# Your favorite military experience story **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 8, 2008, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528 "2008-05-08T04:01:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/61 "2008-05-12T23:05:10Z")
Since the thread’s still going, how about another one? This one doesn’t have so many photos on my blog, so I’ll quote the whole story on the board. If you want to see it with the photo, go [here](http://rockhoppersdailygrind.blogspot.com/2007/06/torpedo.html). > [@](#): > > A co-worker’s wife worked for the Undersea Warfare Center on a small torpedo retriever. The boat was used to launch and retrieve test torpedoes. It was a small, fast boat, less than 40’ long, with powerful outboard motors. > > The boat usually carried a torpedo out to a practice area, launched it, and waited. A submarine generally monitored the event, and acted as a target. Needless to say, the torpedoes weren’t loaded with explosives, they would just drive to the sub at full speed, hit it, and bounce off. > > The test torpedo was designed to deactivate after hitting the sub, so it would just float and send out a beeping signal. At that point, the small torpedo retriever would pick up the spent torpedo, and take it back to the lab for repair and refueling. > > One day they were testing a new torpedo, a very “smart” torpedo, and the deactivation system didn’t work correctly. The torpedo stopped after hitting the sub, and the sub drove away, but when the torpedo retriever motored up to the torpedo, the torpedo re-activated, and acquired the retriever boat as a target. > > Even though the torpedo had no explosive charge, it was still dangerous to a small boat, and could easily sink the boat if it hit it at high speed. Thinking quickly, the crew headed off at full throttle, which was just a little bit faster than the torpedo. When they turned, the torpedo cut across the angle, and gained on them. Their radio was either not powerful enough to reach their base, or nobody was listening, so they were on their own. > > They knew that the torpedo would eventually run out of fuel, but weren’t sure that they had more fuel than the torpedo, especially since they had to run at full throttle. Adding to their misery, the wind came up, and the sea became rough. Can you say “The tiny ship was tossed?” Shutting the engines off, they drifted on the sea, watching. The torpedo stopped, and began circling, looking for them. Eventually it pointed straight at them, and dove for an attack. Hitting the throttle, the little boat scampered away, just in time. > > As it turned out, they played this cat and mouse game for over 6 hours. The torpedo ran out of gas before they did, and they still had enough gas to limp into port, 6 hours late. The crew was doubly insulted: nobody had missed them(!) and the torpedo engineers were elated at the torpedo’s behavior, considering this the best test of all. The only positive result for the crew was a more powerful radio for the boat, and assurances that the base station would be manned in the future. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/62 "2008-05-13T03:23:29Z")
[QUOTE=Danalan] Since the thread’s still going, how about another one? This one doesn’t have so many photos on my blog, so I’ll quote the whole story on the board. If you want to see it with the photo, go [here](http://rockhoppersdailygrind.blogspot.com/2007/06/torpedo.html). [/QUOTE] Nitpick… Exercise torpedoes are designed to shut down before hitting their target. You do not want a 1-2 ton torpedo ramming a submarine at full speed. I also have a hard time believing the time span of this story, but I’ll attribute that to normal sea story embellishment. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/63 "2008-05-13T03:33:36Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] In the Phillipines, sailors would pay to have a small incision made in their scrotums, into which a BB-size ball of gold was placed, then be sutured up. I read somewhere that John McCain carries this extra ballast. [/QUOTE] The ball isn’t placed in the scrotum, but in a place that’s more effective “for her pleasure”. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/64 "2008-05-13T03:41:19Z")
[QUOTE=Terminus Est] The ball isn’t placed in the scrotum, but in a place that’s more effective “for her pleasure”. [/QUOTE] Not a bad idea, I suppose, and probably common in the piercing community where such considerations are prevalent, but 7th Fleet SOP was nutsack stowage. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/65 "2008-05-13T04:48:17Z")
[QUOTE=robby] Nitpick… Exercise torpedoes are designed to shut down before hitting their target. You do not want a 1-2 ton torpedo ramming a submarine at full speed. I also have a hard time believing the time span of this story, but I’ll attribute that to normal sea story embellishment. 😉 [/QUOTE] I wondered at that, too. Probably it did that, then reactivated after the sub left. I was going to warn about the possibility of embellishment, but “military experience story” pretty much guarantees, shall we say, “editing factual content for narrative value”. Here’s one I haven’t posted elsewhere, yet. Working Medical Repair in San Diego meant supporting not only the huge Balboa Naval Hospital, but also all of the ships that pulled into port, and outlying clinics. When we got a call from a remote site, we usually sent two guys – both a senior and a junior technician. It is always good to have two people on hand when working on 150,000 volt x-ray equipment, and the junior tech would eventually be a senior tech – each repair was a learning experience. This explains why Al and Dave were both sent to the USS Enterprise to repair the flouroscopy unit. The problem turned out to be much more complex than they thought, and they ended up working through lunch. One of the corpsmen on board took them up to the chow hall, eventually, and got them some food. They were able to find their own way back to the x-ray room, and got back to troubleshooting. They noticed a lot of muffled activity, mainly obscure intercom calls, but didn’t think anything about it, and continued troubleshooting. Finally, long after 5:00pm, they had the x-ray unit fixed, packed up their tools, and went to leave. Stepping out on deck, they noticed something – the pier was gone. All that activity? That was the carrier getting underway. They were stuck onboard, ostensibly stowaways, until the next morning, when a launch took them back to shore. Nobody could believe that they had missed all the announcements and activity of a ship getting underway, but they were deep in the bowels of medical, in an essentially sound-proofed room, working. Much consternation from the higher-ups, on both sides, but the weren’t punished for what was, after all, an honest mistake. Al said the scariest part was when the Senior chief told him “I guess you’re going to have to go on the WestPac with us. We’ll try and get you a flight out from Singapore in a few months”. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/66 "2008-05-13T04:53:57Z")
[QUOTE=robby] Nitpick… Exercise torpedoes are designed to shut down before hitting their target. You do not want a 1-2 ton torpedo ramming a submarine at full speed. I also have a hard time believing the time span of this story, but I’ll attribute that to normal sea story embellishment. 😉 [/QUOTE] **Robby** I know you know the difference between a fairy tail and a sea story. A fairy tail starts off with “Once upon a time” A sea story starts off with “Now I swear this is true” ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/67 "2008-05-13T13:17:25Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] **Robby** I know you know the difference between a fairy tail and a sea story. A fairy tail starts off with “Once upon a time” A sea story starts off with “Now I swear this is true” [/QUOTE] Yeah, I know… What the heck was I thinking in nitpicking a sea story? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/68 "2008-05-13T18:47:48Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] Not a bad idea, I suppose, and probably common in the piercing community where such considerations are prevalent, but 7th Fleet SOP was nutsack stowage. [/QUOTE] Actually, I was commenting on the alleged reasoning in certain segments of the Filipino community, including sailors, where this practice is common. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/69 "2008-05-13T19:13:30Z")
[QUOTE=Terminus Est] Actually, I was commenting on the alleged reasoning in certain segments of the Filipino community, including sailors, where this practice is common. [/QUOTE] I suspect it’s so you can ‘casually’ bring up in conversation: “I’ve got three balls”. You can prove it, of course, which means that you get someones hand on your balls. If you can’t get some action at that point, you’ve got a real problem with closing the deal. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528/70 "2008-05-14T02:53:08Z")
During Basic Training my bunkmate and I were on Sick Parade. They had this rule that you had to be in garrison (office) dress when you came there, but had to change back into combats before re-joining your unit. There we were, changing, half in one uniform, half in the other- no boots, hair a mess when, “General on the floor!” Ahh yes, meeting my first general while in this state of dress/undress. At least in the class later he actually singled us out by name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-military-experience-story/448528.md?page=3)