# Your favorite/most useful aphorisms **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 2, 2016, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322 "2016-06-02T16:18:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/41 "2016-06-03T03:14:38Z")
Your worst embarrassment is only someone else’s momentary amusement. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/42 "2016-06-03T03:17:28Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > lmao, but not quite the same. Once, when I was a substitute teacher and the intercom was unintelligible I was able to use the "blessed are the cheesemakers " line. Half the kids got it and died laughing, the other half was baffled. 🆒 poor kids. Yes, not an aphorism of course. It was just my train of thought after the corruption of “the meek shall inherit the earth”. Although, I guess if you’re a cheesemaker you might hope it catches on… ---
**Author:** ![May\_20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@May\_20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/May_20)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/43 "2016-06-03T03:50:14Z")
“If you don’t ask, they can’t say yes.” It reminds me to be more assertive about what I want/need in various situations. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/44 "2016-06-03T04:49:14Z")
We can do it fast, we can do it good, we can do it cheap. Pick two. ---
**Author:** ![SacFly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SacFly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SacFly)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/45 "2016-06-03T04:52:03Z")
Don’t leave fish to find fish. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/46 "2016-06-03T06:27:10Z")
Everything in moderation, including moderation Uhmmm Ass, Cash, or Grass… nobody rides for free ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/47 "2016-06-03T06:28:05Z")
> [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](#): > > Mine is “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.” I use it often; it has become past of my personal philosophy. I’ve said it enough times at work that my cow orkers have taken it on: one or another will comment that we have entered singing pig territory, and others will make eye contact and simply say “pig.” > > What are some of yours? PS I got curious while writing this, thinking that this sounded like Will Rogers, so I looked it up and it’s from Time Enough for Love. Makes the sense, it does. Wikipedia tells me that Time Enough for Love was published in 1973; but I remember seeing this expression (or a variant) in the mid-late-1960s: “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn’t work, and it just annoys the pig.” I wonder how many people actually use that adage correctly. I seem to recall that I never understood exactly what it was supposed to mean (I thought it was just some silly semi-nonsense saying) until many many years later, when I suddenly discovered that there were certain things that I myself just couldn’t learn, and after many attempts by many people over many years to 'splain me, I just found it annoying when people kept trying. It suddenly struck me one day, that I myself was the pig in that expression. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/48 "2016-06-03T07:00:17Z")
An oldie, but a goodie: Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/49 "2016-06-03T10:11:56Z")
My favourit translates as follows: If you’re an idiot, you’ll have to suffer. In Afrikaans, it’s “As jy dom is, moet jy kak” which more literally translates as “If you’re dumb, you must shit (yourself)” I find frequent use for it when people I know injure themselves doing stupid things, often involving alcohol, wheels and/or fire. Aslo, a suitable aphorism for the hungover. I also occasionally mutter it under my breath when one of the sprogs does something _truly_ dumb and hurts themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/50 "2016-06-03T12:37:33Z")
[QUOTE=Grace Hopper] It is easier to apologize than to get permission. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=My Mother] Someone has to be the grown-up. [/QUOTE] Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/51 "2016-06-03T12:42:34Z")
It is better to be single and wishing that you were married, than to be married and wishing that you were single. “Regrets for things that you have done can be tempered with time, but regrets for things that you did not do are inconsolable.” (quote by someone I can’t remember) ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/52 "2016-06-03T16:51:33Z")
Fun thread, fellow Dopers. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/53 "2016-06-03T17:08:50Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > “That which does not kill me only makes me more irritable.” > [@Colibri](#): > > That which does not kill me just postpones the inevitable. That which doesn’t kill me only makes me whinier. > [@pool](#): > > Ass, Cash, or Grass… nobody rides for free Saw this once on a bumper sticker, as “Ass, Gas, or Grass…nobody” etc. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/54 "2016-06-03T18:27:47Z")
“No, it’s not perfect, but better is better.” (Upon buying or risking foolishly,) “Ah, well, I’ve spent that much on dumber shit.” ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/55 "2016-06-03T19:05:46Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > “No, it’s not perfect, but better is better.” The perfect is the enemy of the good. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/56 "2016-06-03T19:23:08Z")
Just for general use: “Who ordered that?” Supposed to have been said by Fermi/Gell-Man/some other nuclear physicist when another sub-atomic particle they hadn’t been expecting showed up. I use it as a general "now what kind of s\*\*\* is happening. For politics (especially these days) I try to remember that "The Enemy of my Enemy is my enemies enemy. No more. No Less. (pity politicians often can’t figure that out). ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/57 "2016-06-03T19:47:36Z")
Experience is what you have right after you need it. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/58 "2016-06-03T21:09:34Z")
My go to for these threads: Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die. People want the reward, they just don’t want to do the hard stuff to get it. (Maybe the third time I’ve posted this?) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2016, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/59 "2016-06-04T10:49:24Z")
Everyone wants change, but no one wants to change. mmm ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2016, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/60 "2016-06-04T11:18:43Z")
For a student’s first flying lesson: “The airplane knows more about flying than you do… my job is teaching you to listen to it.” For my kids: “Failure is mostly an orphan… your first step toward success is becoming its father.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322.md?page=4)