# Your favorite contradictory (or other interesting) business signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 27, 2017, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377 "2017-12-27T12:20:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2017, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/81 "2017-12-30T16:34:07Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > **Just Bagels** —a solidly established bagel joint in the Bronx, their ad logo, painted everywhere, is [Bagels ain’t bagels unless they’re Just Bagels](https://s3-media2.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/hKq4XSuuX5sk-K_46zLn0Q/ls.jpg). Around the back of their store for awhile in the 1990s they’d apparently decided to expand operations, insofar as they had, painted on their brickwork, the information that “Just Bagels isn’t just bagels any more!” > > 😕 There’s a fuel oil company near me called **Just Oil (and more)** ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2017, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/82 "2017-12-30T16:46:54Z")
Saw a television commercial last night for a weight loss product with the guarantee that you would lose up to 13 pounds in the first week. The only thing this actually guarantees is that you will _not_ lose _more_ than 13 pounds in the first week. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2017, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/83 "2017-12-30T18:34:35Z")
Houston area: a) Joe’s Crab Shack, a local seafood restaurant chain, has signs permanently painted on its buildings saying, “Free crabs tomorrow”. b) A vacant lot out by Bush Airport used to have a large sign announcing “Property NOT for sale”, with the realtor’s phone number in four-foot high letters so that one could, presumably, call and find out what the asking price wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2017, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/84 "2017-12-30T18:36:29Z")
All of our buses still have the sign “No Smoking. No Food or Drink. Radios Silent.” Nobody would think of smoking on a bus, no bus driver would condemn a travel mug, and who carries a radio anymore?? ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/85 "2017-12-31T05:36:51Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Houston area: > > a) Joe’s Crab Shack, a local seafood restaurant chain, has signs permanently painted on its buildings saying, “Free crabs tomorrow”. A lot of bars have those “Free beer tomorrow” signs. Cute but I like Joes “Promise her everything but give her crabs” signs best. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/86 "2017-12-31T11:01:18Z")
Here’s a wonderful collection of photos of strange and funny signs: > **[Sign Language](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/sign-language/)** > > Interesting collection of strange signs and odd translations from around the world - sent in by our readers. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/87 "2017-12-31T12:55:33Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Sorry. I don’t mean to be critical, but the picture is very tiny, about the size of a postage stamp, and if I try to blow it up, it’s too blurry to make out anything at all. 😕 When I click on it it takes up about a 3rd of my screen. > [@hogarth](#): > > I went with some friends to a place that was advertising “All You Can Eat Fish and Chips”. When we asked for a refill, we were told by the waitress that the management had determined that “all you can eat” means two servings. Well…if that’s all they’ll give you then I guess that’s all you can eat. 😃 Back in the 70’s there was a restaurant in the Wisconsin Dells area that would advertise on rural billboards. It was “3 Brothers Restaurant” but the BB’s showed 4 men. I always wanted to eat there just to ask who the fourth schmuck was, but we never did. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/88 "2017-12-31T13:25:10Z")
“Save up to 15% or more” isn’t quite _completely_ meaningless. It means that 15% is one possible value for the amount of savings. There’s no guarantee that that’s the amount of savings you’ll get, but it’s possible. All of the Aldi store brand products bear a label somewhere on the package that says “No Certified Synthetic Colors”. So, there might be some synthetic colors in there, but they’re not sure enough about it to certify it? **AHunter3** , I don’t get your Jewelry Store one. Is it the incongruity of shoe repairs in the same shop as jewelry, or the fact that all the signs except “Open” are lit? Because neither of those seems particularly remarkable to me. Or is there something else I’m missing? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/89 "2017-12-31T13:45:38Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > **AHunter3** , I don’t get your Jewelry Store one. Is it the incongruity of shoe repairs in the same shop as jewelry, or the fact that all the signs except “Open” are lit? Because neither of those seems particularly remarkable to me. Or is there something else I’m missing? Took me a moment to notice the store’s name is “Johanna’s Jewerly”. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/90 "2017-12-31T16:04:17Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > A nice fridge on “clearance” at Lowes. Not in the fridge section…out in one of the isles near the door. I think it might even had a ding on the side or top. Marked down to only something like $995/$999. What a steal! > > Original price? > > Something like a $1007. Not quite in the same vein because it was about a third off, but a friend and I were in an appliance store and a refrigerator was marked down due to a ‘dent.’ Friend was looking at a ding on the front door and commenting he could live with that for the price. I was by its back side and said, “You’re not looking at the dent.” It had been dropped from a height onto that upper corner which was pretty well smashed in. When we opened the freezer door, the inner plastic shell was cracked in several places and I’d bet the freon tubes were cracked as well, letting all the coolant leak out. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377/91 "2017-12-31T16:30:56Z")
Makes me wonder if the shop added the minor front ding deliberately. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-contradictory-or-other-interesting-business-signs/805377.md?page=4)