# Your favorite "Southern-ism" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 20, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170 "2004-09-20T18:54:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/1 "2004-09-20T18:54:59Z")
PREFACE - this is meant to be _fun_ and _not_ mean-spirited. If you are thinking about using this thread to trash on…well, white trash, or talk disrespectfully of people, please just move along. I had a friend from Fayetteville, AK. He always had a slew of what he called “Southern-isms.” He was _very_ smart - top undergrad, law school - I think he used his Southern-isms to charm his way with people. Anyway, here’re a few of them: “It was hotter than a fresh-fucked fox in a forest fire.” “She looked like she fell off an Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down.” “Oh man - feel like I been et by a bear and shit off a cliff.” (hungover) I searched for a thread like this and didn’t do too well - if there is one, please post a link. Otherwise, what Southern-isms do you know? ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/2 "2004-09-20T19:09:11Z")
One of my favorites, from a college friend from Tennessee– “It was so hot, I was sweatin’ like a whore in church.” ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/3 "2004-09-20T19:09:14Z")
To describe something that’s pretty cool, just say “Well that’s slicker than snot on a brass doorknob.” Someone who is nervous is “jumpier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.” If you’re stuck behind someone who’s not moving particularly fast, that person is “slower than smoke on the water”. A person deemed not especially bright is “a lost ball in high weeds”. Also, it seems that when referring to a stupid person, the polite Southern follow-up phrase is “Bless his/her heart”, as in “That poor l’il ol’ girl is just a lost ball in high weeds, bless her heart!” However, my very favorite Southernism, used to describe a fortunate turn of events, is: “HoooooooWee! We’s shittin’ in high cotton now!” Such imagery. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/4 "2004-09-20T19:11:56Z")
Close personal friend from Mobile AL has a few good ones…but my favorite is when you ask him how he’s do’in… _Finer n’Frog Hair_… ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/5 "2004-09-20T19:12:34Z")
> [@Skelji](#): > > A person deemed not especially bright is “a lost ball in high weeds”. A Texas-ism is “ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/6 "2004-09-20T19:13:13Z")
My absolute favorite, uttered by a childhood friend who now lives in Tennessee, to his teenaged son (and in absolute jest): “You stop doin’ that or I’m gonna slap a knot on your head!” I use it to this very day to play-threaten my son. ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/7 "2004-09-20T20:39:25Z")
My mom’s a southern gal, I love all her funny expressions. She got me going reading books by Jill Conner Browne, the first of which is “The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love” I recommend it if you’re needing something silly and fun to read. In her book, she explains the “bless his/her heart” expression. She said that using the bless your heart part was a way to insult someone while still being considered kind. (Or something like that) ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/8 "2004-09-20T20:54:21Z")
My step-father had an unending supply of these. _Flightier than a fart in a wind storm_ was probably the funniest one. For my favorite two, I go with Foghorn Leghorn: _“That boy’s 'bout as sharp as a bowling ball.”_ & _“Subtle as a hand grenade in a bowl of oatmeal.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Carm6773](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2bfe46/32.png) [@Carm6773](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carm6773)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/9 "2004-09-20T21:46:12Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > A Texas-ism is “ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That’s prevalent in Florida too (Is FL considered “south”?), although it’s usually “not the sharpest knife in the drawer”. The “Bless her/his heart” thing is heard here too. To describe someone who is nervously sweating: “Sweating like a preacher in an election” My favorite is the “fell off the ugly tree and hit a few branches on the way down” What else, y’all? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/10 "2004-09-20T21:49:27Z")
> [@Carm6773](#): > > My favorite is the “fell off the ugly tree and hit a few branches on the way down” > > What else, y’all? A variation: “Hit in the face with an ugly stick, and the stick broke.” ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/11 "2004-09-20T22:04:30Z")
> [@indecisive1](#): > > My mom’s a southern gal, I love all her funny expressions. > > She got me going reading books by Jill Conner Browne, the first of which is “The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love” I recommend it if you’re needing something silly and fun to read. > > In her book, she explains the “bless his/her heart” expression. She said that using the bless your heart part was a way to insult someone while still being considered kind. (Or something like that) I’ve read all of Jill Conner Browne’s books. I love, love, love them and recommend them to all women with a good sense of humor, Southern or not. 😉 On topic: “\_\_\_\_\_ as all get-out.” I’d never heard that until I moved to the South. It’s a great multi-purpose phrase, you can be “sexy as all get-out,” “crazy as all get-out” etc. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/12 "2004-09-20T22:27:57Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > My absolute favorite, uttered by a childhood friend who now lives in Tennessee, to his teenaged son (and in absolute jest): “You stop doin’ that or I’m gonna slap a knot on your head!” The correct pronunciation would be: “You stop doin’t that or I’monna slap a knot upside your head!” I’ve heard it - and it was always a play threat, never one that would actually be carried out. Now that I’m in Ohio, I’m reading these and realizing that I’ve said them - and never thought anything strange of them. One of these days, they’ll slip out at work (“y’all” already does, but I don’t think it’ll ever go away). Now to figure out what it is that I say that’s unusual - but I don’t think I’ll really know until someone looks at me funny, trying to figure out what I meant. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/13 "2004-09-20T22:29:55Z")
“I’d follow a mile of her shit just to see where it came from!” Funny, but nasty. Also, the Holy Trinity of “he/she is ugly” expressions: 1. She’s bout ugly enough to scare a buzzard off a meat wagon. 2. That boy could scare a pit bull up a plate glass window (winder.) 3. She’s uglier than the south end of a northbound dog. and the classic, as yet incomprehensible, one: “He’s ugly enough to snag lightnin’ out of a clear blue sky.” Oh oh oh, and my all-time favorite, uttered by many a drunken Southerner on Game Day: “Whooee! I’m fucked upper’n shit!” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/14 "2004-09-20T22:30:33Z")
I’ve always been partial to, “He needed killin’”. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/15 "2004-09-20T22:39:05Z")
Oh, and my favorite meteorological observation: “It’s hotter’n two rats fuckin’ in a wool sock.” ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/16 "2004-09-20T22:39:10Z")
Two suggestions: Deck shoes (aka “Top Siders”), or [Huaraches](http://www.travelsmith.com/ts/cookie.jsp?ContentOID=273020) (mexican dress sandals) [More Huaraches](http://brandxhuaraches.com/men.html). The latter are, technically, formal wear. At least in Mexico. I have some that look like the “Fisher” style in the second link, and they’re extremely comfortable. Some “huaraches” are very informal sandals or thongs made from discarded tires… these are fun, but I ain’t talkin’ about _zapatas de las maquiladoras_. And, importantly, _don’t wear socks_ with either! ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/17 "2004-09-20T22:40:52Z")
_ **D’oh!** _ Wrong thread. Sorry. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/18 "2004-09-20T23:20:24Z")
(Exclamation of surprise) God bless my fat aunt Clara! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/19 "2004-09-20T23:20:52Z")
“Dumber’n a bagga rocks.” (You gotta slur yer words a bit, sometimes) When you see, hear, or smell something disgusting: “That could gag a maggot.” If’n it’s really bad, “That could gag a healthy maggot.” conversation about supper: “Jeet?” “Nope. Jew?” ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170/20 "2004-09-20T23:31:10Z")
Weather-related ones are pretty cool, too, like “it’s rainin like a cow pissin on a flat rock” or “hotter than a two-dollar pistol”. Of course, insults are pretty colorful, like “fat as a dog tick” or “she looks like a rabbit that’s been eatin lettuce through a chicken-wire-fence” Sometimes when a pretty woman goes by, someone’ll say “now that’ll make a small dog break a big chain”… Since I’m transplanted up north now, I’m not as up on these things anymore… ☹ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-southern-ism/265170.md?page=2)