# Your favorite contradictory (or other interesting) business signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 27, 2017, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377 "2017-12-27T12:20:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2017, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/21 "2017-12-27T19:44:03Z")
Long time ago, I saw a sign advertising donut holes for three cents each, or 40 cents per dozen. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2017, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/22 "2017-12-27T21:11:21Z")
There’s a lot more of that these days than most folks realize. 12-packs of my usual brand of TP are $5.99. 18-packs of the same size rolls (yes, I checked) are $10.99. Buy in bulk; pay an extra 2 dollars! Dirty rotten thieves. They also make sure the “price per unit” info on the tags is incompatible. One is price per roll, the other is price per linear foot. The math is accurate, but the goal is 100% flim-flam, not honestly informing the consumer. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2017, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/23 "2017-12-27T21:23:18Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Dirty rotten thieves. They also make sure the “price per unit” info on the tags is incompatible. One is price per roll, the other is price per linear foot. The math is accurate, but the goal is 100% flim-flam, not honestly informing the consumer. I prefer to think of it as a reward for doing math. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2017, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/24 "2017-12-27T21:36:04Z")
The name of 7-Eleven is a bit outdated now… ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2017, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/25 "2017-12-27T23:45:36Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > In Pennsylvania the Liquor Control Board limits the number of hours per week that are “Happy Hours”. > > That’s sad.☹ It wasn’t even allowed in Illinois to have happy hour drink specials from 1989 until July of 2015, when a new law was signed allowing happy hour drink specials again. It’s now limited to 4 hours per day, 15 hours per week. It still is a bit jarring to me; before, happy hour specials were always food specials like half off appetizers. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/26 "2017-12-28T05:48:14Z")
[Here](https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10215164894018332&set=a.10205917340355270.1073741826.1312001333&type=3&theater) is a pic I took somewhere in the Middle of Nowhere, North Dullkota. It was circa July 1996 so I’m breaking the OP rules by it not being recent. If it’s hard to make out it’s a Subway sandwich shop with 2 large banners proclaiming they have **leeches and live bait**. Will that be a six-inch or foot long sub for you, pal? :eek: What you’re seeing on the bottom of the pic is not water but the paper from my scrapbook page. There wasn’t a river or lake anywhere near there. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/27 "2017-12-28T12:30:14Z")
Here in the Philippines, the customary two-for-one sale is marked “Buy one, take one”. How many would you expect to take, if you buy one? ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/28 "2017-12-28T12:44:17Z")
A pet store says they have Fish Grooming Pets I always wondered if the fish were being groomed (how do you do that?) or if the fish were grooming other pets (combing the dogs?). ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/29 "2017-12-28T12:57:54Z")
> [@campp](#): > > There was an old ranch near my work that had a sign: “GOATS: milk, meat, and pets”. > > Always thought it a tad weird. Some goats are luckier than others. > [@pulykamell](#): > > Oh, [and here’s a photo](https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22154136_10155841054338777_5262408974559018270_n.jpg?oh=2ae7d7c87ed787f5a7804787c6d7db19&oe=5AB3AF1E) from a store shelf sign marking a special “sale” item. I guess there is some truth in labeling it “Everyday Savings.” A grocery store chain does something like there, usually tagging their store brand being cheaper than the national brand next to it. They don’t have the savings=0 part, though. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/30 "2017-12-28T13:21:49Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Long time ago, I saw a sign advertising donut holes for three cents each, or 40 cents per dozen. :dubious: Was that in Mr. Miggle’s Emporium? 😉 😙 ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/31 "2017-12-28T14:18:21Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Semi-boneless meat. > > It’s boneless or not. If it has half the bones it started with, then it’s semi-boneless, right? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kiber](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kiber/32/317_2.png) [@Kiber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiber)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/32 "2017-12-28T14:39:31Z")
McDonald’s drink cups have (or had?) a note saying “Please put litter in its place”. I’m pretty sure that’s not what they mean. If we put litter in the trash - then it becomes garbage. The place for litter is on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/33 "2017-12-28T14:57:57Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > A grocery store chain does something like there, usually tagging their store brand being cheaper than the national brand next to it. They don’t have the savings=0 part, though. This one is definitely an error of some sort. Goya is not a store brand (it’s a popular international brand), and of the thousands of signs I’ve seen, this is the only one where I’ve ever seen regular price = sale price, savings $0.00. (I have a tendency to look at sale signs wherever I go and note just how ridiculous some “sales” are. The previous winner was Target with something that was about a buck being offered at 3 cents off regular price.) This is the first time I’ve ever seen “$0.00” off, but I’m certain it’s an error. Either one of the prices is wrong, or it wasn’t supposed to be tagged to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/34 "2017-12-28T15:14:51Z")
Not quite the same thing, but I’m still kind of amazed that Geico trumpets how switching to them could save you up to 15% or more on your car insurance. Really? Doing that _could_ save me _up to_ 15% _or more,_ you say? Give me a thousand bucks right now; I could then hand you two thousand bucks – or less than two thousand bucks, or more than two thousand bucks; no word of it a lie. But _does that literally mean anything?_ Or is it just a mention that stuff under a certain dollar amount, or over that dollar amount, may result, or maybe not? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/35 "2017-12-28T15:29:18Z")
A local burger place used to let you split one of their rather hefty burgers. We went in a few months ago and said “We’d like to split a Classic.” The cashier tells me “Oh, we don’t do that any more, but I can cut it in half and give you extra fries.” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/36 "2017-12-28T15:30:15Z")
Back in February, I was in an office that had some of those dopey motivational posters up. One poster had a picture of a bridge, with the slogan, “Communication: Build Bridges, not Walls”. Next to that was a poster that said “Teamwork: Many Hands, One Goal.” This poster had a picture of the Great Wall of China. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/37 "2017-12-28T16:24:10Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > … > But _does that literally mean anything?_ Or is it just a mention that stuff under a certain dollar amount, or over that dollar amount, may result, or maybe not? No it does not. It is carefully written to \*mean \*exactly zero. While giving the lazy listener the \*impression \*of having said something very favorable. The only difference between that and a tweet from il Douche is the “careful” part. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/38 "2017-12-28T16:25:50Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > A local burger place used to let you split one of their rather hefty burgers. We went in a few months ago and said “We’d like to split a Classic.” The cashier tells me “Oh, we don’t do that any more, but I can cut it in half and give you extra fries.” :smack: Did he/she mention their new and improved upcharge for sharing? ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/39 "2017-12-28T16:52:00Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > In Pennsylvania the Liquor Control Board limits the number of hours per week that are “Happy Hours”. > > That’s sad.☹ Not having enough of them in Wisconsin is frowned upon. I know of some bars that have Happy Hour _three_ times per day. Third shift bars, ones that open early and are already busy at 8am. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/40 "2017-12-28T18:08:35Z")
I went with some friends to a place that was advertising “All You Can Eat Fish and Chips”. When we asked for a refill, we were told by the waitress that the management had determined that “all you can eat” means two servings. A friend of mine is infuriated whenever he sees a sign saying something like “earn up to $10,000 per year or more!”. Yup, that pretty much describes all possible values. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377.md?page=3)