# Your gender identification -or- What are you, a boy or a girl? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2018, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680 "2018-05-06T01:56:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/81 "2018-05-08T15:47:43Z")
Female here. I picked this username many moons ago and never really did like it. At least people pronounce it right, unlike my real name. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/82 "2018-05-08T15:56:02Z")
I’m a guy. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/83 "2018-05-08T18:14:17Z")
I have female plumbing, but never really felt like I was doing a very good job at being female. Most of the time I’m androgynous, in the sense that I don’t really feel like a girl _or_ a guy. I’m just me, and of the opinion that unless it’s somehow related to sexytimes (and since I’ve been happily married for almost thirty years that’s unlikely) it shouldn’t really matter what gender I am. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/84 "2018-05-08T18:52:03Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Tonight I learned that two Dopers I though were dudes are chicks. That’s cool. Please note that this is not intended so I can judge you, nor do I give two shits about Xs and Ys. Or about who you sleep with. I just want to use the third-person pronoun you prefer I use when I’m talking behind your back. > > Me Boy, my parents being Tarzan and Jane. In spite of the “a” at the end of my name, I’m a boy. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/85 "2018-05-08T18:56:28Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I have a penis and testicles, I don’t have a vagina, ovaries, or developed breasts, my facial hair grows out if I let it, and my voice is bass. I’ve never had my hormones or chromosomes tested, but I expect that they would probably come out with high testosterone and low estrogen, and XY. I’m attracted to women. And I’m fine with all of those facts. But I have no idea how to tell what my gender identity is. You are way over thinking this. Anyway, I’m a man, man, just like my handle implies. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/86 "2018-05-08T18:57:19Z")
Male to date. > [@Grumbacher\_Red](#): > > It’s a user name I rather regret. I like to paint, and I really like that color, and I have red hair, so the night I was registering there was a tube of it laying there…and now I am stuck with it. So, named after the last tube you used? “My name? H. Preparation H.” ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/87 "2018-05-08T19:01:20Z")
Woman, no question about it. ---
**Author:** ![BeepKillBeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@BeepKillBeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeepKillBeep)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/88 "2018-05-08T19:31:47Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > And here I thought that you had at least one mighty mechanical arm… _beep_ i leave that for my minions _beep_ ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/89 "2018-05-08T19:35:15Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Depends on the tone and the person. Is it a form of address they would normally use for women my age? Coming from you, the answer is “not”, so it would get you called _tocagüevos_. Over here they’re spelt “huevos.” 😃 > [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > You are way over thinking this. A lot of people are. I didn’t expect this to descend into mass self-reflection and debate, but how long have I hung out here? I shoulda knowed better. :o ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/90 "2018-05-08T19:41:06Z")
I am reminded of the classic New Yorker cartoon with the caption: \*\*On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog. \*\* Woof! (I assume my username provides the answer to the OP question) ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/91 "2018-05-08T19:42:33Z")
Boy, with boy parts, identified with masculine pronouns. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/92 "2018-05-08T19:44:06Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Woman, no question about it. Hubba, hubba! ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/93 "2018-05-08T19:47:31Z")
As the name implies. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/94 "2018-05-08T19:53:50Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > As the name implies. 🙂 You’re a flower? A wonderful variety of rice? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sveltington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@Sveltington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sveltington)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/95 "2018-05-08T20:23:48Z")
Female ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/96 "2018-05-08T20:27:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **BigT** : > > None of those really matter. When you describe yourself, do you call yourself a man or a woman? If you were introduced as “that woman over there is Chronos” would that fit with your perception of yourself? If someone asked where you were, and you overheard the answer as “Chronos? She’s over there,” would that seem incongruous or make perfect sense? Let’s say you make some sort of scientific discovery, and the headline in the news is “Woman discovers \_\_\_\_\_,” would that bother you in any way? (Feel free to substitute your real name for your username, of course.) But that’s not really it, either. To the extent that I call myself male, it’s because I’ve spent most of my life being told that a person with a penis, etc. is male. When I describe myself as a man, it’s because that’s the description people expect for a balding person with a moustache. It has nothing to do with any inherent sense of how I think about myself, and so when someone else who has a penis, and who would grow a moustache if not for regular shaving, and so on, says that she’s “really a woman”, I have no idea what she means by that. I’ll still refer to her as “her”, and so on, if that’s her preference, because that’s only polite, but I don’t understand it. ---
**Author:** ![mikecurtis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikecurtis/32/3284_2.png) [@mikecurtis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikecurtis)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/97 "2018-05-08T20:48:23Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > . . .it’s because I’ve spent most of my life being told that a person with a penis, etc. is male. . . It has nothing to do with any inherent sense of how I think about myself. . . I am certainly no expert (and maybe this is not the right thread for this discussion), but for some people it has everything to do with an inherent sense of how they think about themselves. Even tho they, like you, have been told all their life that they are a boy, that just feels wrong to them. They know, deep inside somewhere, that they are not a boy. That no matter what their physiology says and no matter what their family and friends say, they are a girl (or vice versa). Maybe when what youve been told all you life matches up with how you feel about yourself, it’s hard to tell one from the other - they meld into the same thing. mc ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/98 "2018-05-08T23:52:04Z")
I’m a woman, though I often get mistaken for a man. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2018, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/99 "2018-05-09T00:27:52Z")
I’m a dude. Tripler And yes. . . I abide. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2018, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680/100 "2018-05-09T03:28:43Z")
> [@mikecurtis](#): > > I am certainly no expert (and maybe this is not the right thread for this discussion), but for some people it has everything to do with an inherent sense of how they think about themselves. Even tho they, like you, have been told all their life that they are a boy, that just feels wrong to them. They know, deep inside somewhere, that they are not a boy. That no matter what their physiology says and no matter what their family and friends say, they are a girl (or vice versa). > > Maybe when what youve been told all you life matches up with how you feel about yourself, it’s hard to tell one from the other - they meld into the same thing. > > mc But that’s the thing. For me, neither is right. It’s not important enough to me to fuss over it, but there’s definitely a feeling that although ‘girl’ isn’t exactly right, ‘boy’ is just flat wrong. But it truly isn’t that vital or important. So… what’s the point of being all snowflake about it when it doesn’t matter that much? It’s not like there’s a particular identity that I resonate with to tell people to please call me x. So since there isn’t an option, and since the default social option is somewhat close anyway… eh ok? But I still feel like it’s not quite right. I guess if this whole pronouns thing gets rolling in general, ‘they’ is a good alternative option (‘it’ feels a little too dehumanizing) but really it’s not like I’m offended or confused or upset at feminine pronouns. On the flip side I’m also not upset when people online or at work think I’m male (my real life nickname is more commonly a male name: think Mike or Jo), but that’s usually because that means I get treated more respectfully and am less sexualized or infantalised by the people talking to me. It is however sometimes a surprise for me (when meeting in person the first time, or talking on the phone) that the other person DID think I was male - I had just been assuming they were being polite and professional. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-gender-identification-or-what-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/813680.md?page=6)