# Your favorite short jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473 "2009-06-30T14:28:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/21 "2009-06-30T16:43:20Z")
What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop? (Dr. Dre) ---
**Author:** ![doverpro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@doverpro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doverpro)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/22 "2009-06-30T17:05:38Z")
A baby seal walks into a club. ---
**Author:** ![ashman165](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@ashman165](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ashman165)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/23 "2009-06-30T17:18:34Z")
What’s invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny poot. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/24 "2009-06-30T17:19:13Z")
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? A: Nothing. It just let you a little wine. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/25 "2009-06-30T17:44:17Z")
> [@filling\_pages](#): > > What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop? > > (Dr. Dre) Win. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/26 "2009-06-30T18:42:46Z")
Two cows are sitting in a field and one cow says, “What do you think of this mad cow disease” and the other replies, “What should I care? I’m a helicopter”. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/27 "2009-06-30T19:07:57Z")
Two eggs frying in a skillet. One says “hot in here, isn’t it?” The other says “fuck me, a talking egg!” ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/28 "2009-06-30T19:33:23Z")
My favorite short jokes typically involve Gary Coleman, Emmanuel Lewis, and Michael J. Fox. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/29 "2009-06-30T20:29:04Z")
Not really jokes but short funny phrases I have seen on t-shirts: FREE TIBET! (with the purchase of another tibet of equal or greater value) WWJD (for a klondike bar)? South Korea’s got Seoul Triple Nerd Score Camping is In-tents ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/30 "2009-06-30T20:54:24Z")
Charles Napier: Peccavi. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/31 "2009-06-30T20:54:30Z")
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! Two guys walk into a bar - you’d think the second one would’ve ducked. Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the sausage grinder? He got a little behind in his work. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter what you call it, it isn’t going to come. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. What is the difference between a dog and a well-dressed man? A well-dressed man wears a 3-piece suit. The dog just pants. What happened when the red ship ran into the blue ship? Both crews were marooned. Yeah, I’m a hit at the kids’ table! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/32 "2009-06-30T21:18:41Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Charles Napier: Peccavi. One of the greats. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/33 "2009-06-30T21:48:24Z")
I’ve always wanted to get the bumper sticker that says **REUNITE GONDWANALAND**. Even though 99% of people would have no idea what I was talking about. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/34 "2009-06-30T22:41:50Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the sausage grinder? > He got a little behind in his work. “I got fired from the butcher’s for putting my dick in the bacon slicer.” - “Oh my God, what did they do with the bacon slicer?” “Oh, she got fired too.” Britain’s ultimate one-liner comedian - [Jimmy Carr](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74ai4q6dcOM) ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/35 "2009-06-30T22:52:13Z")
From a recent film: “A black, a Mexican and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Get the fuck out of my bar!’” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/36 "2009-06-30T23:00:56Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > “I got fired from the butcher’s for putting my dick in the bacon slicer.” > > - “Oh my God, what did they do with the bacon slicer?” > “Oh, she got fired too.” > > Britain’s ultimate one-liner comedian - [Jimmy Carr](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74ai4q6dcOM) Ron White had the same experience with a pickle slicer! My contribution: 2 short jokes and 1 long joke. jokejoke jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke. ---
**Author:** ![MentalGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/439d5e/32.png) [@MentalGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MentalGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/37 "2009-06-30T23:03:09Z")
People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, no one is laughing now. ---
**Author:** ![HookerChemical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@HookerChemical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HookerChemical)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/38 "2009-06-30T23:46:30Z")
How do you make a skeleton? Put a leaper in a wind tunnel. How do you make sausage? Put a sock at the end of the tunnel. ---
**Author:** ![Soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/39 "2009-07-01T00:10:05Z")
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Two hours later, they walk out with a better understanding of each others’ point of view. What do you call a black guy who flies planes? A pilot. What the hell’s wrong with you? ---
**Author:** ![ashman165](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@ashman165](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ashman165)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473/40 "2009-07-01T00:11:32Z")
Priest and rabbi are sitting on a park bench when a child walks by. The priest asks, “See that little boy? Care to fuck him?” The rabbi, “Out of what?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-short-jokes/501473.md?page=3)