# Your favorite/most useful aphorisms **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 2, 2016, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322 "2016-06-02T16:18:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/81 "2016-06-06T14:00:19Z")
The early worm gets the shaft. Never trust a man who says “trust me.” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/82 "2016-06-06T14:28:33Z")
When you sit down at the poker table and cannot immediately spot the sucker, it’s you. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/83 "2016-06-06T14:47:43Z")
These are three that I frequently recall: _Better to light a single candle than curse the darkness._ Even little improvements are improvements. _Your brain is lying to you._ Used whenever I’m in a depressive slump. …and I’ve forgotten the third I had in mind when I started this post. Maybe it should be _Write things down, ADD-boy, 'cuz your memory is Swiss cheese anymore._ ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/84 "2016-06-06T15:47:09Z")
> [@bibliophage](#): > > The early worm gets the shaft. I also like just the simple reversal, _The early worm gets the bird._ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/85 "2016-06-06T16:37:56Z")
One day at work I had an extremely bad 15 minutes. When things got straightened ouy, a customer said “Looks like you’re having a bad day.” Without knowing what I was going to say, I responded “I had a bad moment. I don’t let bad moments become bad days.” The customer loved it, and I’ve used it ever since. ---
**Author:** ![RadicalPi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/radicalpi/32/9806_2.png) [@RadicalPi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadicalPi)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/86 "2016-06-06T17:58:36Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Your worst embarrassment is only someone else’s momentary amusement. You may not have gone to the same high school as me. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/87 "2016-06-06T18:18:28Z")
> [@BrassyPhrase](#): > > I heard it from my uncle ‘Never wrestle a pig. You’ll get dirty, and the pig likes it.’ Sorta related: Don’t wrestle a pig. Even if you win, you end up with shit on you. Sticking with pigs (or some say squirrels): Even a blind pig finds an acorn every once in a while. And, the one I use most often: It is a poor craftsman who blames his tools. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/88 "2016-06-06T18:23:47Z")
from my dad, a play on an old aphorism, that I have found very useful at work to not waste too much time on useless projects: “Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.” ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/89 "2016-06-06T19:40:49Z")
“Eat right, exercise, still die.” I’m still not sure if this is meant to be encouraging or discouraging for people trying to improve their health with diet and exercise. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/90 "2016-06-06T20:23:43Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > from my dad, a play on an old aphorism, that I have found very useful at work to not waste too much time on useless projects: > > “Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.” Yes, a solid nugget of wisdom. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/91 "2016-06-06T20:35:36Z")
Measure twice, cut once. This is a meticulous-sounding way to hide the fact that you lost the first set of measurements. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/92 "2016-06-06T20:36:39Z")
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/93 "2016-06-07T03:40:01Z")
> [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](#): > > Mine is “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.” There’s a corollary to that: Never take singing lessons from a pig. It comes in handy on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/94 "2016-06-07T04:43:31Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > …and I’ve forgotten the third I had in mind … Rick? Is that you? ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/95 "2016-06-07T13:06:59Z")
My go-to is it’s better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt. ---
**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322/96 "2016-06-07T14:14:21Z")
Talk Cheap - Take money buy Whiskey. [said in Tonto voice] No good deed goes unpunished. For the mechanics: Get a bigger hammer. If it won’t go, force it. For over-enthusiastic and unwanted ‘help’ on a project: I"M fuckin’ this monkey, you’re just holdin’ the tail! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-most-useful-aphorisms/756322.md?page=4)