my kids, three of my son’s more brainy friens, and i got dressed up and went “caroling” at his place. cheered him up alot. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/27 "2001-09-01T16:22:39Z")
A friend of mine, now deceased, wrote a parody of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and titled it “Freddy Phelps is Coming To Town” You better watch out Now don’t you be lax, or you’ll be appearing in his next fax Freddie Phelps is coming to town! He’s making a list, or so he will tell, for each one in Heaven there’s a billion in hell Freddie Phelps is coming to town… And it went on from there. I just wish Bill(the friend) was still alive so I could tell him how funny it still is. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/28 "2001-09-01T16:27:27Z")
And let’s not forget _Christmas at K-Mart_ by **Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band** ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/29 "2001-09-01T16:28:29Z")
XTC (performing as “The Three Wise Men” : **"Thanks For Christmas"** I also second the nomination for the Dickies version of **Silent Night!** ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/30 "2001-09-01T16:55:17Z")
Martin Mull’s “Santa Doesn’t Cop Out on Dope.” I also liked his “Santa Fly,” but I’ve only heard it once. ---
**Author:** ![Schadenfreude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@Schadenfreude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schadenfreude)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/31 "2001-09-01T17:16:33Z")
I can’t believe no one has posted “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses. A note about _Dark Noel_: The full title is _Excelcis: A Dark Noel_, and it is not a Christian band compilation. There are now two cd’s in the series (second one subtitled “A Winter’s Song”), and are mostly pretty good. They are put out by Projekt and have the standard collection of gothic and darkwave artists, mostly from that label. A couple tracks are laughable, but are made up for by the rest. And how could I forget Loreena McKennit’s two Christmas albums? _To Drive the Cold Winter Away_ and _A Winter Garden_ are both exquisite. My favorite is “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” from the latter. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/32 "2001-09-01T18:02:18Z")
Jill Sobule: “Merry Christmas from the Family” Ray Stevens: “Santa Claus is Watching You” ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Second\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Echo)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2001, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/33 "2001-09-01T22:34:23Z")
Well, I’m not sure if this is exactly what youre looking for, but might I suggest my favorite Christmas album, **Merry Axemas: Guitars for Christmas**. It came out in 1997 and features many of today’s top guitarists putting their own spin on Christmas classics. I’m not going to write out the whole tracklisting, but a few of the songs are: Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer–Kenny Wayne Shepherd The First Nowell–Eric Johnson (EXCELLENT, btw) Amazing Grace–Jeff Beck Silent Night/Holy Night Jam–Joe Satriani Joy to the World–Steve Morse The Little Drummer Boy–Alex Lifeson Thats about half the album. Anyay, its all instrumental, and each song reflects the style and personality of the guitarist who recorded it. I’ve seen it in a few stores around the holidays, but probably the easiest way to get it is through Amazon, Borders, or some similar 'net commerce site. And if that sounds interesting, theres also a **Merry Axemas 2** featuring another slate of guitarists (and at least one bassist) doing a different set of Christmas songs. I don’t own that one, but if it’s even close to the origional, it’s worth every penny. And 3 cheers to everyone who mentioned Weird Al’s “Christmas at Ground Zero” and “The Night Santa Went Crazy”. Both classic. Wow…my first post here! Hooray! ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/34 "2001-09-02T00:03:34Z")
I like to listen to **Cheech and Chong** ’s, Santa Claus and His Old Lady. It gives me that warm, Christmassy, feeling. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2001, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/35 "2001-09-02T02:48:20Z")
“Let’s Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas” from MST3K. It’s based on “Road House” and is hands down one of the funniest Christmas songs ever. Search out a copy of “Clowns in the Sky: The Music of MST3K” somewhere and listen to it if you’ve never heard it. -Brianjedi ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2001, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/36 "2001-09-02T05:28:54Z")
Well, it’s not a parody or a satire-I don’t think-but I found an interesting performance of “We Three Kings” by Sarah McLachlan and the Barenaked Ladies on cdnow. It actually sounded really nice. Especially Sarah Mclachlan’s verses…Wow. Ranchoth ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2001, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/37 "2001-09-02T05:39:45Z")
“Little Drum Machine Boy”–Beck ---
**Author:** ![Potter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Potter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Potter)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2001, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/38 "2001-09-02T12:21:48Z")
I’ve always had a soft spot for ‘Walking round in women’s underwear’ by Bob Rivers. Lyrics to this and others like it can be found [here](http://www.speelman.net/humor/xmas/index.shtml). But then two of my listening favourites are ‘A Tijuana Christmas’ by The Tijuana Brass (the bossa nova ‘Hark The Herald Angels Sing’ being a high point) and ‘A Very Reggae Christmas’ which sounds like it’s by some ancient white guy playing with the ‘reggae’ button on his grandkid’s Casio. Tacky is as tacky does . . ---
**Author:** ![Peregrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a6a055/32.png) [@Peregrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peregrine)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/39 "2001-09-02T19:24:54Z")
Some other Bob Rivers parodies I would recommend include “I Came Upon a Road-kill Deer,” “It’s the Most Fattening Time of the Year,” and “The Chimney Song” (“There’s something stuck up in the chimney and I don’t know what it is…”). See “Twisted Christmas” and “More Twisted Christmas.” ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/40 "2001-09-02T20:10:12Z")
My fave alternative Christmas song is “St. Stephen’s Day Murders” by Elvis Costello, with the Chieftains. It’s on the Chieftains’ _Bells of Dublin_ Christmas album. More people should hear it. It’s a perfect antidote to painful family gatherings. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229.md?page=3)