# Your holodeck time **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 6, 2010, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208 "2010-06-06T23:14:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/81 "2010-06-09T14:14:08Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > in my new mental landscape, we were arguing about whether it would be acceptable to have Natalie Portman appear naked in the next Star Trek movie. No. Unless she learns how to act. > [@Magiver](#): > > I’d be barn storming across the United States during the early years of aviation in a single seat biplane while looking over the shoulder of the woman I love. No reason I can’t share my fantasies with a real person and get a little something-something time in. Exactly how… _closely_… are the two of you “sitting” in that seat? Also, are you sure it’s wise to be so… distracted… while flying a primitive airplane? > [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > If these are holograms, the jizz just sprays all over the place then? That’s even worse. IIRC, holodecks are run with a trifecta of replicators, holograms, and tractor beams. So anything you touch is physically real. Anything you fuck is a meatpuppet. And since the holodeck can disassemble at the end of the session everything it created, presumably it can also take care of anything you’ve… produced as well. Mmmmmmeatpuppet! > [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](#): > > I will run the perfect table-top RPG game with agreeable players who will improvise, role-play, do not engage in rules lawyering and provide me, the GM, a good time. Since it’s a holodeck, why not LARP it? ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/82 "2010-06-09T14:25:59Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > Sir Galahad in the Castle Anthrax. _Without_ Sir Lancelot showing up. Holodeck: Safety Protocol Error. Too Perilous. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/83 "2010-06-09T15:03:54Z")
> [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](#): > > I will run the perfect table-top RPG game with agreeable players who will improvise, role-play, **do not engage in rules lawyering** and provide me, the GM, a good time. _This is my quest To follow that star No matter how hopeless No matter how far_ Everybody! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/84 "2010-06-09T15:15:06Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Since it’s a holodeck, why not LARP it? why would I want to get sweaty and out-of-breath? 🙂 “Computer, Twinkie. Cream filling. Stale.” ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/85 "2010-06-09T15:34:46Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > And since the holodeck can disassemble at the end of the session everything it created, presumably it can also take care of anything you’ve… produced as well. If I were designing the Holodeck, one of the basic safety protocols would be: Nothing that comes in the door goes out the door, and nothing goes away with the holoplay. It’s the slippery slope starting with holo-hoovering jism, sweat and blood, then includes teeth that get knocked out, and ends with dematerializing the ensign. Especially in a multicultural federation, where the ensign could be difficult to identify as organic or alive in the first place. You wouldn’t want the holodeck to remove your dead skin and hair after you’ve been holo-mud-wrestling. This would be why I have them dress up before they walk in, and any bloodstains or ejaculate have to be cleaned up with mops. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/86 "2010-06-09T16:21:42Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > If I were designing the Holodeck, one of the basic safety protocols would be: Nothing that comes in the door goes out the door Er, did you mean that \*everything \*that comes in the door goes out the door? Because otherwise I’m pretty sure we’re in a “Hotel California” situation. ETA: Note to self: Remember to use the bathroom \*before \*I go to the holodeck. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/87 "2010-06-09T16:30:26Z")
You don’t REALLY think the person on the transporter pad is the same person after transport, do you? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/88 "2010-06-09T16:33:46Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Er, did you mean that \*everything \*that comes in the door goes out the door? Because otherwise I’m pretty sure we’re in a “Hotel California” situation. > > ETA: Note to self: Remember to use the bathroom \*before \*I go to the holodeck. Yeah, that, that thing you said that sounded smarter. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/89 "2010-06-09T17:08:52Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > You don’t REALLY think the person on the transporter pad is the same person after transport, do you? No, but they have the exact same structure and memories, so it might as well be. Of course, sometimes you end up with hilarious accidents [del]that introduce the possibility for hot hot Riker-on-Riker action[/del]. > [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Yeah, that, that thing you said that sounded smarter. Oh, I dunno. “Sorry, can’t come in to work today–trapped in a magical land of fantasy forever” has a certain ring to it. Although, uh, not so much when the feces start piling up. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/90 "2010-06-09T17:16:30Z")
It’s only your FIRST trip on a transporter that hurts…and only a little bit, as your soul is ripped from your corporeal existence. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/91 "2010-06-09T17:34:15Z")
I’m all for the federation’s dedication to multiculturalism, but if there’s an ensign that the scanners can’t differentiate from jism, I really don’t want to be working next to him, you know? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/92 "2010-06-09T17:42:00Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > I’m all for the federation’s dedication to multiculturalism, but if there’s an ensign that the scanners can’t differentiate from jism, I really don’t want to be working next to him, you know? Speciesist. I’ll have you know, the Jismoonie of Planet Wankov IV have a fascinating culture, and they are not all terrorists. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/93 "2010-06-09T17:52:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Never mind. I’ve already wiped my memory of the exchange; in my new mental landscape, we were arguing about whether it would be acceptable to have Natalie Portman appear naked in the next Star Trek movie. That doesn’t make sense… Where’s the argument? Of course it’s acceptable for Natalie Portman to appear naked, regardless of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/94 "2010-06-09T19:53:22Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > It’s only your FIRST trip on a transporter that hurts…and only a little bit, as your soul is ripped from your corporeal existence. But _how would you remember_? Once you’re recorporealized on the other end, how can the new body have any knowledge of the pain of losing something it’s never had? > [@Chronos](#): > > That doesn’t make sense… Where’s the argument? Of course it’s acceptable for Natalie Portman to appear naked, regardless of the movie. But for her to be _naked_, she has to be \*in \*it. Presumably replacing someone who can actually _act_. Eh, maybe she’d do an okay job with a decent script. But all I can think of is Star Wars and **UR BREAKIN MY \<3 :‘’‘’'(** ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/95 "2010-06-09T20:48:56Z")
> [@Capcha](#): > > I have no cite/background to base this on, but i’d think that the holodeck parameters would prohibit the crew from certain things…like rape, killing crew replicas…etc Actually no, at least not for the latter. When Tuvok mind melded with a psychotic crew member in Voyager he absorbed part of his murderous tendancies and started to feel violent impulses. It ended up being so strong he strangled a holo-Neelix to death (well, who wouldn’t?). Bear in mind this is in the Voyager era of Trek when hand wringing and namby pambyism was at its most rife. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/96 "2010-06-09T20:53:22Z")
Tuvok also wrote a mutiny program for the holodeck, intended as a security training program, during which it was possible to kill holo-crewmates. Of course, things didn’t quite work out as planned… ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/97 "2010-06-09T21:05:47Z")
It is a toss-up for me between participating in a holonovel with me as the protagonist being a superhero (Green Lantern comes to mind) or a D&D wizard. If the holonovel just happens to include a romantic interest (perhaps Jean Grey), then I would go along because after all it IS just a holonovel. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/98 "2010-06-10T09:30:53Z")
> [@Nature\_s\_Call](#): > > Anyone who abuses their holodeck privileges will be assigned holodeck cleanup duty. > > Eeew! I just stopped by to say this is a hilarious username/post combo. ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/99 "2010-06-10T10:55:00Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Since it’s a holodeck, why not LARP it? What can I say? I am old school. But I will definitely will use the capability of holodeck to materialize important props, miniatures, dice, maps - whatever I need, on the fly. Change the background scenery and set the mood music too. > [@silenus](#): > > This is my quest > To follow that star > No matter how hopeless > No matter how far Ha. Precisely why all the players are to be generated by the holo-deck. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208/100 "2010-06-10T11:55:17Z")
I would like to (pretend to be) young and healthy again. That done, endless parachuting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-holodeck-time/542208.md?page=6)