# Your favorite funny line from a movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2000, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764 "2000-09-02T07:04:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/41 "2000-09-25T15:08:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by absoul \* > > “Be a daisy if you do.” \*\* “Are we cross? Why if we weren’t friends, I just don’t think I could bear it. (pulls out guns) There. (puts guns on the table) Now we can be friends . . .” This movie rocks. Even the 100th time. Unfortunately, Tombstone looks nothing like what it does in the movie . . . Trip ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/42 "2000-09-25T15:26:50Z")
Leia: I love you. Han Solo: I know. ---
**Author:** ![SoMoMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@SoMoMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoMoMom)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/43 "2000-09-25T15:43:42Z")
Pulp Fiction: That’s more information than I needed. Holy Grail: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. I mean, if I went around sayin’ I was an empereror just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me they’d put me away! Well you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! The Jerk: I was born a poor black child. I’m SOMEBODY now! (Did I get those right? It’s been forever since I saw The Jerk.) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Infidel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/73ab20/32.png) [@El\_Infidel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Infidel)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/44 "2000-09-25T16:40:08Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by JoeyHemlock \* \*\*“The new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity – your name in print – that makes people. Things are going to start happening to me now.” hmmm, is it from the jerk? ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/45 "2000-09-25T16:46:04Z")
Blessed are the cheesemakers? ---
**Author:** ![Peta\_Tzunami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b487fb/32.png) [@Peta\_Tzunami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peta_Tzunami)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/46 "2000-09-25T17:18:18Z")
Cyclops: How do I know its really you? Wolverine: You’re an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Kupek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90db22/32.png) [@Kupek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kupek)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/47 "2000-09-25T17:58:25Z")
**Peta** : Sorry, but I have to correct you: You’re a _dick_. That fact that they could never come close to saying anyting like that in the CC approved comics was what made me laugh my ass off. **Tripler** : Tombstone has wonderful one-liners: [Doc has a gun on a guy] Guy: It’s the drunk piano player. You’re so drunk you’re probably seeing double! Doc: [pulls out another gun] I have two guns, one for the both of you. …and, after the shootout where Wyatt just charges across a river, Friend: Where’s Wyatt? Doc: Over there, walking on water. … and this one isn’t exactly funny, but I have to share it: Friend: Doc, you oughta be in bed, what the hell you doing this for anyway? Doc: Wyatt Earp is my friend. Friend: Hell, I got lots of friends. Doc: I don’t. Anyone see a really cheesy Christian Slater movie Cuffs? (Or was it Kuffs?) At one point him and his partner have their guns on four guys. Guy: Hey, there’s four of us and two of them! [Slater shoots one of them] Slater: Now we know you can add, and we can subtract. **agisofia** : “Boring conversation anyway–Luke we’re going to have company!” I love that little scene. Makes me laugh every time. **quasar** : Damn good line, if not funny. Didya know that Ford ad-libbed that one? Han: How we doing? Luke: Same as always. Han: That bad, huh? Darth Vader: Apology accepted, Captain Needa. (Who deadpans better than a Sith Lord?) ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/48 "2000-09-25T18:09:54Z")
‘The Producers’ is probably my favorite movie and I can’t even begin to think of all the great lines, but I always get a kick out of Ula the secretary and the woman at the apartment house. “I’m not a madam. I’m the concierge. My husband was the concierge, but he’s dead. Now I’m the concierge.” or “But you won’t find him there. He’s on the roof. With the boids. Doity, stinking, lice-ridden boids.” Max: “Yes, Prince Mishkin.” ‘Army of Darkness’ and ‘Princess Bride’ are quoted in my house ALL the time. “You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it does.” or “Stop that rhyming. I mean it.” “Anybody want a peanut?” ‘Ghostbusters’ is non-stop funny. There’s just too many to name. Same thing is true for ‘Harold and Maude.’ It is hilarious, touching, and has the best soundtrack ever. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/49 "2000-09-25T19:59:45Z")
From “Ace Ventura” “Mind if I asssssss you some questions?” That movie makes me cry its so funny. Also, am I the only one who laughed until she cried at the Turette’s Syndrome date in “Duece Bigelow”? My husband saw previews of the movie and said “you will not ever rent it while I’m living” but I did anyway and I caught him laughing all the way through it. Not a funny movie all the way through, but when it was funny, boy was it funny! ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/50 "2000-09-25T20:10:19Z")
IS THIS SOMETHING YOU CAN SHARE WITH THE REST OF US AMAZING LARRY? I never saw the brilliance of this line as a kid, but I watched this movie again recently and this line had me laughing out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/51 "2000-09-25T20:22:44Z")
“You can’t fight here, this is the war room!”–_Dr. Strangeglove_ I also loved the irony of the firefight in front of the SAC sign (“Peace Is Our Profession”) in that movie. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/52 "2000-09-25T20:25:54Z")
re: The Amazing Larry quote Isn’t that from a Bill Murphy movie? It rings a bell but obviously not loud enough for me to remember the movie! ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/53 "2000-09-25T21:15:09Z")
Nope- Guess again. ---
**Author:** ![Oicu812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f475e1/32.png) [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/54 "2000-09-25T21:53:44Z")
Steve Martin, playing Ruprecht the Monkey Boy, in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: At the dinner table… “Pardon me, may I go to the bathroom?”, then proceeds into a 30 second facial gesture, ending with a satisfied smile, and says “Thank You”… O * * * vidi vici veni ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/55 "2000-09-26T02:04:33Z")
“if i had a tumor, i’d name it marla.” mallrats: ts: eww, she called you callow in here. brodie: you said that like it’s bad. ts: well it means frightened and weak-willed. brodie: that was the only part of the letter i thought was completmentary… jay: [holding a nudie mag] dude, this looks like your mom. silent bob: [nods, as if to say, “your right”] ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/56 "2000-09-26T07:26:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gunslinger \* > \*\*I also loved the irony of the firefight in front of the SAC sign (“Peace Is Our Profession”) in that movie. \*\* I used to be in SAC. We had a saying: > [@](#): > > “ **Peace Is Our Profession.** War Is Just A Hobby!” Thanks for reminding me ~~Baloo –_SAC-trained killer_ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/57 "2000-10-03T18:24:34Z")
In _Bang_ ( [http://www.jetifilms.com/jetifilms004.htm](http://www.jetifilms.com/jetifilms004.htm) ), an independent film by New Orleans filmmaker King Jeff, a hood threatens a henchman: “I’ll cut off your nose and shove up the mouth of your dick!” I love that line! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/58 "2000-10-03T20:16:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Turpentine \* > \*\*IS THIS SOMETHING YOU CAN SHARE WITH THE REST OF US AMAZING LARRY? > > pee wee’s big adventure I believe > > I never saw the brilliance of this line as a kid, but I watched this movie again recently and this line had me laughing out loud. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/59 "2000-10-03T20:19:30Z")
And also from Pee Wee There’s no basement in the Alamo! Speck! ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764/60 "2000-10-03T20:48:42Z")
“If I want a kiss I’ll call your mother.” -Chris Farley, Tommy Boy “You just shot Marvin in the face!” -Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction “Cyrus, are you crazy?” “According to my last psych evaluation…yes.” -John Malkovich, Con Air “Nice hooters.” -Jim Carrey, Dumb and Dumber [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-funny-line-from-a-movie/31764.md?page=4)