# Your favorite contradictory (or other interesting) business signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 27, 2017, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377 "2017-12-27T12:20:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/41 "2017-12-28T18:20:22Z")
My favorite sign was at the U.S. Mission in Geneva, next to the Marine guard post at the garage entry: ID BADGE REQUIRED TO BE VISIBLE ON THE PREMISES I took mine off and asked the duty Marine if he could still see me. He didn’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/42 "2017-12-28T18:24:15Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > If it has half the bones it started with, then it’s semi-boneless, right? 😃 If we took the bones out, it wouldn’t be crunchy now, would it? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/43 "2017-12-28T18:46:12Z")
Semi-boneless: We took out all the big obvious ones and left the small sharp chips in there for you to find. Bone Appétit! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/44 "2017-12-28T19:08:45Z")
I know of a church with this sign at the entrance to their driveway: Unitarian Universalist Church Member Parking Only ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/45 "2017-12-28T19:31:28Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > [Here](https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10215164894018332&set=a.10205917340355270.1073741826.1312001333&type=3&theater) is a pic I took somewhere in the Middle of Nowhere, North Dullkota. It was circa July 1996 so I’m breaking the OP rules by it not being recent. If it’s hard to make out it’s a Subway sandwich shop with 2 large banners proclaiming they have **leeches and live bait**. > > Will that be a six-inch or foot long sub for you, pal? :eek: > > What you’re seeing on the bottom of the pic is not water but the paper from my scrapbook page. There wasn’t a river or lake anywhere near there. “Sorry, this content isn’t available right now The link you followed may have expired, or the page may only be visible to an audience you’re not in.” ☹ ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/46 "2017-12-28T19:31:41Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Not having enough of them in Wisconsin is frowned upon. I know of some bars that have Happy Hour _three_ times per day. Third shift bars, ones that open early and are already busy at 8am. Ah, Wisconsin, where the taverns outnumber the churches (as the Good Lord intended). A bunch of us used to meet at a Legitimately Irish Pub for a great happy hour (Irish whiskies and Wisconsin micro-brews: Half Off). We were finishing up our critique of everything and decided to order another pitcher. “If you wait ten minutes, we’ll be back on Happy Hour.” _"Back_ on Happy Hour?" “Aye-ya, ours is 3 to 6 and 9 to midnight.” We told him his sign should read \*\* Happy Most-Of-The-Evening.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/47 "2017-12-28T19:36:31Z")
**Just Bagels** —a solidly established bagel joint in the Bronx, their ad logo, painted everywhere, is [Bagels ain’t bagels unless they’re Just Bagels](https://s3-media2.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/hKq4XSuuX5sk-K_46zLn0Q/ls.jpg). Around the back of their store for awhile in the 1990s they’d apparently decided to expand operations, insofar as they had, painted on their brickwork, the information that “Just Bagels isn’t just bagels any more!” 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/48 "2017-12-28T19:41:46Z")
I always liked the slogan for a certain discount brand store of ‘always up to 60% off’. I found something there that, according to the label, was 75% off the original price. It was tempting to go and complain. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/49 "2017-12-28T19:53:49Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Oh, [and here’s a photo](https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22154136_10155841054338777_5262408974559018270_n.jpg?oh=2ae7d7c87ed787f5a7804787c6d7db19&oe=5AB3AF1E) from a store shelf sign marking a special “sale” item. I guess there is some truth in labeling it “Everyday Savings.” Our local supermarket has an Everyday Price on their bananas which seems to change every week. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/50 "2017-12-28T21:37:03Z")
I’ve seen a sign (in English) on a shop door in Turkey saying “Sorry, we are open”. What to make of that? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/51 "2017-12-28T22:15:16Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Long time ago, I saw a sign advertising donut holes for three cents each, or 40 cents per dozen. :dubious: Baker’s dozen? Then it’s only off by one cent, which could be a labor charge for counting out 13 friggin’ donut holes. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/52 "2017-12-28T22:24:59Z")
I remember seeing something like “buy 1 hot dog at double price, get one free!” Obvious joke, but in an actual coupon format. > [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Not quite the same thing, but I’m still kind of amazed that Geico trumpets how switching to them could save you up to 15% or more on your car insurance. Not as bad as “people who switched saved $X” or similar. People who won’t pay less don’t switch! > [@hogarth](#): > > I went with some friends to a place that was advertising “All You Can Eat Fish and Chips”. When we asked for a refill, we were told by the waitress that the management had determined that “all you can eat” means two servings. The mediocre AYCE sushi model is just to get slower in service to gauge the customer’s ability to finish it all. It’s also all you can **eat** , not order, and they will charge you a takeout fee if you don’t finish “all of it.” Which is itself not true, as you can get away with leaving some waste, just not an excessive amount. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/53 "2017-12-28T22:31:01Z")
A nice fridge on “clearance” at Lowes. Not in the fridge section…out in one of the isles near the door. I think it might even had a ding on the side or top. Marked down to only something like $995/$999. What a steal! Original price? Something like a $1007. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2017, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/54 "2017-12-29T00:10:18Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#): > > I’ve seen a sign (in English) on a shop door in Turkey saying “Sorry, we are open”. What to make of that? I’ve seen the same sign in businesses in the U.S. I think they’re just trying to be whimsical, to bring a smile to the customer’s face. Like a reversal on the typical “Sorry, we’re closed” sign. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2017, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/55 "2017-12-29T00:37:47Z")
[Break pads](http://home.earthlink.net/~ah3files/Stuff/Break%20Pads.jpg) [For rent](http://home.earthlink.net/~ah3files/Stuff/For%20Rent.JPG) [Jewelry store](http://home.earthlink.net/~ah3files/Stuff/Johannas%20Jewerly.jpg) [The misprint](http://home.earthlink.net/~ah3files/Stuff/Miss%20Print.JPG) [Freakin’ nails](http://home.earthlink.net/~ahunter/Upload_Download/Freakin_Nails.JPG) [Hot wings](http://home.earthlink.net/~ahunter/Upload_Download/Hot%20Wings.JPG) ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2017, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/56 "2017-12-29T00:42:10Z")
"If you believe you received this message in error . . . " No, I intended to get intercept. I always liked “Save up to 50% and more”. How much more? Why not pitch the higher savings? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2017, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/57 "2017-12-29T00:42:45Z")
Not in the spirit of the OP, but [this Planet Fitness juxtaposition](https://dailylolpics.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/When-youre-trying-to-stay-healthy-but-your-demons-still-haunt-you.jpg) is funny. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2017, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/58 "2017-12-29T02:24:52Z")
A while back I read an amusing book about 2 guys who thought they would improve the world by driving across America and correcting spelling and grammar in signs they encountered. They ran afoul of the feds when they corrected some landmarked signs at the Grand Canyon. I have nothing specific to offer other than to observe that I’ve never found advertisements for “All you care to eat” all that appetizing. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2017, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/59 "2017-12-29T02:29:25Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > “Sorry, this content isn’t available right now > The link you followed may have expired, or the page may only be visible to an audience you’re not in.” > > ☹ I think if you’re signed in on your own FB account it will show it (somebody please confirm or refute this). I had intended to use Photobucket but that was totally FUBAR last night and wouldn’t let anyone post. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2017, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/60 "2017-12-29T03:14:35Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > I think if you’re signed in on your own FB account it will show it (somebody please confirm or refute this). I had intended to use Photobucket but that was totally FUBAR last night and wouldn’t let anyone post. I’m signed in and I can’t see it. > [@](#): > > Sorry, this content isn’t available right now > The link you followed may have expired, or the page may only be visible to an audience you’re not in. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377.md?page=4)