# Your greatest and most august mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 1, 2017, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550 "2017-08-01T06:12:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/61 "2017-08-03T23:34:19Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Um. There are people in the world (like me) who have impaired vision. I can _barely_ make out the menu boards when I’m starting right at the counter, but not at all otherwise. > > Why can’t they post a copy of the menu on the wall somewhere in the lobby?:mad: With prices and calorie counts, too, that’d be lovely. > > Though, no, I don’t hold up the line. I just order the same things – if there’s a fabulous new special I’d love, well, hopefully I’ll see a commercial for it or something. I feel a little OCD doing it, but I check all the fast food places out online (fat, sugar, calories, etc). Found some new favorite foods that way (McDonald’s Breakfast Burrito ain’t bad for me), but mostly learned to avoid some of my “food crushes”. All before I get into the restaurant, because I know how pissed I’d be if some grey-haired customer ahead of me was muttering “Waaaal, reckon it’s got a passel o’ sugar, but iffen ah skip thet there malted milk…” Oh, then I made the mistake of checking IHOP… nothing under like 1000 calories, and even the kids’ portions will kill you. I did stop there once since, and looked around. Yep, all but one of the diners were obese (and that one turned out to be an employee who showed up early to eat). ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/62 "2017-08-03T23:45:54Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > I’d be willing to bet their standards are a bit higher than a wheezing, chronic alcoholic, chain-smoking imbecile. If I’m not mistaken, there’s quite a gender imbalance among younger Chinese, which would mean women, being fewer, could be a good deal choosier, with so much competition among men. > [@ThelmaLou](#): > > P.S. I get video BILLS from AT&T. What’s up with that? I’ve never watched one. I’ll get an email with my AT&T bill, and then a separate email with a video version of the bill. Strange. And post-literacy advances. > [@Monty](#): > > Be happy. Be very happy. While I was assigned to an armor battalion, I discovered something I really did not want to know. When I was a tyke, of course “Number 1” and “Number 2” were explained to me, but the tankers upped the game more than a notch–all the way to “Number 11”. I was quite pleased to transfer away. Now I live in China and many of the public men’s rooms have spanking new number 11s. Nasty. I may not be happy once I find out, but what in the world is a “number 11”? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2017, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/63 "2017-08-03T23:47:51Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Because that makes it so much easier to snatch the purse or wallet from the passenger and take off on the scooter. Well, except for the whole navigating the scooter through a crowd of pedestrians bit. Luckily, though, purse snatching doesn’t seem to be a big thing in Korea. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/64 "2017-08-04T00:36:27Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Because the menu on the wall is too small to see until you get to the front of the line! That’s because all the fast food joints have crammed so many other items onto the menu (trying to pretend they’re a real restaurant) that they have to keep the print small to fit them all in. And to leave about a quarter of the menu space for flashing, animated advertisements. Lotteria in Korea has a solution to that: their menu on the wall is really a big screen television and the menu pages rotate through. They also have a nifty little self-ordering station where you can select your items as you scroll through the menu and pay there. You just wait for your number to be called and pick up the order. I’m still peeved at them, though, for no longer making my two favorites–“salad sandwich” (yeah, I know the thing was a cholesterol and calorie bomb, but damn it was good!) and “Lotteria green salad”. Oh, well. > [@Seanette](#): > > If I’m not mistaken, there’s quite a gender imbalance among younger Chinese, which would mean women, being fewer, could be a good deal choosier, with so much competition among men. No kidding! The men in China are complaining about the “checklist” the women’s parents expect them to tick off: well-paying job, having their own home, and having their own car. Theoretically arranged marriages have been outlawed since the early 1950s but don’t think there’s no pressure to marry whom the parents or grandparents have decided is “the right choice”. It’s so bad that a number of people, especially the females, hire pretend boyfriend/girlfriend (as the case may be) to accompany them on family visits during the biggest holidays. > [@Seanette](#): > > I may not be happy once I find out, but what in the world is a “number 11”? Imagine you’re in the can for a number 2. You finish your business and reach for the toilet paper. Alas! There is none. And you didn’t plan on that happening so you don’t have any with you. What do you do? Well, one option is to make the Cub Scout salute and wipe your butt with those two fingers. Then you wipe the same two fingers on the wall. What number do you see? I have never done such a nasty thing, nor do I plan to. I always–and I mean _always_–carry a pack of wet wipes with me. I don’t like using public restrooms, and especially in China where the public men’s rooms look like a septic tank exploded, I’m not going to be caught without something to keep myself clean. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/65 "2017-08-04T00:39:46Z")
The people at my new job are wonderful, but I _hate_ the open-layout office. No cubicle walls or anything. Everyone just sits at their desks and looks at each other. I finished my work early today, so around 3:30, I decided to surf the web. Almost immediately, my supervisor came up and gave me new work to do. Damn, damn, damn. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/66 "2017-08-04T01:13:28Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Imagine you’re in the can for a number 2. You finish your business and reach for the toilet paper. Alas! There is none. And you didn’t plan on that happening so you don’t have any with you. What do you do? Well, one option is to make the Cub Scout salute and wipe your butt with those two fingers. Then you wipe the same two fingers on the wall. What number do you see? [gag] [retch] Wishing I’d waited longer after dinner before seeing this. Adult human beings DO this? Grownups who are sober and do not have psychiatric or developmental issues in play? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/67 "2017-08-04T01:19:15Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > [gag] [retch] Wishing I’d waited longer after dinner before seeing this. > > Adult human beings DO this? Grownups who are sober and do not have psychiatric or developmental issues in play? I’ve seen it in schools. Oh, and “tower building”. I’ll leave that one to your imagination. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/68 "2017-08-04T01:32:31Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I feel a little OCD doing it, but I check all the fast food places out online (fat, sugar, calories, etc). Found some new favorite foods that way (McDonald’s Breakfast Burrito ain’t bad for me), but mostly learned to avoid some of my “food crushes”. > > All before I get into the restaurant, because I know how pissed I’d be if some grey-haired customer ahead of me was muttering “Waaaal, reckon it’s got a passel o’ sugar, but iffen ah skip thet there malted milk…” That’s probably a good idea. 'Cept generally we end up at fast food places unexpectedly when something else we’re doing took longer than expected or our plans got disrupted completely. Nevermind. If they can’t be bothered to provide a menu I can read, they can just forget about ever selling me a SuperDuperSpecialExtraBaconAndFudgeSauce Special. I’ve learned what I can ‘safely’ order at most of the common places and I’ll just stick to those basics. Like at McDonald’s it’s a McDouble and Diet Coke for 380 calories. Pretty low calorie and pretty damn cheap, too. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/69 "2017-08-04T01:49:02Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > I’ve seen it in schools. Oh, and “tower building”. I’ll leave that one to your imagination. Oh, I neglected to mention that for the “tower building”, that was for Asian-style squat commodes. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/70 "2017-08-04T11:57:53Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > I thought I had a solution to this because my roommate has a nice concealed-carry purse she keeps her handgun in. Turns out she got it at Goody’s twelve years ago and it’s not technically a concealed-carry purse. It has a compartment at the bottom that used to hold a change purse, but is also the right size for a handgun. > > So my suggestion is to get a time machine and go to a Goody’s in 2005. Well, thanks for checking. I’m gonna call that plan B. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/71 "2017-08-04T13:32:16Z")
Funniest thing I’ve heard all month: I go through the McDonald’s drive through and I’m sitting there waiting for my breakfast. Black Girl: “No Comprendo” White Girl: “Wait, doesn’t ‘comprendo’ mean ‘goodbye’?” ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/72 "2017-08-04T17:48:19Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Why not? They could go inside and cause a major delay there, why is that better? > > Don’t worry, I know the answer, which is that it’s better because it wouldn’t inconvenience you. Who cares if it makes someone else unhappy? > > p.s. see the next post after yours for why it’s not a good idea to take a bunch of kids inside a fast food place during a rush. At least inside there are 3 or 4 other terminals available. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/73 "2017-08-04T22:48:33Z")
**Dung Beetle** you don’t have to buy a new purse, you can buy a holster purse insert. They come in different sizes for both purse and weapon. Easy to find online, or check your local gun stores. My anti-rant/rant. My BFF has been evacuated 3 times since the middle of June and just had to haul her horses out AGAIN! 1 fire which burned down 22-28,000 acres (numbers aren’t in yet), then the flood caused by monsoons shortly after the fire, another flood 4 days later and then again today. She is not going to move her horses again until winter. They have a new home about 80 minutes away and will live there until she knows that the floods are over. The anti-rant part is that I don’t live there anymore. My last home is gone. The module home put up where Tony used to live is gone. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/74 "2017-08-05T00:46:24Z")
As discussed in the eclipse thread, I hereby Pit the makers of bogus eclipse glasses. There are zillions of possible scam opportunities, but while most of them may get your mark to part with their cash and give it to you, not that many also seriously risk your health (in this case your vision). Amoral scumbags. Jeezus beezus. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/75 "2017-08-05T01:58:51Z")
As I have pitted before, I need to pit again: damn the asshole who lived in my house before me. The lousy sonovabitch never did ANYTHING with a thought to maintenance or repairs. I have spent every morning this week working on plumbing in order to install a dishwasher. The water shut off valves were behind a wall under the sink. I had to cut through the back of a cabinet-- and then into the drywall! The hookup for the dishwasher fed into the wrong side of the drain line (and I suspect could be one reason the old dishwasher stopped worked properly and why it frequently smelled bad). It was so messed up I had to go all the way to the stack-- only to discover the drain pipe was wedged in between a hot water pipe and cold water pipe heading to the second floor. WTF? There was about 3 mm of clearance on ONE side. What the fucking fuck? In retrospect it would have been easier to come at this through the master bedroom – and cut through a century-old PLASTER AND LATHE WALL. What a fucking asswipe. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/76 "2017-08-05T18:32:44Z")
When I click on a link to a story on a news website, that does not mean I want a video to pop up and start elsewhere on the screen with someone jabbering at me while I’m trying to read. If I was one of those people who has to have everything spoon-fed to them in a video format, I would’ve clicked on a video link in the first place.\* A similar mini-rant against videos that start or cycle without your realizing it, so when you do want to hear a song or something and unmute the sound on your computer, there might be several audio feeds from past windows going on simultaneously. To hell with that. \*answering an online post in a debate/discussion by linking to a 30-minute YouTube video (without bothering to summarize the points made therein and why we should spend time viewing it) is the hallmark of a clueless dingbat. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/77 "2017-08-05T23:29:01Z")
I fell this afternoon. I was pulling up a weed behind the house, and I totally lost my balance. Right behind the house, between the back steps and the A/C unit. I fell on my right upper arm and right knee, and my head landed right up against the house. I’ll be 72 in less than 2 months, and IT TOOK ME OVER AN HOUR TO GET INTO A CRAWLING POSITION AND PULL MYSELF UP INTO THE HOUSE. For the most part, I was just lying there, deciding which part of my body to move first, and then gathering up the strength to move it. I had my iPhone in my pocket, and I struggled with the option of calling for help. But I’m stubborn. Of course this happened when my husband was out of town. The good news: nothing is broken, and all bruises are superficial. My right knee took a beating, but it wasn’t in great shape anyway. Several hours after the incident, I still feel weak and shaky. I’m having surgery Monday, and I hope I’m strong enough by then. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/78 "2017-08-05T23:36:23Z")
Sorry about your day, **panache45**. I hope you are ok in the morning. What sort of surgery are you having? And by the way, don’t be so stubborn. Next time call for help! ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/79 "2017-08-06T01:17:52Z")
Very mini, but frustrating. Flexible spending account that comes with a debit card so we don’t have to pay out of pocket; we use the card and it comes directly out of the fund. In late May my wife used the card for the copay for an eye appointment. Soon after that we get a letter from the FSA folks–they can’t substantiate the claim, aren’t sure it was for an eligible expense (because we _always_ buy bread at the eye doctor’s), we need to send them an explanation of benefits. Okay, I’m busy and it doesn’t seem urgent, so it takes a couple of weeks, but I do it. End of June, a “reminder” letter. Your card may be deactivated if you don’t send in your documentation now. I call. The guy I talk to says yes, they received it, it’s in the queue, should be resolved soon, sorry. I’m thinking it shouldn’t be sitting “in the queue” for this long, but hey, what do I know, I’m just the consumer. Earlier this week my wife tried to use the card: denied. Yesterday came official word: the card has been suspended. Why? Same thing: May’s visit to the eye doctor. I get on the phone. I talk to somebody different. After putting me on hold for almost ten minutes she says the documentation is still in the queue–either the guy I talked to forgot to send it on or he did and it didn’t take. She assures me she will send it expedited over to the folks who handle the turning off and on the cards. She assured me she will give me a call on Monday. She says she expects the card will be valid again on Tuesday. My fingers are crossed. But I ain’t a happy camper. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/80 "2017-08-06T04:01:23Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Sorry about your day, **panache45**. I hope you are ok in the morning. What sort of surgery are you having? And by the way, don’t be so stubborn. Next time call for help! Yes please. One of the biggest problems with people falling down and hurting themselves is that too often help takes very long to arrive because “I didn’t want to be a bother”. Don’t be those people, the person you’ll hurt most is yourself and the second you’ll hurt most is your husband. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550.md?page=5)