# Your forum topics are screwy **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [July 14, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958 "2011-07-14T01:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/101 "2011-07-20T01:55:11Z")
I’m confused. What’s screwy about the forum topics? And when did we get a goat? Is it the one that ate the money, or the one that ate the dynamite? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/102 "2011-07-20T02:09:56Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > And when did we get a goat? Is it the one that ate the money, or the one that ate the dynamite? It’s the one that ate the snake in the fruit basket, and got bitten on the asp. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/103 "2011-07-20T23:09:54Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I’m confused. What’s screwy about the forum topics? > > And when did we get a goat? Is it the one that ate the money, or the one that ate the dynamite? UH OH! **TriPolar** ’s going senile! Must have been that Baby Boomer thread that did it. He’s already forgotten the goat! Whoever has the squid, show it to him. See if he remembers! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/104 "2011-07-20T23:14:17Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > Whoever has the squid, show it to him. See if he remembers! Ah, the squid isn’t really in a condition to be seen at the moment. Check with Siam Sam. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/105 "2011-07-22T02:52:09Z")
I’m afraid there’s some bad news. As god is my witness, I thought squids could fly. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/106 "2011-07-22T16:18:44Z")
Well, great. How are we going to welcome newbies to the SDMB now? ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/107 "2011-07-22T16:34:34Z")
With flying goats and monkeys? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/108 "2011-07-22T16:41:23Z")
No more squid? Say it ain’t so! In it’s place I suggest a nice cuttlefish. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/109 "2011-07-22T16:44:35Z")
Perhaps we can dress one of the spare hamsters in a squid suit. Like for Halloween. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/110 "2011-07-22T23:41:20Z")
I have some more bad news about the hamsters. :o ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/111 "2011-07-22T23:52:49Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I have some more bad news about the hamsters. :o Hamsters _can_ fly…once. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/112 "2011-07-23T00:48:48Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I have some more bad news about the hamsters. :o Please tell me that this has nothing to do with Thai Lady Boys. Please. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/113 "2011-07-23T00:52:29Z")
Not at all. It’s just that I forgot to duct tape 'em first. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/114 "2011-07-23T01:26:49Z")
Ah. Duct tape…whom? ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/115 "2011-07-23T04:13:13Z")
Don’t forget to defrost them. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/116 "2011-07-23T15:20:50Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Please tell me that this has nothing to do with Thai Lady Boys. > > Please. > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Ah. > > Duct tape…whom? > [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > Don’t forget to defrost them. > > -D/a For some reason, this exchange makes me think of the frozen male genitals a cleaning lady found in a waste bin on a Skytrain platform 10 or 11 years ago. The Skytrain is our elevated mass transit. It was at Siam Station, and back then there were still waste bins on the station platforms. Not now, thanks to a series of bombings having to do with local politics one year, in the wake of the 2006 military coup. But a cleaning lady emptying out this one bin on the top platform of Siam Station – or digging through it maybe, dunno, they don’t get paid very much – found a set of frozen male genitals, in 2000 or 2001. Medical officials speculated they may have been discarded following a sex-change operation, as they seem to have been surgically removed and not, say, torn off. As far as I know, the mystery was never solved. I wonder if the cleaning lady ever recovered from the shock. I recall having just used that station and platform that day myself, but I had nothing to do with the case. Not that anyone can prove anyway. EDIT: That was a true story. Really. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/117 "2011-07-24T01:35:35Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > … I recall having just used that station and platform that day myself, but I had nothing to do with the case. Not that anyone can prove anyway. Maybe we could use one of those to replace the squid. Could we convince you to have nothing to do with another case? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2011, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958/118 "2011-07-24T02:14:58Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > Maybe we could use one of those to replace the squid. Let’s go back to the paper cut and lemon juice. Please. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-forum-topics-are-screwy/588958.md?page=5)