# Your gender and your attitude toward your name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 19, 2010, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180 "2010-11-19T02:56:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/61 "2010-11-20T04:36:36Z")
I’m a woman and I voted that I don’t hate my given name. I don’t like it all that much but would never change it, that would make me feel pretentious. It’s a cutesy diminutive… but at least it’s very easily pronounced, classically used in America, and hasn’t been in the top 100 females names since the 60s. People almost always use silly plays on my name to address me, but I don’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/62 "2010-11-20T05:29:24Z")
The only thing I hate about my name, Robert, is that it has been falling out of favor for a while now. I like the name, and don’t want to see it fall into disuse. My middle name really doesn’t fit me, but I really feel like a Robert. Kinda helps that it’s _the_ male name in my family; if you’re a male and not named Robert, then you’re either a later son or married in. I feel particularly lucky, too; because there were so many Roberts, a lot of my family members get stuck with the four standard diminutives-- Rob, Robby, Bob, Bobby. When I was born, the four diminutives were in use, and the most prominent Robert had just passed away, so I got to keep and use the full version of my name. OTOH, the ubiquity of the name in my family made me really sensitive to how people address me. I really dislike people shortening my name, since I associate those names with other members of my family. One girlfriend felt slighted because I wouldn’t allow her to call me by a nickname; she felt that I was being too distant by asking her to use my full name, instead of using a more intimate “Rob.” My ex-wife, Lindsey, liked her given name… it was her family name that she disliked, so she happily took mine, and kept it when we divorced. Every woman I’ve dated since has _hated_ her given name. Heather hated her name because it was too common; she also disliked her family name, because it not only wasn’t euphonious, but it was quite uncommon and blatantly connected her to the family of politicians that she wished she could be separate from. Stephanie hated her name because it wasn’t dramatic enough, and made her think of cheerleaders. Karen hated her name because she thought it made her sound “old.” Sarah hated her name because she was Jewish, and apparently 50% of the girls at her synagogue when she was growing up were named Sarah (the other half were Rachels). ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/63 "2010-11-20T05:56:02Z")
I’m a guy and my first name is in about 99.9% of the time is considered a female name. Ya, I hate it and now that I’m back in the US of A where everything is First Name middle initial Last Name, I get to hear it all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/64 "2010-11-20T06:21:18Z")
I like both my first and middle names (Sarah Elizabeth) but didn’t like my first name as a school-aged child in the late 80s and early 90s because there were so many Sarahs in my classes. In fifth grade almost 25% of the class had the name, a lot of us with the same last initial, so I went by my middle name that year. I think my boys will probably hate their names at some point, too. The oldest because there are so many girls in his age group who share a form of his name (he’s just Alex, not Alexander) and the younger because his middle name is Lynn (family tradition, so he’ll probably appreciate it someday… maybe). ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/65 "2010-11-20T06:28:31Z")
> [@TheMerchandise](#): > > I’m female and while I don’t mind it now, I used to HATE my given name. > > It’s quite unusual and many people think it’s a man’s name if they just see it written down. There’s only so many times you can meet someone for the first time and have them say “I thought you were a guy!” before you’re \*\*forced \*\*to develop a good sense of humor. I have a coworker named Erin. **He** shares your pain. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/66 "2010-11-20T07:34:06Z")
When I was younger, I hated my first name because it was so unusual. I insisted in going by my middle name (Jane), which is so extremely normal that it fails in the other direction. The only real problem I have with it, though, is that it doesn’t have any nicknames. I’d like to have a nickname. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/67 "2010-11-20T12:18:09Z")
If you’re not Irish the spelling and pronunciation of my name is difficult. I’ll present an ID or write out my first name and people still miss an “r” or put the “ei” around the wrong way. Dearshay, Deeandray, Deedree, Deeaydra … people just struggle along - please call me “D”. I love my name, and if you can pronounce it like I do you can call me that, although no one will know who you’re talking about because many people can’t. Guessed yet? Deirdre. A common Irish name. It was a toss up between that and Aisling. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7cd45c/32.png) [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_Doubt)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/68 "2010-11-20T17:21:52Z")
[quote=“Tengu, post:49, topic:561180”] The only people I’ve met who disliked their name didn’t dislike the name, so much, as the diminutives people choose to use - generally against their will.QUOTE] Somewhat same situation here. I’m okay with the “regular” version of my name, which is one that has exploded in popularity in the last few years and which no one had heard of in the 70s and 80s. The diminutive of it, though, is really “dorky” in my opinion, and it didn’t help my already low self-esteem as a kid. I really think names have a huge impace on a person’s self-actualization. Even today I have some relatives who insist on using the latter, no matter how many times I ask them not to. It’s extremely rude and insensitive. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/69 "2010-11-20T17:35:58Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Hi Roxanne. > > I’m Doug, and I love the name. It suits me fine. Ha! Not Roxanne, and I don’t know if bad Sting impressions would be better or worse than what I hear. > [@Misnomer](#): > > That’s how I feel about my last name, which is uncommon and lends itself to one particular obvious joke. Life is better now that I’m out of school, but I _still_ run across adults who are compelled to make the same stupid joke upon learning my last name. They always think they’re terribly clever and original, too. It’s probably the biggest reason I’m for the idea of taking my husband’s last name should I ever get married. I only get a few jokes about my last name (people tend to go for the obvious first name giggles), but almost nobody can pronounce it right. It’s Welsh, but pretty simple if you just _say it_ and don’t think about it too hard. It’s pretty common to get mail with my last name spelled wrong, too, even if it’s coming from people that I spelled it for. > [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > If you’re not Irish the spelling and pronunciation of my name is difficult. I’ll present an ID or write out my first name and people still miss an “r” or put the “ei” around the wrong way. > > Dearshay, Deeandray, Deedree, Deeaydra … people just struggle along - please call me “D”. > > I love my name, and if you can pronounce it like I do you can call me that, although no one will know who you’re talking about because many people can’t. > > Guessed yet? Deirdre. A common Irish name. It was a toss up between that and Aisling. You remind me of a co-worker, named Siobhan. I’m one of the only people in our office that can pronounce it correctly, and it’s just painful sometimes listening to everyone else butcher her name. She’s worked here for _years_ and they just can’t wrap their heads around it. I’m pretty sure she’s given up at this point. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/70 "2010-11-20T17:50:21Z")
Course, the thing with Deirdre is that there’s an English variant, fairly common among women in their fifties and sixties, which is spelt exactly the same but with the second syllable pronounced to rhyme with ‘see.’ Like the character Deirdre in Eastenders. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/71 "2010-11-20T18:28:30Z")
> [@Not\_a\_Platypus](#): > > [QUOTE=Misnomer] > That’s how I feel about my last name, which is uncommon and lends itself to one particular obvious joke. Life is better now that I’m out of school, but I still run across adults who are compelled to make the same stupid joke upon learning my last name. They always think they’re terribly clever and original, too. It’s probably the biggest reason I’m for the idea of taking my husband’s last name should I ever get married. I only get a few jokes about my last name (people tend to go for the obvious first name giggles), but almost nobody can pronounce it right. It’s Welsh, but pretty simple if you just _say it_ and don’t think about it too hard. It’s pretty common to get mail with my last name spelled wrong, too, even if it’s coming from people that I spelled it for. [/QUOTE] Yeah, no one ever pronounces my last name correctly, either. It’s Irish – which no one _ever_ guesses – and only four letters long, and pretty straightforward, really, but people just don’t know what to do with it. Lots of times, if I’m waiting to hear my name called for something I’ll just assume that the “Jenny/Jennifer” without a surname is me: sometimes the name-callers don’t even bother trying to say it. I don’t usually get mail with it spelled incorrectly, but it’s happened once or twice. The most common mistake is for the last letter to be left off. Oh, to marry a “Smith” (who probably always gets asked if he spells it “Smythe”)… 😉 (I will say, though, that the one benefit of having my last name is that people tend to remember it. Even if they don’t always place it (or me) right away, they’ll remember/recognize my name. That comes in handy every now and then.) ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/72 "2010-11-20T23:53:24Z")
I love my name. My mama named me after her favorite childhood dolly. I remember the way I cherished my own doll so it made me feel so special. I like my last name too, despite the attachment to my father’s side. It’s still my name, and I’ve been married twice without giving it up. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/73 "2010-11-21T00:26:30Z")
My name is Regina, and I’ve always hated it. I hate the two most common nicknames for it – Gina and Reggie – and I die a little inside when people pronounce it the British way, to rhyme with “vagina.” Gaaaah. I don’t have a middle name to use instead, and when I went through a phase of trying to get people to call me “Rina” it didn’t stick, so I’m stuck. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/74 "2010-11-21T00:41:14Z")
> [@Not\_a\_Platypus](#): > > I hated my name until I was in my teens, but that’s because everyone had a joke that they just **had** to let out, sometimes in song! I started to like it more once I spent most of my time around people that had grown the fuck up. It’s an uncommon name (for people, anyway) that frequently gets comments or questions when I meet new people, but no more jokes. I was sure your name was Perry, until I realized that your username predates _Phineas and Ferb_. And, **Bamboo Gut** : you mean no one guesses the usual pronunciation of Dee-dra? Or the less usual but still popular Deer-dra? Now, if both of those is wrong, I can understand people being confused. BTW, my name has a more usual pronunciation, but most people get it right now, unless they are from a certain ethnic group. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/75 "2010-11-21T01:27:49Z")
I don’t mind my name, Victoria, but I loathe the nickname Vicky. It especially irritates me when I introduce myself as Victoria and the other person replies, “Hi Vicky.” ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/76 "2010-11-21T07:23:15Z")
I dislike my name because it’s frequently misspelled as a girls’ name. So I guess I hate that people misspell an easy word on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/77 "2010-11-21T07:53:07Z")
> [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > My name is Regina, and I’ve always hated it. I hate the two most common nicknames for it – Gina and Reggie – and I die a little inside when people pronounce it the British way, to rhyme with “vagina.” Gaaaah. I don’t have a middle name to use instead, and when I went through a phase of trying to get people to call me “Rina” it didn’t stick, so I’m stuck. Well at least you weren’t called “Mulva”. Mine’s Jonathan and I don’t hate it but I think I’d have preferred something else. It doesn’t really matter in Australia because people will come up with some odd nickname regardless. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/78 "2010-11-21T17:16:07Z")
I very much dislike my first name- my \*full \*first name. Which I didn’t even know about until I was five. I like my middle name, and I’ve come to like the nickname that everybody knows me by. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/79 "2010-11-21T17:47:03Z")
When I was younger I hated my name (Nicholas) but I’ve come to like it. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/80 "2010-11-21T18:48:15Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > When I was younger I hated my name (Nicholas) but I’ve come to like it. Interestingly, if I had been born a boy, this would have been my name. I have a similar “used to hate it” history, but I am comfortable with my name these days. I think there were two factors in me not liking my name as a younger child: 1) I’d constantly get references to a cartoon villain in response as a kid, and 2) I was the only child who didn’t get a maternal ethnic name, so I didn’t feel like my name fit in with our family and family friends’ names. After a certain point, I realized that wishing for a female ethnic name that English speakers could pronounce was a tall order, and that my name was pretty and relatively uncommon, but not so uncommon as to be considered strange. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180.md?page=5)