# your favorite historical event that didn't really happen **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 1, 2019, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369 "2019-07-01T21:59:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/61 "2019-07-03T01:37:17Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Catherine the Great and the horse. > > Chuck Barris’ career as a CIA assassin. (I do not for one moment believe his story is true, but man, I wish it were. The world would but a [del]better[/del] more entertaining place if such things happened.) If we are going add fake CIA agents there is also martial artist Frank Dux who lied about working for the CIA and lied about his martial arts career. The Jean Claude van Damme movie _Bloodsport_ was allegedly about Dux’s martial arts career but was exposed as a hoax by _Black Belt_ magazine. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank\_Dux](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Dux) ---
**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/62 "2019-07-03T01:42:50Z")
There is no record of Marie Antoinette having ever said “Let them eat cake.” Or PT Barnum saying “There is a sucker born every minute.” Or Andrew Jackson saying “John Marshall has made his decision, now let him enforce it!” Or Voltaire saying "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. " Or Abraham Lincoln saying "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. " ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/63 "2019-07-03T02:48:19Z")
It’s a democracy! You only have to fool some of the people some of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/64 "2019-07-03T03:01:57Z")
Jesus rising from the dead. ---
**Author:** ![eburacum45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eburacum45/32/8690_2.png) [@eburacum45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eburacum45)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/65 "2019-07-03T06:56:34Z")
The Roswell UFO crash. The Kecksburg UFO crash. ---
**Author:** ![eburacum45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eburacum45/32/8690_2.png) [@eburacum45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eburacum45)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/66 "2019-07-03T07:04:23Z")
Nero didn’t fiddle while Rome burned. Caligula didn’t make a horse a consul. Henry VIII didn’t throw chicken legs over his shoulder. An American sub didn’t capture the Enigma machine. And for that matter, Alan Turing didn’t invent the computer. ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/67 "2019-07-03T08:51:29Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > It’s a shame I’m only allowed one. Otherwise I would have suggested the [Angels of Mons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angels_of_Mons) as well. Of course God was on Our Side. It’s a great story. Another First World War one which I like: the widespread rumours in Britain, in the first weeks of the war, that people had seen Russian troops in transit through Great Britain – envisaged as hastily sent over, to help to stop the German advance in the west: they were obviously Russian, because people had noticed that “they had snow on their boots” (during a hot summer !). Presumably any rumour-mongers who took any thought about the matter, concluded that that sort of thing must work differently in and a propos Russia. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/68 "2019-07-03T09:00:58Z")
> [@eburacum45](#): > > Nero didn’t fiddle while Rome burned. The Spanish version has him playing a hand harp (yes, I know he didn’t do that either); I’ve long wondered when and how did y’all come up with a violin, or if “fiddle” used to mean “play a string instrument” and language slide led to the confusion. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/69 "2019-07-03T13:30:53Z")
[Robert Peary reaching the North Pole](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Peary#Controversy) looks very shaky nowadays. j ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/70 "2019-07-03T13:43:10Z")
[Catherine of Russia’s cause of death](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/unbridled-lust/) And Paul is dead. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/71 "2019-07-03T18:30:45Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > [Robert Peary reaching the North Pole](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Peary#Controversy) looks very shaky nowadays. > > j Yeah, in fact it’s pretty much a hoax. Oddly Frederick Cook might have actually reached it. > **[North Pole](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Pole#Dispute_over_who_reached_the_Pole_first)** > > .mw-parser-output .geo-default,.mw-parser-output .geo-dms,.mw-parser-output .geo-dec{display:inline}.mw-parser-output .geo-nondefault,.mw-parser-output .geo-multi-punct,.mw-parser-output .geo-inline-hidden{display:none}.mw-parser-output .longitude,.mw-parser-output .latitude{white-space:nowrap}90°N 0°E / 90°N 0°E / 90; 0 > The North Pole, also known as the Geographic North Pole, Terrestrial North Pole or 90th Parallel North, is the point in the Northern Hemisphere where the Earth's axis of ro... ---
**Author:** ![pmwgreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@pmwgreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pmwgreen)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/72 "2019-07-03T18:32:55Z")
Bishop Usher adding up the begats. Actually I like the closer to true account that he decided the Earth was created on the autumnal equinox exactly 4000 years before the birth of Christ. It just seems like a best attempt to get the Bible in line with science at the time. For example, he realized the calendar was off, hence the 4BC for Christ’s birth. Also, Alexander wept when he saw he had no more lands to conquer (after crossing India, maybe). And St. Francis saying “Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.” Probably Hercules never cleaned the stables of Augeas, either. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/73 "2019-07-03T18:51:07Z")
Canada had nothing to do with burning down the White House despite how desperately Canadians try to believe it, even after Trump also echoed it. The UK and France weren’t somehow the world leaders in slavery abolition despite how desperately they want you to believe it, slavery ended in the United States before it did so in the British and French Empires. I just like bizarre historical propaganda people in other countries still believe despite having no factual basis, since it means the US isn’t the only one who does it. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/74 "2019-07-03T19:11:48Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > My Fave is the story of Alfred the great and the Burned cakes. > Not impossible but very likely a myth. > [King Alfred and the Cakes](https://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/HistoryofEngland/King-Alfred-the-Cakes/) From your link: > [@](#): > > One of the best known stories in English history is that of King Alfred and the cakes. Children are taught the story where Alfred is on the run from the Vikings, taking refuge in the home of a peasant woman. She asks him to watch her cakes – small loaves of bread – baking by the fire, but distracted by his problems, he lets the cakes burn and is roundly scolded by the woman. That’s IT? That’s the whole story? And the ironic thing is that the story is preceded by an epigram attributed to Kipling. _“If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.”_ WTF? What’s historically notable about that? I feel…cheated. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2019, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/75 "2019-07-03T23:33:09Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > WTF? What’s historically notable about that? I feel…cheated. I think it’s more the humorous image of THE KING getting scolded by an old peasant woman who has no clue who he is. Sort of like the scene in the Monty Python movie. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2019, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/76 "2019-07-04T03:29:31Z")
> [@eburacum45](#): > > The Roswell UFO crash. > The Kecksburg UFO crash. No love for [Pine Bush](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pine_Bush,_New_York)? They’re really trying to [promote themselves](https://www.recordonline.com/article/20130426/ENTERTAIN/304260342) on the UFO circuit. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2019, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/77 "2019-07-04T03:36:10Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > [Robert Peary reaching the North Pole](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Peary#Controversy) looks very shaky nowadays. > [@DrDeth](#): > > Yeah, in fact it’s pretty much a hoax. > > Oddly Frederick Cook might have actually reached it. > > [North Pole - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Pole#Dispute_over_who_reached_the_Pole_first) It’s interesting that if the disputed claims are false, then Roald Amundsen is the first person to reach both poles. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2019, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/78 "2019-07-04T03:39:05Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I also came in to mention the Bowling Green Massacre. So did I. I’m anticipating a certain orange menace stating that tomorrow’s “military parade” is the highest-attended event ever, despite massive evidence to the contrary. Last I heard, Rosie Ruiz still insists that she won the Boston Marathon ca. 1980. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2019, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/79 "2019-07-04T03:51:20Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > It’s interesting that if the disputed claims are false, then Roald Amundsen is the first person to reach both poles. By airship, in the case of the North Pole. He didn’t set foot there. If the disputed claims are false, the first expedition to actually set foot at the North Pole was a Soviet expedition by air in 1948, and the first trip by land (snomobile) wasn’t until 1968. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2019, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369/80 "2019-07-04T04:04:46Z")
Chris Kyle didn’t snipe looters from the roof of the Superdome in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Nor did he punch Jesse Ventura in the face. Nor did he kill two would-be carjackers (nor did the police let him go at the urging of the Department of Defense). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-historical-event-that-didnt-really-happen/836369.md?page=5)