# Your Favorite Fictional Weapons? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 21, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921 "2005-01-21T15:45:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Hooleehootoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/eada6e/32.png) [@Hooleehootoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hooleehootoo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/61 "2005-01-22T02:37:00Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > You mean 40 Mega Watts, right? I got light bulbs in my refrigerator that do 40 W. 🙂 This is a quote from _The Terminator_ . ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/62 "2005-01-22T02:41:52Z")
The Masmune. Anything that makes a White Mage a killing machine is automatically cool. The Time ship from the Voyager episode Year of Hell. The hookshot, from The Legend of Zelda. Not so much because it’s useful as a weapon (although it is), but because it’s a multipurpose grabber. Need that thingy over there? Don’t want to get out of your chair? Clank! Shifashifashifashifa… Clunk! 100- foot tall genetically engineered walking kelp with cybernetic enhancements. Admittedly from a story that I wrote, so I might be biased. Taichkomas from Ghost in the Shell. They’re disgustingly adorable! ---
**Author:** ![WortMeWorry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@WortMeWorry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WortMeWorry)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/63 "2005-01-22T03:00:47Z")
A Zinder Nullifier, don’t worry those holes in the reality will eventually go away. ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/64 "2005-01-22T03:39:06Z")
The Master Key/Lighthawk Wings/Lighthawk Sword from Tenchi Muyou! It’s a lightsaber! It’s a personal defense system! It’s the ultimate bladed weapon! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. NI! And maybe the Noisy Cricket, if I need some range… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/65 "2005-01-22T04:41:16Z")
After some thought, may I change to the Doom II BFG? ---
**Author:** ![Hazel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Hazel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazel)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/66 "2005-01-22T06:57:19Z")
_Nothing But Gingerbread Left_ WWII-era SF story. I don’t remember the author. Germany loses war because someone creates the ultimate “can’t get it out of your mind” song, in German. German army fall prey to ditty; becomes too obsessed / distracted to continue fighting. “Left a wife and 17 children…something, something, something…nothing but gingerbread left.” (Have no fear; song has power only in German. Loses something in translation.) ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/67 "2005-01-22T08:34:15Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > A powergun from David Drake’s Hammers Slammers. > > Of course, I’d need someone to follow me around narrating graphic descriptions full of bleak metaphors of my kills. > > If I can upgrade, a Slammers iridium armored fusion powered supertank armed with a 20cm powergun would be nice for the morning commute. Along those lines: BOLOS! From Keith Laumer’s series. 30,000+ mt supertanks, armed with 200cm “Hellbore” cannons (think of briefly opening a portal to the heart of a star, and letting it out the barrel aimed at the enemy) dozens of 20cm Infinite Repeater Plasma (point-defense) Guns, anti-personnel clusters, Missiles (with every kind of warhead you can imagine), and most importantly, with sophisiticated positronic AI brains programmed with the sum total of humanity’s military knowledge, and every battle recorded, and a hard-wired personality core that emphasizes Duty, Honor, and Loyalty. Lightsaber my ass. A BOLO would crush a Star Destroyer like a beer can under a tank’s treads without even looking up from the Sunday crossword. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/68 "2005-01-22T09:20:52Z")
The [13mm “Jackal”](http://www.poseidon.co.jp/5F/jackal/j_1.html) pistol from the anime _Hellsing_, and [Hellboy’s “Samaritan” pistol.](http://store.yahoo.com/artoftoy/sahere.html) Both are good, capable anti-undead weapons. (Albeit ones that can’t be fired by normal humans.) The anti-metahuman bomb from _Kingdom Come._ The “SOL” platform from _Akira_. I’ll always have a soft spot for the laser pistols from Disney’s _The Black Hole_. Ergonomic, double-barreled design, OK sound effects, and they actually fired _beams_—a straight line of light instantly appeared between the gun and the target when the trigger was pulled, and disappeared just as quickly. None of that “fire bolts of energy traveling slower than a baseball” crap. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/69 "2005-01-22T10:47:12Z")
I seem to have posted this in another thread, but what the hell? A board with a nail in it. Second choice: der Happy Stick, forged from a fragment of Thor’s hammer and wielded by the one and only Wulf Sternhammer. A ranged weapon? The Nightmare Gun, from Judge Dredd, which affects the temporal lobes to kill the victim by amplifying any latent fears he or she may possess - the homeless and unkempt Halbert Gumby succumbed to a fear of haircuts: Dredd, of course, had no hidden fears and was the only person immune to it. {How is it that I can remember in detail comics I read twenty years ago and be unable to remember the fruits of five years at university?} ---
**Author:** ![archmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/70 "2005-01-22T12:07:10Z")
I would have to second, **Stormbringer** and it’s twin **Mournblade**. They feed off souls and augment the wielder. **Shieldbreaker** from Saberhagen’s Book of Swords series. Except for that one weakness, which I won’t spoil. Any of the equipment that the Eldar Harlequins wield in Warhammer 40K. **Caladbolg**. Sword from Celtic myth, said to be able to cleave hills in half. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/71 "2005-01-22T12:45:49Z")
I’d like to second the Lazy Gun and add Mieville’s Probability Sword, from _The Scar_ Colourbombs sound good too. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/72 "2005-01-22T14:53:47Z")
The neuronic whip, appearing in many Isaac Asimov novels. Causes no actual harm, but stimulates the nerve endings intensely enough to cause extreme pain or fainting. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/73 "2005-01-22T15:00:48Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > Taichkomas from Ghost in the Shell. They’re disgustingly adorable! I thought those were Fuchikoma. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/74 "2005-01-22T15:10:40Z")
Another vote for the Tnuctipun Soft Weapon, as described by Larry Niven. Of course, I’D want the proper code phrases, the ones Chuft-Captain didn’t have. Failing that, I’d settle for the BFG from Doom. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/75 "2005-01-22T15:53:18Z")
Illegal Aliens, Phil Foglio: The STOP THAT cannon. ---
**Author:** ![Ninja\_Pizza\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f04885/32.png) [@Ninja\_Pizza\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ninja_Pizza_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/76 "2005-01-22T18:17:11Z")
SheVa, from John Ringo’s books. Designed to take out enemy landers at relatively short range. It ain’t a Bolo, but it’s still nice. Height: 170 ft. ground to top of turret Treads: four Tread height: 27 ft. Tread width, individual tread: 150 ft. Weight of individual tread: 37 tons Total vehicle width: 385 ft. Total vehicle length: 468 ft. Gun length: 200 ft. including barrel and breech Gun bore: 16" Round weight: 16 tons, projectile, cartridge and propellant. Cartridge length: 14.7 ft. Cartridge diameter: 27 inches Reactors: 4 Johannes/Cummings pebble-bed uranium/helium Drive motors: 48 Total power: 12,000 horsepower Unloaded weight: 7,000 tons approximate Standard round: a saboted 8" x 72" DU penetrator with a 10 KT antimatter charge Also fires sensor munitions and larger antimatter area effect weapons. Most interesting personal weapon: The Lewitt’s whistling. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/77 "2005-01-22T18:36:50Z")
I like the **Saint Of Killers** ’ revolvers from _Preacher._ Made out of an angel’s sword, they never jam, never run out of bullets or require reloading, every wound is always fatal and they can … kill God ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/78 "2005-01-22T19:26:57Z")
> [@Hazel](#): > > _Nothing But Gingerbread Left_ > > WWII-era SF story. I don’t remember the author. Germany loses war because someone creates the ultimate “can’t get it out of your mind” song, in German. German army fall prey to ditty; becomes too obsessed / distracted to continue fighting. “Left a wife and 17 children…something, something, something…nothing but gingerbread left.” (Have no fear; song has power only in German. Loses something in translation.) **Left!** **Left!** Left, right, **left!** **Left** a wife And **sev** enteen children In **star** ving condition With **no** thing but gingerbread **Left!** **Left!** Left, right, **left!** Repeat until institutionalized. I don’t know if the pun on “left” used here would even work in German . . . > [@Case Sensitive](#): > > {How is it that I can remember in detail comics I read twenty years ago and be unable to remember the fruits of five years at university?} Something to do with level of interest, perhaps? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/79 "2005-01-23T14:20:22Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > “Deadeye Dick”, but that’s not a fictional weapon. The way it works in the novel is very much fictional, as far as I know. ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921/80 "2005-01-26T01:57:52Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > I thought those were Fuchikoma. Well, it sounds like Tachikoma to me, but then again I don’t speak Japanese and I have no idea how good or bad the dubbing is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fictional-weapons/285921.md?page=5)