# Your future self sends a T-800 terminator for you to command. What do you do with it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 27, 2015, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017 "2015-01-27T17:04:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/1 "2015-01-27T17:04:38Z")
In the fine tradition of the Skaldthetical, I propose the following: over the last few months, you’ve been getting secret messages from your future self (in the mail, little notes in the newspaper that only you would notice, emails, etc. – whatever would convince you). Suffice to say, you’re convinced that your future self is actually trying to communicate with you. He/she (you) fills you in on the future (or one possible future) via email or something – in short, there’s a robot rebellion (ala The Terminator) at some point, but the humans are victorious. He/she tells you that he/she is sending a T-800 for you to command, but his/her messages are cut off – for an unknown reason, you lose contact with him/her. A few days later, you get a knock on the door – it’s the T-800, slightly modified to not look and sound so much like Arnold. All he says is that he is here for you to command – your future self had to rush because there was an attack, and the T-800 doesn’t have any more information than you do about why he is here. So now you have a T-800 to command. For those unfamiliar with the Terminator series, the T-800 is a robot with a living, organic exterior, such that it looks, feels, and sounds just like a human. It has a sophisticated brain, can learn, and is very smart, but is not particularly good at emulating human emotions. It is extremely strong and tough, though the organic exterior is as susceptible to damage as our own skin (and can heal like our own skin). It has an internal fusion reactor (or something) capable of powering it for decades or more. In the movies, T-800s were used for assassinations and infiltrations, and they were very, very good at their jobs. What do you do? He will do anything at all that you order. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/2 "2015-01-27T17:20:03Z")
Well, the apartment will be spotless from this moment forward. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/3 "2015-01-27T17:21:50Z")
Reverse-engineer myself into billions of dollars. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/4 "2015-01-27T17:33:09Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Reverse-engineer myself into billions of dollars. That’s no fun. 😃 Let’s say that’s not allowed (say, the one order it won’t obey is to disassemble itself). Or that you can do this and get rich (or, alternately, submit the T-800 to various sports like boxing and MMA and get rich that way), but then you still have a functioning T-800 to command. So what else would you do with it? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/5 "2015-01-27T17:34:22Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Well, the apartment will be spotless from this moment forward. That’s a good answer. Anything else? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/6 "2015-01-27T18:26:15Z")
I want the true Arnold version. I will send him to Hollywood and make hundreds of millions renting him out as a buff wooden actor with a sense of humor. And my house will be spotless and car sparkling. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/7 "2015-01-27T18:32:32Z")
I’d probably try to set myself up as a government vendor and send my T-800 around the world at the behest of the Pentagon… for a hefty fee. Think about it… some lone beefy white guy wanders into Kim Jong Un’s palace and starts wrecking shop, and after everyone’s dead, just walks out into the ocean. (where a US sub picks him up. The North Koreans would scream bloody murder and blame the US, but really… who would believe them? ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/8 "2015-01-27T18:41:58Z")
Start a moving company. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/9 "2015-01-27T19:02:34Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Well, the apartment will be spotless from this moment forward. You’re underestimating the utility of a Robot Butler Dog walked even when it’s raining No more running out of milk You’ll always have a designated driver Your kids will have the best show and tell ever Useful umbrella stand when he’s not doing anything else ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/10 "2015-01-27T19:17:29Z")
Yeah . . . monkey butlers are so last decade; Arnie butlers are where it’s at, baby! ---
**Author:** ![Deeg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deeg/32/2955_2.png) [@Deeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deeg)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/11 "2015-01-27T19:41:25Z")
I might consider sending him to North Korea and taking out the top cadre. That would probably lead to a disaster for current North Koreans but maybe it would end the madness and give the next generation a chance to actually live. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/12 "2015-01-27T19:44:07Z")
I would come home from work every day to a beautifully cooked meal, freshly washed dogs, a sparkling home and a deep shoulder massage…all without having to change my gender preference and time traveling to find a 1950s wife. My yard work would be impeccably completed, no matter what football game was on. My car would be mechanically sound, home repairs would be kept up on constantly, my ‘honey-do’ list would be completed the same day it was written. (Hooray!) I would always have an escort to the company Christmas party who would not let my boss drink too much and flirt with me. I would have someone who would notice and admire my new hairstyle and be perfectly fine standing in the corner of my room at night while I hog the bed, snore contentedly, and wear odd colored face creams and a big ole granny flannel nightie. 😃 Yes, I think small, but it is all about me until my future self tells me differently. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/13 "2015-01-27T19:49:40Z")
Donald Trump would have a very bad day. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/14 "2015-01-27T19:58:07Z")
Yeah, he would be a great butler if he didn’t kill the mailman or door-to-door salesmen. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/15 "2015-01-27T20:09:05Z")
I would never again be stuck in traffic. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/16 "2015-01-27T20:16:00Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > I would never again be stuck in traffic. How would that work? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/17 "2015-01-27T20:26:19Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > How would that work? Terminator, I command thee. Clear the road before me. _Hasta la vista, baby._ ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/18 "2015-01-27T20:28:31Z")
But wouldn’t your commute be further disrupted by the massive police and national guard response to a highway mass-murder? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/19 "2015-01-27T20:31:20Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > But wouldn’t your commute be further disrupted by the massive police and national guard response to a highway mass-murder? _The Terminator: I’ll take care of the police. John Connor: Hey, wait! You swore! The Terminator: [smiles] Trust me._ ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017/20 "2015-01-27T21:34:19Z")
Rake the leaves. Paint the house. Give him a list of people I Do Not Like. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-future-self-sends-a-t-800-terminator-for-you-to-command-what-do-you-do-with-it/711017.md?page=2)