# Your gender and your attitude toward your name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 19, 2010, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180 "2010-11-19T02:56:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/81 "2010-11-21T19:10:13Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Guessed yet? Deirdre. A common Irish name. It was a toss up between that and Aisling. > [@BigT](#): > > Or the less usual but still popular Deer-dra? This is our daughter’s name, and the pronunciation. She loves it, thankfully: she’s the only Deirdre in the school system. She stands out among the mix of Mary Katherines, Anna Katherines, and Emmas. I hope she loves it late on. She is constantly having to correct people on both the spelling and the pronunciation, though. Me: hated my given name so much that I had it legally changed in 1997. My birth name was Wanda, and it was horrible growing up with that name. My egg donor saddled me with this monstrously long name, only one of which I liked. When I changed, I didn’t even keep that: I adopted a new first and middle name. By the time 1997 was over, I had gotten married, so I got a new last name then. ---
**Author:** ![InterestedObserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@InterestedObserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InterestedObserver)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/82 "2010-11-21T19:34:20Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Why is your middle name not your given name? > > I go by my middle name. It’s not because I hate my first name, it’s because that’s what my parents always called me, and what everybody has always called me. > > I don’t really know why they decided to call me by my middle name, but they did. If someone says my first name I will very likely not answer, unless it’s a cop (it’s the name on my driver’s license–well, it’s the first name on my driver’s license, they’re all there). It’s not that I hate it. We did the same thing with (to?) our son…his first name is John, a family name and his middle name is Forest, just a name we liked. We couldn’t bring ourselves to name him Forest John (sounds like one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men), so we went the other way and just called him by his middle name. Has not been any big deal, the odd brief confusion on official forms aside. As for my name, I like it ok NOW, but never cared much for it when I was younger. Several years ago I stopped answering to/using the short form (Kim) and go by Kimberly. But I sort of wish my mom had gone with Simone, which was one she considered…just sounds way more exotic and less common. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/83 "2010-11-21T19:49:30Z")
I don’t ‘hate’ my given name as such, but to indicate that I don’t ‘like’ it I have to pick the hate option. I never really liked ‘Peter’. But now that I have it, I can’t imagine having any other. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/84 "2010-11-21T20:03:27Z")
Male. I clicked “hate”, though I would not use that word myself. But in the spirit of the thread I’m a guy who doesn’t like his given name. Simply for the reason that it’s extremely common – perhaps the most common men’s name in my country. I can’t help looking every time someone calls my name, despite daily false alarms. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/85 "2010-11-21T21:17:19Z")
**Not a Platypus** - you’re right, Deirdre is not the worst. **scifisam2009** I think you mean that Barlow woman on Corrie, or is there one on Eastenders too? \*\*BigT \*\* Call me Dee! Deardruh is about as close as I can get to explain the pronunciation. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/86 "2010-11-21T21:48:10Z")
> [@Ann\_Onimous](#): > > Me: hated my given name so much that I had it legally changed in 1997. My birth name was Wanda, and it was horrible growing up with that name. My egg donor saddled me with this monstrously long name, only one of which I liked. When I changed, I didn’t even keep that: I adopted a new first and middle name. By the time 1997 was over, I had gotten married, so I got a new last name then. How did people take to the idea of calling you a new name? I’ve always wanted to change mine but have been afraid no one would comply to my wishes or would cause a big fuss or something. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/87 "2010-11-21T21:57:50Z")
I used to hate mine, but I’ve grown to like it now that I’m a grownup. I think kids often hate their names. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/88 "2010-11-21T22:00:24Z")
I’m Ethan, and I rather like my name. I’ve had it for nearly three decades, and it’s served me fairly well. Plus, it was a relatively uncommon name for most of that time. That’s starting to change, though, and it’s messing with my head a bit - I’m not used to someone calling my name and _not_ asking for me in the way that a “Bob” or a “Dan” would be, for example. It leads to a bit of an odd moment when young mothers say things like “Ethan, put your pants back on!” ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/89 "2010-11-21T22:49:03Z")
My name’s Robert. I’ve always liked it, though I hate most of the diminutives. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/90 "2010-11-22T02:15:14Z")
> [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > How did people take to the idea of calling you a new name? I’ve always wanted to change mine but have been afraid no one would comply to my wishes or would cause a big fuss or something. It wasn’t too bad, really. My friends took to it easily, and the relatives I have left I see so seldom it doesn’t matter. I had no immediate relatives left at that point. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/91 "2010-11-22T02:41:51Z")
> [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > How did people take to the idea of calling you a new name? I’ve always wanted to change mine but have been afraid no one would comply to my wishes or would cause a big fuss or something. People have always called me Vic, which I didn’t mind in high school. In college, people started to introduce me as Vic, which I didn’t like. I asked them to start calling me Victoria. My friend Patrick, who preferred being called by his full name, never called me Vic again. Fifteen years later, most of my college friends still call me Vic. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/92 "2010-11-22T11:08:44Z")
I don’t mind my name - I don’t like when people use the diminutive of it, although I’m not exactly sure why that bothers me. ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/93 "2010-11-22T12:22:34Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > I don’t like when people use the diminutive of it I’m with you. When ever someone does I always say that that was my late uncle. I’m not him. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/94 "2010-11-22T16:01:29Z")
Male and my name is often commented upon and even made fun of but it is mine. It took me a while to get used to the comments. My attitude now is that you can kiss my ass if you think my name is funny. If you feel like you just have to comment then don’t be surprised when I comment on your over-large nose, huge waist or poor fashion sense. It is still surprising what come out of adult mouths. I once met a woman a singles function who, when I asked her name, said “I never know how to answer that.” WTF? She clearly had issues with her name. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/95 "2010-11-22T16:22:47Z")
Related anecdote, that **vix** brought to mind: My maternal grandfather was born “Vito,” but started calling himself “Victor” when he was a young man (I have his US Navy Bluejackets’ Manual, and it says “Victor”). He was second-generation Italian, and the change was a reflection of his desire to Americanize. As he got older, he often threatened that if we put “Vito” on his gravestone he would haunt us. 😃 (When the time came three years ago, we put “Victor.” He seems to be at peace – but I don’t know if I can say the same for grandma, who pre-deceased him. ;)) ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/96 "2010-11-22T17:06:26Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > I don’t ‘hate’ my given name as such, but to indicate that I don’t ‘like’ it I have to pick the hate option. I never really liked ‘Peter’. > > But now that I have it, I can’t imagine having any other. My boyfriend’s name it Peter, which he likes but will absolutely not introduce himself as such because he hate hate hates the way Americans tend to pronounce it “Peeder”. It’s always “Pete” , though some of his Brit friends call him by his full name. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/97 "2010-11-22T17:29:08Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > My boyfriend’s name it Peter, which he likes but will absolutely not introduce himself as such because he hate hate hates the way Americans tend to pronounce it “Peeder”. As opposed to Peet-ah like Gwyneth Paltrow in _Hook_? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/98 "2010-11-22T17:49:07Z")
When I was a kid, I disliked my name somewhat (Ellen) because it wasn’t very common, and you couldn’t get those little keychains or license plates with my name on it. You could get Helen, and sometimes you could get Nellie, but no Ellen. I went by “El” for a while, but not long, and was never Ellie because there was another Ellie in my class in elementary school. I didn’t really like it until I discovered that the other name my mother was considering was Alice, which (at the time) seemed to me to be a horribly boring, old-lady name. Now, I like it BECAUSE it’s fairly unique, at least for women in my age group (40’s). My ex-husband hates (and that may be too gentle a word) both his first and middle name; the reason he gives for this is that he was named for an uncle (cousin?) who died not long before he was born, and thinks this is a Bad Thing ™ - I’m not sure why, the reason changes every time you ask him about it. He chooses to go by his last name, although I refused to call him that while we were married. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/99 "2010-11-24T06:53:55Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > As opposed to Peet-ah like Gwyneth Paltrow in _Hook_? 😃 Perhaps he’d prefer Pet-er 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2010, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180/100 "2010-11-24T07:01:56Z")
I don’t like my name because I was named after my father, who left me at six months and I’ve barely seen since. I went with a nickname almost all my childhood, to the point it was the only name on my high school transcripts. I had to start using my given name in college, although I typically used a shortened version of the name. Plus it’s hard to pronounce. At this point I’m so used to it that it’s not worth to go to all the effort to change it now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-and-your-attitude-toward-your-name/561180.md?page=6)