# Your favorite Fortune Cookie Fortunes

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fortune-cookie-fortunes/423116>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 18, 2007, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fortune-cookie-fortunes/423116 "2007-10-18T00:23:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2008, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fortune-cookie-fortunes/423116/41 "2008-04-09T18:02:40Z")

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I have one taped to my monitor at work: 🙂 You will spend old age in comfort and material wealth. 🙂

Yes, the smilies are part of the fortune.

Mmmm, zombie cookie thread.

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**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2008, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fortune-cookie-fortunes/423116/42 "2008-04-09T18:04:56Z")

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New business opportunities await you

(in bed)

Which is funny enough in and of itself. But when it’s your 75-year-old grandmother (well, Typo’s grandmother) who gets that cookie, it’s an occasion for much hilarity.

“Grandma!! We didn’t know you were into _that_ kind of work!!!”.

She howled right along with the rest of us.

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**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fortune-cookie-fortunes/423116/43 "2008-04-09T18:48:39Z")

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Not funny, but apposite: while writing my PhD thesis at the end of a long and tortuous grad school career, “Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time”.

JRB

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**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fortune-cookie-fortunes/423116/44 "2008-04-09T19:43:47Z")

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My 84 year old neighbor got a fortune, with an extra, hand-written note on the back “Fuck you yankee dog” She got her meal free.

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**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2008, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fortune-cookie-fortunes/423116/45 "2008-04-09T20:02:28Z")

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[QUOTE=brujaja]  
Wow! That is too much! Did you select the cookie from a plate?  
[/QUOTE]

Well, the cookies were brought out with the check. I mean, I knew that I was going to be offered a job- that was the whole point of the lunch- but getting that fortune was kind of mind-blowing.

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**Author:** ![pantheon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@pantheon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantheon)\
**Post date:** [April 9, 2008, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-fortune-cookie-fortunes/423116/46 "2008-04-09T20:04:45Z")

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“There is a difference between between being alone and being lonely.”

My favorite “…in bed.” ever. I carry it yet in my wallet.

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