# Your Favorite Alternative Christmas Songs

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [September 1, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229 "2001-09-01T00:46:23Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![idiot\_box](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bc79bd/32.png) [@idiot\_box](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiot_box)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/41 "2001-09-03T01:16:37Z")

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The Kinks- Father Christmas  
Calibretto 13 - Merry Freakin Christmas  
Save Ferris - Christmas Wrapping  
MXPX- christmas comes only once a year  
++++++  
red peters & friends- holy sh\*\* its christmas  
RunDMC- Christmas in Hollis- not alt rock but still =P

ADAM SANDLER- CHRISTMAS SONG!!!

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**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/42 "2001-09-03T01:42:23Z")

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Well. I see that a number of people have already mentioned Weird Al’s two christmas parodies. Darn them. Darn them to Heck. I do see, however, that no one has mentioned “Christmas Time in Hell”, from that South Park movie.

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**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/43 "2001-09-03T06:19:43Z")

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another vote for “The Night Santa Went Crazy” (Extra Gory Version).

Also Tom Lehrer’s “A Christmas Carol”:  
“Kill the turkeys, ducks, and chickens,  
Mix the punch, draaaaag out the Dickens.  
Even though the prospect sickens,  
Brother, here we go again!”

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**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/44 "2001-09-03T15:17:45Z")

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_Gabriel’s Message_ by Sting. It’s beautiful and haunting.

My son has a thing for “A Very VeggieTales Christmas”. Singing vegetables. There’s a calypso version of ‘He is born, the holy child’ that is very good, and there’s also one of Junior Asparagus singing ‘While by my sheep’ that is adorable. Sheep bleat the echo to the chorus… I should tell **Scylla**.

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**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/45 "2001-09-03T15:29:49Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Weird\_AL\_Einstein \*  
> \*\*Well. I see that a number of people have already mentioned Weird Al’s two christmas parodies. Darn them. Darn them to Heck. I do see, however, that no one has mentioned “Christmas Time in Hell”, from that South Park movie. \*\*

I’m pretty sure that’s from _This is Spinal Tap_, actually (“No bells in Hell!/ No snow below!”).

My favorite obscure Xmas song is “I’m Walking Backwards for Christmas” from _The Goon Show_: “I’m walking backwards for Christmas/ Across the Irish Sea…” Okay, it doesn’t make any sense, but hey, it’s The Goons…

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**Author:** ![edbenson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e79b87/32.png) [@edbenson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edbenson)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/46 "2001-09-03T16:48:49Z")

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This might not be considered alternative, but Chuck Berry’s “Run, Run Rudolph” has always been one of my faves. Last Christmas I found a version by Keith Richards on Napster that truly rocks.

Creaky mentioned Elvis, his “Santa Claus is Back In Town” is great too, with lines like, “Got no sleigh with reindeer, no pack on my back, you won’t see me comin’, IN A BIG BLACK CADILLAC”, and “Hang up your pretty stockings, turn off your light, Santa Claus is comin’, DOWN YOUR CHIMNEY TONIGHT”.

“FairyTale of New York” is a great one I’d forgotten, I’ll have to put it on next years Christmas CD.

As far as “Merry Christmas from the Family” goes, Jill Sobule’s version is ok, but I prefer the Robert Earl Keene original.

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**Author:** ![toshirodragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e68b1a/32.png) [@toshirodragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toshirodragon)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/47 "2001-09-03T17:47:29Z")

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We blast out Twisted Christmas by Bob Rivers every year while we decorate the tree…  
I am partial to “Wreck the Malls” and “The Restroom Door said Gentlemen” Oh god I think its time for Christmas in Sept

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**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/48 "2001-09-04T01:08:18Z")

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_I am Santa Claus_ Don’t know who sings it, but its cross between Xmas music and _Ironman_ by Black Sabbath. Very funny. Some of the lyrics I remember:  
How much does he weigh?  
It takes 8 reindeer to pull his sleigh!

Leave him cookies and beer  
He’ll stop first at your house next year!

Sigh, the only station in town that would play that has gone country and so the odds of my being able to hear it this year are slim to none.

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**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/49 "2001-09-04T02:04:20Z")

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Once, while driving to my parents’ house for Christmas, I picked up an out-in-the-boondocks radio station, and they played a song to the tune of _Jingle Bells_ that went something like:

_Rust and smoke,  
The heater’s broke,  
The door just blew away,  
Oh what fun it is to ride  
In a rusty Chevrolet,  
Hey!_  
\<something something\>  
\<something something\>  
_The radio, it’s okay,  
Oh what fun it is to ride  
In a rusty Chevrolet!_  
I only heard it the once. Damned if I can remember the rest of the lyrics, or who wrote it. I’d love to hear it again.

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**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/50 "2001-09-04T03:52:06Z")

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The following site is one I found another time when I googled “German Shepherd humor” The very first item is a rather sweet version of The Twelve Days… and the second is(IMHO) the most hilarious parody of “Winter Wonderland”

[http://globalcorp.com/gsd/dog-humor.htm](http://globalcorp.com/gsd/dog-humor.htm)

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**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/51 "2001-09-04T04:01:53Z")

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Oops, I forgot to add the following for tracer, in the post immediately preceeding my own here.

[http://www.dayoopers.com/Lyrics.html](http://www.dayoopers.com/Lyrics.html)

Click on #24

I highly recommend anything by Da Yoopers. My personal favorite of theirs is “The Second Week of Deer Camp” Actually hdearing them adds to the experience, their “accent” is hard to describe

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**Author:** ![jinty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jinty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jinty)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/52 "2001-09-04T12:08:23Z")

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My contribution: Shonen Knife’s Phil Spector tribute, “Space Christmas”.

I’m waiting for Santa Claus  
He’s riding on a bison sleigh  
I’m waiting for Christmas gifts  
I wanna get a spaaaaaaceship!

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**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/53 "2001-09-04T19:12:04Z")

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Listen, The Snow Is Falling by Yoko Ono

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/54 "2001-09-04T20:01:06Z")

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There’s always [The Arrogant Worms](http://www.arrogant-worms.com/) _Christmas Turkey_ CD, containing:

[li] Christmas Sucks[/li][li] Vincent the Christmas Virus[/li][li] Christmas Hangover[/li][li] Santa’s Gonna Kick Your Ass[/li] Christmas is Almost Here [Aaahhhggggrrr!]

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**Author:** ![Stella\_Fantasia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@Stella\_Fantasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stella_Fantasia)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/55 "2001-09-04T20:16:12Z")

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“Fairytale of New York” & “2000 Miles” are the best serious alternative Christmas songs. If you’re in the mood to laugh, find yerself a copy of _Christmas in the Stars_, the Star Wars Christmas album, featuring songs like “What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas” and “R2-D2, We Wish You a Merry Christmas”. & if you’re from Baltimore, you will appreciate “Walking in an Essex Wonderland”.

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**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/56 "2001-09-04T20:52:41Z")

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Y’all have already gotten most of the good ones!

Actual cover song - Little Drummer Boy, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Satire - Christmas with the Devil, Spinal Tap  
[OT]  
**pcubed** - Mojo Nixon, yes! Never met another Mojo fan online.  
[/OT]

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**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/57 "2001-09-28T17:00:36Z")

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Thanks everyone! I’ve finally gotten most of your suggestions (other than whole cds) downloaded.

I too love Bob Rivers, and have three of his Christmas cds(The Ironman-like song is on “I Am Santa Claus” btw), as well as the mentioned “Christmas in the Stars” which I have had since grade school. Anyone have the Muppets christmas cd that came out in the early 80’s? They do duets with then-famous singers. Run Run Riendeer was the best. I need to find another copy of it. I think I saw it at staples last year.

If anyone thinks of more…

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**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/58 "2001-09-28T19:54:01Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Booker57 \*  
> > **"Grandma got run over by a reindeer" Forgot who sings it. Sorry.**
> 
> Patsy & Elmo.\*\*

How many people here ever caught ELmo’s sequels to **GGROBaR**? Don’t remember the title of the first one, but it was essentially a reply from Santa explaining that Grandma was really run over by Grandpa, who framed Santa for the job.

The second one is “Don’t Make Me Play That Grandma Song,” where Elmo plays a radio DJ who is sick of playing “that grandma song,” even though his callers constantly request it.

I guess Elmo felt guilty after recording the first… 😃

(Oh, and “Weird Al” Yankovic’s **Christmas At Ground Zero** is better than his **The Night Santa Went Crazy,** IMO. Less gory and easier to sing to.)

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**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/59 "2001-09-28T21:23:40Z")

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_Happy Christmas (War is Over)_ John Lennon

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**Author:** ![Von\_Erich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@Von\_Erich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Von_Erich)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-alternative-christmas-songs/79229/60 "2001-09-28T21:50:47Z")

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Robert Earl Keen’s “Merry Christmas from the Family”

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