# Your greatest and most august mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 1, 2017, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550 "2017-08-01T06:12:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2017, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/141 "2017-08-13T00:55:55Z")
Did you all know that the next time you renew your Amazon Prime they are going to start charging you a monthly fee for the Prime movies? I’m so annoyed with them right now, I’m about to dump my prime. I bought eclipse protection glasses back in April. Today I got an email that they are probably counterfeit and I shouldn’t use them. Where the hell am I going to replace them now? I don’t want a damned refund, I want some damned eclipse glasses. This SO majorly sucks. I wish I could sneak into Jeff’s bathroom and hide his toilet paper so he thinks he has it but when he really really needs it it won’t be there. ---
**Author:** ![UCBearcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/77aa72/32.png) [@UCBearcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UCBearcats)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2017, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/142 "2017-08-13T01:31:42Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > Did you all know that the next time you renew your Amazon Prime they are going to start charging you a monthly fee for the Prime movies? I’m so annoyed with them right now, I’m about to dump my prime. I bought eclipse protection glasses back in April. Today I got an email that they are probably counterfeit and I shouldn’t use them. Where the hell am I going to replace them now? I don’t want a damned refund, I want some damned eclipse glasses. This SO majorly sucks. > > I wish I could sneak into Jeff’s bathroom and hide his toilet paper so he thinks he has it but when he really really needs it it won’t be there. Jeff can wipe his ass with 100’s and he won’t miss them. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2017, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/143 "2017-08-13T03:35:05Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > My coffeemaker decided to brew a half-inch of coffee and then give up. :mad: My gas grill ran out of propane today. It always happens half-way through cooking a great meal, always on a Saturday or Friday night. I get my tank refilled at a full-service propane dealer, no swapping tanks for me, but they’re not open on weekends. I suppose I could get two tanks, or check it before the weekend, but that’s no fun… ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2017, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/144 "2017-08-13T15:28:49Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > Did you all know that the next time you renew your Amazon Prime they are going to start charging you a monthly fee for the Prime movies? I’m so annoyed with them right now, I’m about to dump my prime. I bought eclipse protection glasses back in April. Today I got an email that they are probably counterfeit and I shouldn’t use them. Where the hell am I going to replace them now? I don’t want a damned refund, I want some damned eclipse glasses. This SO majorly sucks. > > I wish I could sneak into Jeff’s bathroom and hide his toilet paper so he thinks he has it but when he really really needs it it won’t be there. I’m so glad I took the 30-day free trial (ditto for Amazon Fresh) and already told both that I won’t be renewing, I don’t care how many reminders you give me every time I log on. If I had that money to spend, I’d rather spend it on something not related to Amazon. Plus I watch Netflix a lot more than Prime. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/145 "2017-08-13T17:41:15Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > Did you all know that the next time you renew your Amazon Prime they are going to start charging you a monthly fee for the Prime movies? I’m so annoyed with them right now, I’m about to dump my prime. I bought eclipse protection glasses back in April. Today I got an email that they are probably counterfeit and I shouldn’t use them. Where the hell am I going to replace them now? I don’t want a damned refund, I want some damned eclipse glasses. This SO majorly sucks. > > I wish I could sneak into Jeff’s bathroom and hide his toilet paper so he thinks he has it but when he really really needs it it won’t be there. Cite? I can’t find anything about this even as a rumor. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/146 "2017-08-14T13:24:18Z")
A pox on the Emerald Ash Borer! A pox, a pestilence, a swarm of wasps descend upon them and devour them entirely! These asshole beetles are killing trees in my neighbourhood and across the East, and last week city workers took down a bunch of dead trees in my back alley. Of course, in doing so the workers managed to mangle four bushes I planted last year, and punch a hole in my shed. So far all I can see is the hole in the siding, but the entire wall is bowed in at that section, so I suspect there’s a nice hole in the wood too. (No, I can’t tell from inside the shed. The shed has interior walls too to meet fire code. ) At a MINIMUM I have to take down all the siding on that side of the shed. fuuuccckk. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/147 "2017-08-14T15:23:05Z")
Arrrhhhgggg! My Nexus 5x is stuck in a bootloop and is now functionally a brick. Stuck using my old Nexus 4 for a few months until I can save for a new phone. Why did I ever start using smartphones?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Pippers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b5a626/32.png) [@Pippers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pippers)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/148 "2017-08-14T15:42:05Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > That reminds me … I also had two Keurig coffee makers die on me in this house too. I just had that problem alleviated in the form a birthday present: a french press. If I don’t have to plug it in I figure it won’t die on me. I vote you get off your ass and get the place sold. Out west is a lovely place to be. 😛 ps sounds more like a house wiring problem than an Indian burial site, but the latter could be true. Electrical problems are like plumbing problems - awful. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/149 "2017-08-14T17:11:50Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > My gas grill ran out of propane today. It always happens half-way through cooking a great meal, always on a Saturday or Friday night. I get my tank refilled at a full-service propane dealer, no swapping tanks for me, but they’re not open on weekends. I suppose I could get two tanks, or check it before the weekend, but that’s no fun… I’m a big fan of having two tanks since I had to finish one too many great meals with the stove/oven. And it’s not like the gas expires in anything short of decades. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/150 "2017-08-14T17:21:57Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > I’m a big fan of having two tanks since I had to finish one too many great meals with the stove/oven. And it’s not like the gas expires in anything short of decades. I’d be happy if I could use our grill at least once this summer. Our neighborhood was invaded by squirrels from hell last summer. They ate through everyone’s gas lines. We replaced ours, only to have it eaten through again without realizing it because they chewed through the back side (yes, there’s a story about chicken and the wafting scent of propane). A couple of my neighbors replaced theirs then got those flexible metal covers for them. Most of them, including us, didn’t bother. And yes, I’ve got a full tank of propane there too. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/151 "2017-08-14T18:12:39Z")
Fucking Squirrels. :mad: In my old house in the city, I used to live trap them and then walk out early in the morning, look around to see that no one was looking, stick the barrel of my .22 rifle through and shoot them. Then quickly put the gun in the house and dispose of the carcass. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/152 "2017-08-14T19:17:58Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Fucking Squirrels. :mad: > > In my old house in the city, I used to live trap them and then walk out early in the morning, look around to see that no one was looking, stick the barrel of my .22 rifle through and shoot them. Then quickly put the gun in the house and dispose of the carcass. I’d rather have squirrel issues than someone shooting them. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/153 "2017-08-14T19:19:22Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Fucking Squirrels. :mad: > > In my old house in the city, I used to live trap them and then walk out early in the morning, look around to see that no one was looking, stick the barrel of my .22 rifle through and shoot them. Then quickly put the gun in the house and dispose of the carcass. Why??? ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/154 "2017-08-14T19:59:21Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > I’d rather have squirrel issues than someone shooting them. Seriously? My SIL had a squirrel come up on her porch and eat the pillows off her chairs. Nope, not an animal I want living in my neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/155 "2017-08-15T06:27:24Z")
Dear visiting dog, I understand that you are a discarded hunting dog and that you may have limited experience of indoor living. I understand, too, that you have been drinking copious amounts of water[sup]\*[/sup] and that this, inevitably, leads to your need to express copious amounts of urine. But did you have to express it on my good hiking shoes? The ones I got for an absolutely fantastic bargain at REI? The ones that are comfortable yet don’t look totally stupid? Can’t wait until you leave, cwthree [sup]\*[/sup]Yes, I will advise his owner to ask the vet to evaluate him for diabetes. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/156 "2017-08-15T06:34:06Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Drives me fucking insane it does, how on an Android phone the leyboard differs between search functions and all the others. > > When searching, the space bar shifts and becomes smaller, making.people.type.with.periods.instead.of.spaces. > > Why? Why do this? Why not make the keyboard standard across all functions? Do we really need the “.com” button to appear when conducting a search? C’mon, Google, fix this shit. I endorse this rant and wish to execrate Facebook’s Android client as well: People over the age of 12 need the “return” key more than they need a speedy way to bring up a list of emoji. I shouldn’t have to long-press to start a new paragraph. At the very least, I should be able to turn the emoji menu off, or make _it_ require a long press. I should be able to use the return key in Facebook the same way I use it in every other application on my phone. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/157 "2017-08-15T11:02:16Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Dear visiting dog, > > I understand that you are a discarded hunting dog and that you may have limited experience of indoor living. I understand, too, that you have been drinking copious amounts of water[sup]\*[/sup] and that this, inevitably, leads to your need to express copious amounts of urine. But did you have to express it on my good hiking shoes? The ones I got for an absolutely fantastic bargain at REI? The ones that are comfortable yet don’t look totally stupid? > > Can’t wait until you leave, > cwthree > > [sup]\*[/sup]Yes, I will advise his owner to ask the vet to evaluate him for diabetes. To get rid of the aroma, try [these](https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/moso-natural-air-purifying-bag/3278371?skuId=44993788&mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_homedecor_online&product_id=44993788&adtype=pla_multichannel&product_channel=online&adpos=1o4&creative=43742653069&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrZGbgYvZ1QIVSIV-Ch1omA-5EAQYBCABEgIVX_D_BwE) odor absorbers. My DH has had to get rid of urine smell several times and these have worked each time. Occasionally takes a few days but works great. Re-usable after a day in the sun. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/158 "2017-08-15T12:26:31Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > To get rid of the aroma, try [these](https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/moso-natural-air-purifying-bag/3278371?skuId=44993788&mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_homedecor_online&product_id=44993788&adtype=pla_multichannel&product_channel=online&adpos=1o4&creative=43742653069&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrZGbgYvZ1QIVSIV-Ch1omA-5EAQYBCABEgIVX_D_BwE) odor absorbers. My DH has had to get rid of urine smell several times and these have worked each time. Occasionally takes a few days but works great. Re-usable after a day in the sun. Thanks, I’ll try those. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/159 "2017-08-15T17:09:05Z")
If anyone uses the term ‘fake news’ in my presence in a non-mocking way, I will spit in their face. I am tired of these bozos. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550/160 "2017-08-15T17:27:33Z")
My allegedly professional organization has a very poorly designed and frustrating website which tends to malfunction after hours and on weekends, when I have the time to use it. After numerous attempts at accomplishing a necessary task online, I reached an actually helpful customer service rep, who initially was unable to walk me through the process and asked if I could give her my website username and password so she could try it. Well, OK (my password is (organization)sux666. :o Fortunately she laughed instead of getting offended. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-greatest-and-most-august-mini-rants/792550.md?page=9)