# Your favourite jokes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 21, 2004, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196 "2004-04-21T10:01:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/21 "2004-04-21T18:49:42Z")
I’ll buy that tractor. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/22 "2004-04-21T18:53:37Z")
I like the old Russian Jewish joke, where Mendhlsson tips his hat and replies “Mendhlsson.” ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/23 "2004-04-21T19:31:18Z")
My favorite one is the one that ends with “I shouldn’t have been in the goddammed play in the first place!” Been telling it since I was in Grade 4. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/24 "2004-04-21T20:03:14Z")
“Look at that escargot!” ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/25 "2004-04-21T20:06:14Z")
The one about the farmer’s daughters and the milking machine that only stops when it gets a gallon. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/26 "2004-04-21T20:10:29Z")
“That ain’t chicken!” ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/27 "2004-04-21T20:12:34Z")
Pardon me, but are these “synopses”, or just random elements thrown because we all wanna play like we’re arch little SD hepsters? 'Cos…um, I’d like to know the punchline. Or, the joke. Whichever part is enexplicably missing. Pity me, I’ve not memorized every funny I’ve heard since age 6. ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/28 "2004-04-21T20:24:09Z")
hey **fishbicycle** , weren’t you the one who told the ‘Tankity-tankity-tank’ joke? Good one, I still remember it fondly. ---
**Author:** ![RandomLetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@RandomLetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandomLetters)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/29 "2004-04-21T20:28:06Z")
Ah, they’re 1920’s style “Death Rays.” ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/30 "2004-04-21T20:33:22Z")
My favorite joke, which is a dirty joke that I changed to G-rated to my own endless amusement: A farmer and his son are standing on a hill looking down on their herd of cows. The son says ‘Hey, dad! Let’s run down the hill and milk one of those cows!’ The farmer says ‘No, son. Let’s WALK down and milk them all.’ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/31 "2004-04-21T21:49:23Z")
“No, I’m a frayed knot.” ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/32 "2004-04-21T22:01:02Z")
WORK = F D F = M A WORK = M A D -----------or---------------- In physics class, I heard that protons have mass then I thought I didn’t even know they were Catholic ----------or---------------- A Physics Student, a Mathematics student, and a Geology Student were each given $150 dollars and were told to use that money to find out exactly how tall a particular hotel was. All three ran off, extremely keen on how to do this. The Physics student went out, purchased some stopwatches, a number of ball bearings, a calculator, and some friends. He had them all time the drop of ball bearings from the roof, and he then figured out the height from the time it took for the bearings to accelerate from rest until they impacted with the sidewalk. The Math student waited until the sun was going down, then she took out her protractor, plumb line, measuring tape,and scratch pad, measured the length of the shadow, found the angle the buildings roof made from the ground, and used trignometry to figure out the height of the building. These two students bumped into the Geology student the next day, who was nursing a really bad hangover. When asked what he did to find the height of the building he replied: “Well, I walked up to the bell hop, gave him 10 bucks, asked him how tall the hotel was, and hit the bar inside for happy hour!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/33 "2004-04-21T22:13:25Z")
the idea isn’t to tell your favourite joke. it’s go give a brief description of the joke. you don’t reveal the punchline, just enough for people to wonder about it. here’s another one. I like the one about the bartender who won’t serve the crab. ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/34 "2004-04-21T22:24:44Z")
oh… :o I feel sheepish… I like the one that ends with the geologist pissing in the engineers coke 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/35 "2004-04-21T22:25:23Z")
The one where the guy who gets the Rolls Royce is cryong because he sees his wife riding a skateboard. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/36 "2004-04-21T22:35:08Z")
I like the one about the ag school grad who sees a farmer holding a big sow up so she could eat apples. The top golfer is black, the top rapper is white, and… ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/37 "2004-04-21T22:43:14Z")
“Iceberg, Goldberg, Steinberg - it’s all the same to me!” ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/38 "2004-04-21T22:48:01Z")
My favourite (and probably sickest): ‘Because his ferret died’ ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/39 "2004-04-21T23:30:30Z")
“I’m _positive_!” ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196/40 "2004-04-21T23:36:17Z")
“I don’t know, honey, but this one’s eating my popcorn!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-favourite-jokes/241196.md?page=3)