Your favorite, funny cat stories here

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Ahh, I love cats.

When I was growing up we had a cat named Porsha. She was a really wild Siamese cat. Lots of fun. Her favorite human food was spagetti which she would slurp up strand by strand.

Anyway, one day I was in the den of our house reading and heard Porsh running down the hall. I looked up just in time to see Porsh launch herself up onto the pool table. Then she lanched herself at the sliding glass door which had just been washed and happened to be shut. Poor Porsha slammed right into the glass. I ran over to her and she had basically knocked herself out. She came too pretty quickly. A trip to the vet ensued and, thankfully, she was alright. After that she was really wary in the den.

Then there is Dagny. My lovely Dagny whom I really miss[#1]. Anyway, I got Dag when she was a kitten. She was my best bud and when I was at home she was always near me, usually on my lap.

Dag got pregnant. Towards the end of her term I made up a box for her to give birth in. Dagny didn’t like that idea. One fine Monday morning at about 5:45 AM I woke to find Dagny under the covers of my bed curled up against my leg. Now, Dagny always slept on my bed but she never got under the covers. Being tired I gently put Dagny on the floor and went back to sleep. About 10 minutes later she was back under the covers. I turned on the light and pulled back the covers to find that Dagny had started to give birth.

That really woke me up. I took Dagny gently to her box which was very plush. Dagny got up and went straight to my bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. As usually happens in cat - human relations, the cat won. I got a bunch of towels and covered my bed with them. Dagny gave birth to her litter on my bed. Four tiny perfect cats.

In the morning I had to go to work and left the tired and rather shocked Dagny. When I got home Dagny was on the bed nursing the kittens. By this time I figured out that my bed was now Dagnys, at least for a while. So I brought in the food and water bowl and spent most of the night petting my Dag. When it came time to crash I made up the couch so I could sleep.

Wait for it…I went to sleep at about 10:30. At about 11:15 I woke to find that Dagny had taken all the kittens from the bed and transfered them to the couch. Since I am not a total dumbass I figured out what to do pretty quick. I took Dag and her kittens back to the bed. And then I slept on the floor next to the bed for a couple weeks. (Note, yeah I know Dagny had me whipped) (Link to picks of Dag and two of her litter here)

Slee

#1. I had a fire in my apartment and Dagny disappeared. She did not die in the fire but I never found her. I checked for months but she never turned up. I hope Dag found a good home.

22

Whilst living in an apartment, my cat (Martha) fell pregnant. We decided that the kittens could NOT be kept in the apartment and, after they were weaned, would have to go to other good homes.

One afternoon, I was sitting on the end of the sofa reading the paper and the bulb in the lamp begins to flicker. I tap the bulb and tighten it and the flickering stops; but starts again a few moments later. I think that those kitties running around behind the sofa probably knocked loose the plug. I pull back the sofa and find one of the kitties, rigid as a board, with it’s teeth firmly implanted in the cord of the lamp.
I grab the kitten and get a mighty shock myself!
THEN, I remember that I should unplug the lamp first.
I do so and pick up the still-rigid kitten with the wire still firmly held 'tween it’s teeth.
I pry apart it’s jaws and (as God as my witness, I SWEAR this is true) give CPR to the kitty; complete with chect compressions and respirations.
After about 30 seconds, kitty starts to wriggle a little and make little noises.
It had some trouble walking for the next few hours, so I kept it under a watchful eye. It had also fogotten how to eat and drink (kept plunging it’s face into the milk-saucer and blowing bubbles, only to jerk it’s head back when it tried to breathe IN with it’s face in the same position.)
I kept that cat for a few years. I’m sure that it suffered some “brain-fry” because nothing fazed it. It never wanted to play much and it’s tail ALWAYS pointed straight up and the fur stuck straight out from it. Kind of like it was doing an impression of a pine tree.

I named it “Watt”.