# Your Horoscope For The Day. As Cast by Enderw24.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 16, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251 "2001-01-16T01:03:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/21 "2001-01-16T04:10:46Z")

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Singer  
Pisces  
Cloquet, Minnesota

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**Author:** ![fenrir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/43a26b/32.png) [@fenrir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fenrir)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/22 "2001-01-16T04:26:42Z")

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Ok i have to admit.My buddies do call me jesus. Could you give me the lottery numbers for saturday night ? I’ll split it with you.

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**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/23 "2001-01-16T05:41:15Z")

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The Endrodamous must point out something to the Ignorant Millions. Some of you loyal followers of my teachings feel that I have erred in my ways. You feel that I have led you astray and, quite valiantly I should say, tried to correct me. “Aquarius is air.”  
It’s time now to come clean. The science of astrology is nothing more than outdated mumbo jumbo. It is the 21st century now and as times change, so must we in our understanding of the universe. If you have the strength and courage, follow me on my continued journey of enlightenment. Those wishing to stay in the dark ages of the Greeks and Romans, may continue to wallow in aqueducts of disappear and with the Trojan Horse of Doomsub[/sub]

now then, let us continue.

> [@](#):
>
> Serendipity Student  
> Pisces  
> Albany, NY

Ah pisces, the well known sign for the Three-toed sloth. Suitable too, being from New York. We all know how slow they move. It’s just a blase ` attitude with the lot of you. Your name, serendipity, is a valiant but futile attempt to escape your fate. You too will succumb to the molasses like existence of the community surrounding you. Already you feel it tugging on you to slow down as you watch “Temptation Island” on Fox and reruns of Family Feud and Tic-Tac-Dough on the Gameshow network. Soon, you will be nothing more than a quivering bowl of jelly, as you think to yourself “I have no mouth, but I must scream!” \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

> [@](#):
>
> chique Some-time student  
> Aquarius  
> Milaca, MN

I see you growing out your hair long enough to braid. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

> [@](#):
>
> andygirl student/journalist  
> Gemini  
> Hanover, NH/Lewes, DE

Ah, gemini. I sense you being trapped inside a metallic room while two identical robots dance around you, hopping off walls, while they fire lasers at you that continually bounce around until hitting their target. I see you scratching your head because you have no idea what I’m talking about. Those that do are the enlightened few. Ah, but twins we talk about. I see a dual personality in you. You are a student and a journalist. A person who lives in NH and DE. A lover and a fighter. Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria this causes you and will continue to cause you as your dual lives grow further and further apart. Learn the ways of the force and all will become clear. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

> [@](#):
>
> Sassy Sassy Goddess of Logistics and a few other things  
> Scorpio  
> San Francisco

Logistics? And you came here for advice? Endrodamous thinks you need a new profession. I see you, in the height of irony, being run over by a trolley carrying cases of Rice-a-Roni. Of course Scorpio, being the symbol for cute and fuzzy bunnies, means you’ll get off with just a flesh wound. Overconfident now, you’ll walk into a bear trap where you must gnaw your own leg off to survive. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

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**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/24 "2001-01-16T06:00:47Z")

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All righty!

Astroboy: teacher/dot com starter-uper  
Aries  
Ann Arbor, MI  
Tell me, tellme **tellme**!!

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**Author:** ![Kerrigan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/49beb7/32.png) [@Kerrigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kerrigan)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/25 "2001-01-16T06:19:10Z")

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Student/musician  
Virgo  
Dallas, Texas

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**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/26 "2001-01-16T06:39:39Z")

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Lazy ass pipe smoker (hope to drive a van to Alaska in a couple months, if that counts  
Libra  
Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada

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**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/27 "2001-01-16T06:44:51Z")

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IKEA co-worker/student  
Taurus/Gemini (I was born on the cusp,you pick)  
Baltimore, MD

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**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/28 "2001-01-16T07:07:19Z")

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QA Analyst  
Scorpio  
Annapolis, MD

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**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/29 "2001-01-16T07:36:04Z")

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Baker  
Capricorn  
Topeka, Kansas

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**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/30 "2001-01-16T12:41:07Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by andygirl \*  
> \*\*andygirl student/journalist  
> Gemini  
> Hanover, NH/Lewes, DE \*\*

Just had to point this out. does anyone see the Irony in a Gemini having dual locations? 😉

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/31 "2001-01-16T13:56:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \*  
> **Aries**
> 
> Tell me, tellme **tellme**!! \*\*

There’s something to be said about immediate gratification and lack of patience. 😃

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**Author:** ![idiotboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@idiotboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiotboy)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/32 "2001-01-16T13:59:29Z")

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I’m intrigued…

Student/Programmer  
Leo  
Columbus, Ohio

And I’m the first Leo, I see…

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**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/33 "2001-01-16T14:21:45Z")

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Okay, we can do this.

I’m a Dual Majored College Student (Chem Eng and Philosophy)  
In Pittsburgh, PA  
I’m a Cancer (but isn’t that obvious?)

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**Author:** ![Broken\_Doll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Broken\_Doll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Doll)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/34 "2001-01-16T14:53:12Z")

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Student/part-time lazy slob  
Capricorn  
Brisbane, Australia

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**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/35 "2001-01-16T15:20:03Z")

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By publicly confirming that I live in the hospital dumpster, you are in violation of attorney-dumpster confidentiality laws. Only my tremendous respect for you and your prognostication acumen is stopping me from discussing this with the lawyer in the dumpstrer next to me.

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**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/36 "2001-01-16T15:39:46Z")

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OK…

Document Analyst  
Libra  
Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA

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**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/37 "2001-01-16T15:42:59Z")

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Arkon, Dark Lord of Chaos

Student/Evil Overlord  
Scorpio  
Chicago, IL

I have returned.

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**Author:** ![Arthur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/958977/32.png) [@Arthur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arthur)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/38 "2001-01-16T15:45:10Z")

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High-School Student  
Sagatarius  
Toronto, Scarborough

Having problems with a certain someone, wodnering if it will ever be the same.

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**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/39 "2001-01-16T15:59:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Mauvaise Occupation: Submittal Queen  
> Sign: Pisces  
> Place of birth: Monterey, California

Submittal Queen, eh? Well, Endrodamous has a few predictions he’d like to test out.  
Pisces, the sign of a giant regifted fruitcake, is an interesting sign indeed. It shows all the colors of the rainbow, just like you. But you must watch out for the color purple, for that is not a fruit, but merely the fruitcake being left out in the sun too long. Just like you, fruity California girl.\*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

> [@](#):
>
> porcupine Software Engineer currently working in Network Management  
> Pisces  
> Chicago

“Software Engineer currently working in Network Management?” How much longer do you want your title to be? Talk about long winded, here. You use buzz words like paradigm and upshifting, knowing full well you wouldn’t understand those words if a dictionary smacked you full on across the face. My prediction? Your employees will trap you in a closet where you will literally talk yourself to death. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

> [@](#):
>
> Monster104 Student  
> Taurus  
> Los Angeles

You claim to be a student, but of what? I know of what. Emulating your brother. You long to be known on these boards as the doper with the most vile disgusting habits. Within the next three months, you will have succeeded as you post of your conquests at molesting, on three seperate occasions, Otzi, the gay caveman. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\
**Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/40 "2001-01-16T16:17:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Silver Fire Singer  
> Pisces  
> Cloquet, Minnesota

You know you won’t get anywhere singing in Minnesota. Within the next six months, you will move to LA to pursue a record contract. Times are hard though, and you will find that the only singing you can get hired for is filling in the sound effects for pornos. Bow-chica-bow-bow-ba-ba-bow.\*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

Fenrir, Endrodamous has no need for your terrestrial money. He lives off the stars, he feeds off the moons, he hovers around Ur…no, Endrodamous promised he wouldn’t.

> [@](#):
>
> Astroboy14 teacher/dot com starter-uper  
> Aries  
> Ann Arbor, MI

You learn that your true callng as a teacher is in boys gym class. In a true stroke of genius, you find a way to combine both professions as one when you use the internet to broadcast hidden camera lockerroom tapes. [Astroboy69.com](http://Astroboy69.com) rockets to $70 a share on the Dow Jones the day it opens as the entire world loses all sense of morals. You singlehandidly destroy the planet. Congrats. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

> [@](#):
>
> Kerrigan Student/musician  
> Virgo  
> Dallas, Texas

As a student musician, your CD single “Farmer in the Dell in the key somewhere between E and F” hits number one on the billboard for 18 straight weeks. Brittney Spears does the vocals. Coincidently, she’s a “virgo” too. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

> [@](#):
>
> Upham Lazy ass pipe smoker (hope to drive a van to Alaska in a couple months, if that counts  
> Libra  
> Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada

It is not a matter of what you hope to do! It is what I, Endrodamous, say you WILL do. You will star in the upcoming movie “Half-Baked 3: where the hell did we put Half-Baked 2?” Acting will give you great experience to do what you’ve always dreamed of doing: become president of the United States. You forgoe your Canadian roots and settle down in a civilized country for once. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\*

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