# Your favourite bathroom graffiti
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 4, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293 "2006-04-04T18:16:45Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@beergeek279](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beergeek279)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2006, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/21 "2006-04-05T14:26:11Z")
One of my all-time favorites was on a condom machine:
**For refund, bring baby to the bar**
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### Author:  [@Kegg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kegg)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/22 "2006-04-06T11:04:54Z")
Well I did list on at the other sight. Same school differant bath room.
GOD is dead
“Time Mag”
GOD is alive
“Billey Grahm”
Who is Billey Grrahm
“GOD”
* * *
Spelling and grammer subject to change without notice.
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### Author:  [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/23 "2006-04-06T11:54:55Z")
In the bathroom of a college physics building:
“Heisenberg might have been here.”
(It’s not original, but still funny.)
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### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/24 "2006-04-06T13:28:08Z")
> [@Dr. Rieux](#):
>
> In a Library men’s room here at ASU:
>
> **Here I sit, buns a flexin’
> Just gave birth to another Texan**
Or the variation:
**Here I sit on this porcelain pooper,
Giving birth to another State Trooper.**
Another perennial favorite in college dormitories:
**Flush twice, it’s a long way to the cafeteria.**
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### Author:  [@QuizCustodet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuizCustodet)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/25 "2006-04-06T14:07:36Z")
A cafe near the Charles Bridge in Prague has a small reproduction of the Venus de Milo in the men’s loos. Some drunken stag-nighter scrawled ‘Small tits!’ in the relevant location, opening up the door for the reply: “But firm!” below in a different hand.
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### Author:  [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/26 "2006-04-06T14:14:31Z")
“Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards. It makes them soggy and difficult to light.”
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### Author:  [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/27 "2006-04-06T16:00:50Z")
My fave is unusual in that it has no profanity, and also because of it’s longevity…I first came across it in 1990, and I think it’s still there. You can find it scratched on a men’s stall in the South Watchman Campground at Zion Nat’l Park. Beneath a simple drawing of an owl, the text reads:
_“The Blind Owl Sees All!”_
_“Sees What?”_
_“Who?”_
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### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/28 "2006-04-06T16:04:29Z")
My all time favourite is the one from Sydney University, someone wrote:
**My mother made me a homosexual**
and someone added:
**If I get her the wool will she make me one too?**
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### Author:  [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/29 "2006-04-06T16:22:15Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#):
>
> It’s usually seen scratched into the dryer rather than photoshopped, but it’s still [the funniest thing](http://www.screenager.org/photos/dispenser/dispenser.jpg) in the history of the world. Ever.
Ah, I came here just to mention that one. A classic!
My 2nd favorite from the University of Illinois:
**$25 Fine for eating Urinal Cakes**
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### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/30 "2006-04-06T16:52:53Z")
The anarcho-hippie-pinko-punko East Quadrangle of the University of Michigan in the late '80s was a haven for surreal graffiti (and not just in bathrooms). Someone turned a large pre-fab sticker on a maintenance room door into an arresting little prose poem:
AUTHORIZED
PERSONNEL ONLY
EAT MONKEY TURDS
ON TUESDAY
And it must have been a restive political mind with no burning issues to engage it on a boring Friday night who traipsed down to the dumpster dock with Magic Marker in hand (and probably Mickeys Malt Liquor in the other) to scrawl in huge letters the never-to-be-completed thought:
WHEN PUSH COMES
TO SHOVE
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### Author:  [@Cherry2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry2000)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/31 "2006-04-06T17:48:50Z")
In an Alabama truck stop restroom"
No use tryin’ to straddle the seat
The crabs in here can jump thirty feet
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### Author:  [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/32 "2006-04-06T19:37:38Z")
I don’t see how this is even vaguely Cafe Society (arts & entertainment), so I’m moving it to MPSIMS.
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### Author:  [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/33 "2006-04-06T19:46:30Z")
From Kelly’s bar in Kansas City Mo circa 1975
“I feel more like I do now, than I did when I got here.”
I had to go back a number of times to re-read, to tell the people I was with. Of course I was too drunk to think about writing it down, so here it is, engraved in my brain 30 years later. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/34 "2006-04-06T20:18:57Z")
In the fieldhouse at the University of Chicago, in probably 1975-76:
**Richard Nixon took his wife to see Deep Throat 4 times before he finally got it down Pat**
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### Author:  [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/35 "2006-04-06T20:34:38Z")
Molly Brown, Molly Brown,
No one claimed to lay her down.
Then over the hills came Piss-pot Pete
with 20 lbs. of swinging meat.
Pete stuck Molly in the ass.
Molly passed one hell of a gas.
Then over the hills flew Piss-pot Pete
with 20 lbs. of shredded meat.
Broadway Joe’s Bar, Buffalo, NY, circa early 1990s
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### Author:  [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/36 "2006-04-06T20:43:21Z")
This is one that I did. Where I used to work (this has nothing to do with the “used to” part of that), I noticed that the men’s room had a large number of boogers on the wall right next to toilet (it was a pressroom, so the dust from the printing presses and the dry air probably was responsible for the high booger count). So, one day I took a pen with me and wrote “Wall of Boogers. Place your contributions below.” A few weeks later, someone added “Grow up!”
The Simpsons recently referenced Bart’s “Booger Wall” in his treehouse and it brought back fond memories.
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### Author:  [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/37 "2006-04-06T20:46:00Z")
This was a sign I saw on a bathroom door in Nevada. I was glad I didn’t have to go too bad. [see why](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2118/1647/1600/000_0166.jpg)
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### Author:  [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/38 "2006-04-06T21:00:42Z")
“Love means its wet when they stick their dirty fingers in it” - Ghandi
Snake and Jakes Xmas Club Lounge, New Orleans, LA
Somehow I doubt ghandi said that
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### Author:  [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2006, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/39 "2006-04-06T21:42:57Z")
> [@No Power In The 'Verse](#):
>
> I think the best I ever saw was in one of the guys bathrooms at my high school, I went in one day just to see it, me being a girl and all. Over a urinal it read “Hetler was the greatest” and underneath was “learn to spell you F-ing moron”. Still cracks me up
This reminds me of a similar exchange on a wall above a urinal at the college I attended. Attempting to make a racial slur, somebody had posted **NUKE NIGERS**. The response: **Niger is the name of a country in Africa. It’s also a river that flows through that part of the continent. There really isn’t that much there worth nuking.**
**Kegg** : I’ve seen this version of the one you posted:
**"God is dead." – Nietzsche
_Nietzsche is dead. – God_**
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### Author:  [@fuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuffle)
#### Post date: [April 7, 2006, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-bathroom-graffiti/351293/40 "2006-04-07T04:56:48Z")
“The scent of man, the consumption of space.”
Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam.
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