# Your favorite Austin Powers quotes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 15, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592 "2001-11-15T20:10:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/1 "2001-11-15T20:10:52Z")
Was just thinking of all great quotes out of the two Austin Powers movies. Here is a starter quote or two: From the first movie: From the bathroom fight scene- “Who does number 2 work for!” "Yeah, their always after me lucky charms---- [snickering] Why does everyone laugh when I say that?" -me ---
**Author:** ![curious\_george](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b487fb/32.png) [@curious\_george](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curious_george)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/2 "2001-11-15T21:01:36Z")
“Oh behave!” ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/3 "2001-11-15T22:22:01Z")
I’m going go watch a myewvie. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/4 "2001-11-15T22:35:46Z")
“Only sailors wear condoms, baby!” “Not in the Nineties, Austin.” “Well, they ought to, those filthy beggars, they go from port to port…” ---
**Author:** ![King\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7bcc69/32.png) [@King\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/5 "2001-11-15T22:37:08Z")
“I don’t care if he is a Fat Bastard, you don’t give a man a shot in the pills. It’s just not cricket, baby.” ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/6 "2001-11-15T23:05:29Z")
“Allow myself to introduce…myself.” ---
**Author:** ![RocknRoll\_Killing\_Machine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@RocknRoll\_Killing\_Machine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RocknRoll_Killing_Machine)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/7 "2001-11-15T23:15:05Z")
Only two things in the world scare me. One is nuclear war, the other is… _carnies_. Carnies? Yes, carnies, you know, they have those little hands and smell of cabbage. ---
**Author:** ![jabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/db5fbb/32.png) [@jabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabe)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/8 "2001-11-16T00:31:14Z")
“personally, I like to give the under carriage a little ‘hows your father’” “try the hot pockets, their breathtaking” “I never forget a pussy…cat” “Swedish made penis enlarger pumps and you: That kind of thing is my bag, baby. By Austin Powers” “yay capitalism” “Basil, this coffee tastes like shit” “I get it, I have bad teeth” “stop looking at me like I’m fricken Frankenstein” I could go on all day peace, JB ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/9 "2001-11-16T02:23:04Z")
“Austin, the cold war’s over” “Well, finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh comrades, eh” “Austin, we won” “Oh groovy, smashing. Yay capitalism” “One mill-yon dollars” “The moon unit will be divided into two divisions: Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa.” (embarassing - I lol’ed in the cinema at this _and no one else did_) “You’re not quite evil enough. You’re semi-evil. You’re quasi-evil. You’re the margarine of evil. You’re the Diet Coke of evil: just one calorie, not evil enough.” ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/10 "2001-11-16T03:15:04Z")
“Watch as I demonstrate the awesome lethality of the Alan Parsons Project.” “That’s not your mother, it’s a man baby!” “I’ve turned the moon into what I like to call a ‘death star’.” “Privates! We have sighted an unidentified flying object. It has a smooth shaft, complete with…two balls!” ---
**Author:** ![JRT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3e96dc/32.png) [@JRT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRT)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/11 "2001-11-16T04:21:27Z")
Thats **Doctor Evil** , I didn’t got to 8 years of evil medical school to be called mister. Let me tell you a little story about a man named **Shh!** ---
**Author:** ![reoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9adbd/32.png) [@reoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reoch)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/12 "2001-11-16T11:19:34Z")
“I won’t bite…hard” -Da first one…my fav ---
**Author:** ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/13 "2001-11-16T11:51:09Z")
“The boy is quite astute, I really am trying to kill him” ---
**Author:** ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/14 "2001-11-16T13:16:26Z")
Sex: Yes please. ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/15 "2001-11-16T13:40:55Z")
I love all Dr Evil’s ways of saying “shut up”. Like, “[www.zipit.co.org](http://www.zipit.co.org)” My favourite is the bit when he’s about to give the order to destroy earth with his “laser”, but forgets what he’s doing. Austen has to tell him, and the action start again. ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Earthworm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/16 "2001-11-26T03:05:50Z")
“You bastard … who … is … fat.” -Syko ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Harvey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@Max\_Harvey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Harvey)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2001, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/17 "2001-11-26T03:50:15Z")
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re about to begin Phase 2 of our evil project. Or is it Phase…I don’t know phases.” “If you’ll excuse me, there’s someone I have to get in touch with and forgive…myself. [farts] Sorry, I farted.” ---
**Author:** ![Natural-J-Bankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/59ef9b/32.png) [@Natural-J-Bankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Natural-J-Bankie)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2001, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-austin-powers-quotes/93592/18 "2001-11-26T07:01:35Z")
Dealer: But sir, you have a seven. Austin: I too like to live dangerously. Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo? Scott: ARGGGGH! You always do that! I also like: only sailors wear condoms the cold war is over allow myself to introduce…myself swedish made penis enlarger pump it sounded like you said your name was Alotta…never mind But the funniest scene by far is when Austin gets the electric cart stuck between the walls.