# Your favorite ultra-simple/vulgar jokes (profanity warning) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049 "2003-02-10T05:59:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/61 "2003-02-13T01:19:31Z")
Okay, another one. A man and a woman get on an elevator together. The man says, “I’d like a little pussy!” The woman says, “So would I. Mine’s as big as a handbag!” ---
**Author:** ![royjwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@royjwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/royjwood)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/62 "2003-02-13T03:49:46Z")
Did you see the story on BBC / CNN yesterday about the man who ate his baby’s foot? He claims that he did not know his wife was pregant… ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/63 "2003-02-13T17:51:47Z")
When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? After he eats his first Brownie ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/64 "2003-02-13T18:09:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Knowed Out \* > \*\*A big black dude… either." \*\* I don’t know if there’s a line in this thread, but if there is, I think you have crossed it. I’m not trying to jump down your throat, but I don’t think this was supposed to be an “anything goes” kind of thread. There are still standards here. My personal rule of thumb is that if I wouldn’t say something at a crowded dinner party, I don’t post it to the SDMB. For y’all’s consideration. ---
**Author:** ![ladydisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@ladydisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladydisco)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/65 "2003-02-13T19:32:35Z")
A guy walks into a psychiatrit’s office and he’s completely naked and wrapped in saran wrap. He says to the doctor ‘Doctor, doctor, you’ve got to tell me if I’m crazy.’ The doctor says ‘Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.’" ---
**Author:** ![Rucksinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/898d66/32.png) [@Rucksinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rucksinator)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/66 "2003-02-13T19:47:38Z")
If there’s a line in this thread, it was trampled a long time ago. ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/67 "2003-02-13T19:52:00Z")
I agree, if it’s ok to talk about babies in a blender, then the “n” word is pretty mild by comparison A skeleton walks into a bar, says “hey bartender, gimmie a beer and a mop” ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/68 "2003-02-14T16:46:38Z")
My husband’s favorite one-liner: Baby seal walks into a club. ---
**Author:** ![WonTon\_Sean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WonTon\_Sean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WonTon_Sean)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/69 "2003-02-14T19:52:38Z")
Best baby joke ever: How do you make a dead baby float? One scoop ice cream, one scoop dead baby. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049/70 "2003-02-14T21:52:02Z")
Dinsdale- Ding! Ding! Ding! Winnah!!! > [@](#): > > Guy and woman in elevator. > Guy asks, “Can I smell your pussy?” > Woman says, “No you certainly cannot!” > Guy says, “Oh, then it must be your BO.” Kick ass, man. Penguin drops his car off for repairs and goes next door to the ice cream shop to wait. When he returns the mechanic gives him the bad news: “Hey buddy- looks like you blew a seal”. Penguin wipes his mouth and says “no way- it’s just ice cream, man!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favorite-ultra-simple-vulgar-jokes-profanity-warning/154049.md?page=3)