# Your favourite heroes vs. a tightly closed jar of pickles **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 7, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485 "2005-01-07T00:44:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/1 "2005-01-07T00:44:08Z")
Inspired, of course, by [this old thread…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=193966) It can be anyone you want and they’re allowed to use anything they want. But they can’t team up–they have to face the dreaded pickles on their own. So? Who will take the challenge? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/2 "2005-01-07T00:49:56Z")
Mr. Incredible has superhuman strength. He fears no pickle. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/3 "2005-01-07T01:12:04Z")
Well, Spider Man has Spidey strength and spider grip to prevent his hands from slipping. No contest, but I’m not sure how many he could eat. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/4 "2005-01-07T01:19:00Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > Well, Spider Man has Spidey strength and spider grip to prevent his hands from slipping. No contest, but I’m not sure how many he could eat. Mr. Incredible _clearly_ has the advantage there. ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/5 "2005-01-07T02:23:13Z")
Batman, if he’s prepared with one of those round rubber thingees. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/6 "2005-01-07T02:46:11Z")
Larry Boy would, er, um… … find himself in a bit of a pickle, I’m afraid. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/7 "2005-01-07T02:54:19Z")
The pickle jar would possibly defeat Sam. Max, on the other hand, could either open the jar with his powerful jaws or simply smash it. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/8 "2005-01-07T02:59:19Z")
Hulk Smash Pickle Jar! ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/9 "2005-01-07T03:01:14Z")
Note: The above post was originally typed in ALL CAPS, as is proper for any sentence beginning with “HULK SMASH…” but vB appears to have altered it. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/10 "2005-01-07T03:04:13Z")
Wolvie would just slice the top of the jar off. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/11 "2005-01-07T03:16:50Z")
John Crichton; he’d blast it open with Wynona… Aeryn Sun; eject the jar into space then blast it apart with her Prowler’s Frag cannons Ka’ D’Argo; slice the top off with his Qalta Blade, or try to open it with his bare hands, be unable to, go into Hyper Rage and smash the jar Rygel; drop it on the floor from his ThroneSled Jool; scream and shatter the jar Sikozu; “shift her gravity center”, walk in the ceiling and let the jar drop Scorpy; put one of his overheated thermal rods on it to shatter it Harvey; guilt John into doing it for him, then force him to give the pickles to Scorpy Chiana; attempt to seduce the pickle jar… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/12 "2005-01-07T03:17:36Z")
Tyler Durden would make a speech about how society has neutered us into being afraid of getting pickle juice on the floor, then proceed to break the jar over a space monkey’s head. ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/13 "2005-01-07T03:18:30Z")
TV Batman: Goes to the cave, uses the “Bat pickle-jar-lid-removal” machine. Frank Miller Batman: Grits teeth, flings jar against wall, creating a violent explosion of glass. Chuck Dixon Batman: Pickle jar reminds him of the death of his parents, bringing up a flashback to the night of their murder. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/14 "2005-01-07T04:09:12Z")
I’m afraid that my favourite superhero, Lube Girl, would probably be totally stymied. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/15 "2005-01-07T04:20:42Z")
Wonder Woman would use her powerful Amazon muscles, wrenching and pulling at the lid, but to no avail. “Batman,” she’d finally call, 'could you step in here for a minute?" Gonna catch hell for that one. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/16 "2005-01-07T04:33:35Z")
Matter-Eater Lad (remember him?) wouldn’t bother opening the jar first. ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/17 "2005-01-07T04:57:24Z")
Black Mage would Fighterdoken the jar, breaking it. Fighter would then eat the pickles. The Earl of Sandwich would have his servents open the jar while he continued to play cards. Thomas Jefferson would invent and patent a machine to open the pickle jar. Eärendil would use his Eldarin craft-fashioning skills to open the jar and fashion it into a luminous light for his ship. Then he’d feed the pickles to the gulls. Master Shake would make Meatwad open it. ---
**Author:** ![iggy\_popov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@iggy\_popov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iggy_popov)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/18 "2005-01-07T05:16:54Z")
Spike Spiegel would just shoot at the jar until it opened(or shatter). ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/19 "2005-01-07T05:34:23Z")
Why, the Mayor would simply call the Powerpuff Girls. He _loves_ pickles. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485/20 "2005-01-07T05:55:14Z")
[Powdered Toast Man](http://lady_deathtouch.tripod.com/dossier/ptm.html) would cling tenaciously to the lid with his buttocks, wrenching it free. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-heroes-vs-a-tightly-closed-jar-of-pickles/283485.md?page=2)