# Your favorite conspiracy theory/ crackpot notion **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 22, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034 "2001-03-22T18:34:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/81 "2003-04-01T06:06:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > **Well, someone I know told me that Michael Jordan’s father was killed by the Mafia because they had ordered Michael to stop playing professional basketball and he wouldn’t. But this same person believed that most crimes are committed by cops, who then plant false evidence and pay people to give false testimony to convict innocent people. The fact that her husband was in jail for a very bizare crime spree may have something to do with her beliefs.** A much more credible (although still unlikely) Michael Jordan conspiracy is that his father was killed in retaliation for MJ’s massive gambling debts (which actually aren’t pretty far from the truth–he DOES love to gamble), and that his first “retirement” from basketball was really a suspension from David Stern for gambling. Stern has also been accused of fixing the NBA draft lottery on several occaisions, most notably when Patrick Ewing went to the Knicks and to a lesser extent, when Orlando won it two years in a row (despite having the lowest chance of winning it the second time). And yeah, the Tesla stuff is really cool too. My favorite one is about his laser beam weapon. The one that supposedly fried a bunch of birds and could blow all kinds of shiat up but never really got implemented. I forget the particulars, but its destructive power sounded really cool, if not totally ludicrous. And isn’t it true that a lot of Tesla’s notes are still kept secret? ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/82 "2003-04-01T13:38:17Z")
Lee Harvey Oswald was a double agent for the KGB and the CIA. His trips to Russia and Mexico were part of his scheme to betry the CIA to the Russians. His body was destroyed;the body buried in the dallas cemetary is that of a homeless man…that is why DNA testing was never done on the body. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/83 "2003-04-01T14:00:02Z")
I cannot believe this thread was bumped right after I heard this one: Press Secretary Ronald Brown’s airplane death was a test for 9/11. The government killed him to see if they could fly a plane into a building (or mountain) and convince people it happened “accidentally.” When it proved successful, they decided people would believe two planes hit the WTC towers “accidentally.” When nobody believed it, they blamed the whole thing on terrorists. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/84 "2003-04-01T14:32:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Admiral Borg \* > \*\*Wyoming doesn’t exist. No, I’m serious. It doesn’t. > Think about it. Have you ever: > > 1. Been to Wyoming? > 2. Met anyone from Wyoming? > 3. Hi, Opal!\*\* It’s commonly known that when Amerigo Vespucci mapped America, after piecing together all the states (which is quite hard in the East, given their eccentric shapes, but pretty easy in the West) there was a space left over. In it, he scribbled “Wyoming”, which is Spanish for “no state”. One mistranslation later the Wyoming myth was born, and you saps have been falling for it ever since. [This theory](http://home.pacifier.com/~dkossy/tyler.html) is on my top ten. Apart from that, it’s the usual stuff. Illuminati, the Gemstone Files, JFK ordered his own assassination… ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/85 "2003-04-01T14:35:39Z")
Oooh, just remembered one! You know Jews, right? You know bagels, right? Well, the Jews invented the bagels. But the bagels Jews themselves eat… _…have no hole in the middle!_ The hole is just in the bagels given to gentiles, so that the Jews can laugh and snicker as pieces of chicken land in our laps, making a mess and ruining our Armani suits. If that’s not proof of an international Jewish conspiracy, may I ask you: WHAT IS? ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/86 "2003-04-01T14:41:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Palandine \* > \*\*For me, it has to be the Philadelphia Experiment. That’s the one where supposedly during WWII the military was fiddling with new ways of camouflaging ships and managed (I believe it was with magnetic fields) to transport a ship instantaneously from one port to another hundreds of miles away. However, apparently some rip in space/time occurred, and when the ship was returned some of the crew were dead, some insane, and some were _melded_ into the metal of the ship itself, still alive. > > Just the sheer creepiness of it gets to me. > > I also like the ones about how Tesla (the scientist, not the band 😃 ) came up with a sonic weapon so powerful it could crack the world in two. \*\* I really liked the whole Philadelphia experiment thing too. I even wrote a paper on it in college. It was codenamed Project Rainbow and was probably really experiments in degaussing technology. In researching the paper, I discovered that Tesla was supposedly involved in the project (happened on the year he died I believe). It was fun taking a Mulder and Scully approach to this mystery, first by citing what ufologists thought was going on, then rationalizing and citing what the critics and skepitcs believed happened. It was probably one of the most unbiased papers I ever wrote 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/87 "2003-04-01T14:46:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Oh definitely it’s got to be the massive consipiracy by our government to ‘cull’ the population via spraying our rural landscapes with poisons that sicken and kill us within hours. > > Witness the carnage [here](http://www.contrailconnection.com), complete with photos of ‘chemtrails’ which are cleverly disguised as the contrails that every plane emits. > jarbaby \*\* Ah Jarbaby, you take me down memory lane… That place is still up? Of course, I should have known. Conspiracies never die, they just get wierder. I did so enjoy playing with the chemtrail goofballs, but like you the replies I got were usually of the “shut up” variety. It got rather dull. Perhaps I should pop in on them again, or are there enough “government agents” (i.e anyone who doesn’t believe their nonsense) already there? ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/88 "2003-04-01T14:49:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*I think I would probably put hidden images illustrations just to see if anyone noticed them. You know? \*\* At one time in my life I designed webpages for P&G’s intranet. I stuck a tiny image of Darth Maul in a colored bar seperating line once. No one noticed. I pointed it out to the client eventually, he loved it as he was a big Star Wars fan. ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/89 "2003-04-01T16:09:44Z")
I always get a chuckle over the supposed notion that the Jews are trying to take over the world, as if there was some sort of “grand poobah” Jew out there calling the shots that all Jews world-wide listened to and obeyed. All I know is that if there _is_ a world-wide conspiracy involving Jews, I really wish somebody would let me in on it. Where do I get my secret handshake and propeller beanie? 😉 Barry ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/90 "2003-04-01T18:56:39Z")
There is this [book](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1931412928/qid=1049223184/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-3864065-1851117?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) that I refuse to buy I have a short attention span and I cannot find it anywhere ( library or garage sales) and well…I just want it. That, and the french author’s conspiracy book how the attacks of 9/11 on the pentagon were faked. I cannot remember what his name was, but I think it was finally released here in the US to much poo-poohing. Imagine that. ---
**Author:** ![guy\_from\_wpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@guy\_from\_wpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guy_from_wpa)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/91 "2003-04-02T01:13:01Z")
After two years worth of postings, and no Lyndon LaRouche? You know–The Queen of England and George H. W. Bush are running a big drug cartel. The LaRoucheites even had a banner printed up and strung it over City Ave in Philadelphia about 7-8 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/92 "2003-04-02T01:49:12Z")
I’m surprised there has not been a big deal made of the space shuttle catastrophe happening near Palestine, Texas. Makes a great conspiracy theory – a Palestinian who is secretly a terrorist sabotages the shuttle? ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/93 "2003-04-02T04:10:23Z")
JFK shot [himself](http://www.trulyrandom.4t.com/about.html). ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/94 "2003-04-02T05:53:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by godzillatemple \* > \*\*I always get a chuckle over the supposed notion that the Jews are trying to take over the world, as if there was some sort of “grand poobah” Jew out there calling the shots that all Jews world-wide listened to and obeyed. > > All I know is that if there _is_ a world-wide conspiracy involving Jews, I really wish somebody would let me in on it. Where do I get my secret handshake and propeller beanie? > \*\* There’s a joke whose exact set-up escapes me but the punchline is that the Jewish guy would rather talk to the neo-nazi than the rabbi sitting on a park bench because the rabbi will just complain about how bad things are but the neo-nazi will talk about how great Jews have it–they run the banks, the media, the government… ---
**Author:** ![Cavalier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/97f17d/32.png) [@Cavalier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cavalier)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/95 "2003-04-02T12:24:17Z")
Nearly two pages and no mention of crop circles? [Here](http://www.exopolitics.org/Study-Paper3.htm) is one of my favourites. The basic idea of it is that the war against Iraq is to capture Saddam’s alien technology. From [here](http://www.cyberspaceorbit.com/indexback45.html): > [@](#): > > Buried deep beneath the sand s of Iraq are the secrets of the Shining Ones of Planet X. Saddam’s actions reveal that he knows the political value of these secrets. Before exploring the eye-opening story of Nebuchadnezzar’s opening of a stargate it is important to lay a foundation for this event. Saddam is currently engaged in a massive program to convert Iraq into a “Disneyland of the ancient Shining Ones” (my term). Included in this program is the recreation of ancient Sumerian temples dedicated to the Shining Ones, the copying of ancient cuneiform tablets concerning the Shining Ones, and the retrieval of ancient Babylon’s famed Ishtar Gate from Berlin. Makes perfect sense when you look at it like that. I’m almost certain it’s serious. Why are these crackpot sites always so multi-coloured? My all-time favourite is from the people at [Eagle-Net: Citizens Against the New World Order](http://eaglenet.enochgraphics.com/) and their star man, [Branton](http://www.angelfire.com/ut/branton/). That last site takes a while to load, lots of graphics, annoying midi, not for people who don’t like orange. It’s worth it, though. He’s completely serious. His work has everything. JFK, RFK, Nazis at the South Pole, the hollow earth, ancient astronauts, Nazis on Mars, faked moon landings, lizard men, the Hypogeum of Hal Saflienti (sp?), cattle mutlations, everything paranormal. According to [CRIM-RAM001: The Cosmic Conflict and the Da’ath Wars](http://www.anomalous-images.com/text/CRIM001.TXT), at least. He seems to make no money from his work yet the volume is staggering and most of his sources obscure. He gives a lot of the credit to the [hybrid council](http://eaglenet.enochgraphics.com/dulce/Y93FINIS.html). ---
**Author:** ![Moeman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Moeman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moeman)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/96 "2003-04-02T17:15:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wonko The Sane \* > \*\*Electronic devices work on transmitting smoke through wires. When the wire is cut, they automatically seal themselves to keep the smoke from escaping, but if parts get too hot, they will release the smoke, and never work again. \*\* AHHH! the magic smoke theory. I’ve used this one on novice computer people. I the magic smoke escapes the whole thing is ruined and wont work anymore. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Moeman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Moeman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moeman)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/97 "2003-04-02T17:33:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MLS \* > \*\*I’m surprised there has not been a big deal made of the space shuttle catastrophe happening near Palestine, Texas. Makes a great conspiracy theory – a Palestinian who is secretly a terrorist sabotages the shuttle? \*\* Speak of the Devil and here I am. I found this this morning by accident. [http://english.pravda.ru/war/2003/04/02/45430.html](http://english.pravda.ru/war/2003/04/02/45430.html) Can it be sooo true?😃 ---
**Author:** ![j.c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@j.c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j.c)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/98 "2003-04-02T18:05:22Z")
Help, please? Someone once recommended a social history of conspiracy theories. Being a MORON, I lost the notebook with the name of this wonderful, magical book. Does anyone have any idea what it might be? I’ve done keyword searches at online bookstores and the library, but found nada. Do you suppose there is a conspiracy to keep me from reading it? ---
**Author:** ![Larz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Larz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larz)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/99 "2003-04-02T18:56:28Z")
What about the theory that there are underground tunnels stretching around the globe and that the government is working with Reptilian aliens or something like that. Cant’ forget the conspirracy about the RAND corporation, aliens, and the reverse vampires too 😉 ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034/100 "2003-04-02T19:15:48Z")
[Millhouse] We’re through the looking glass here, people! [/Millhouse] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-conspiracy-theory-crackpot-notion/59034.md?page=6)