# Your Horoscope For The Day. As Cast by Enderw24. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 16, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251 "2001-01-16T01:03:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/61 "2001-01-17T16:11:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > > In what can only be called a bold move, you cut out your eyes, your ears and your tongue. With only your sense of vibration to guide you now, you embark on a most perilous journey: playing the silver ball. You move to Soho, and between that and Brighten, you will have played them all. Hundreds will cheer you on and clap your back as they mutter to themselves, “man, that deaf dumb and blind ex-Senior Programmer/Analyst sure plays a mean pinball.” And your supple wrist will sure impress the lovers. **So I have written, so it shall pass!** \* Actually, my eyes, ears and tongue seem to be deserting me all on their own without any help from me. I **do** like the idea of impressing lovers, but a _supple wrist_ isn’t exactly what I’d like to impress them **with.** Although it could be useful in the shower. I would much rather have been the one to smack Laura Schlessinger up side the head, as that has long been a dream of mine, but I guess one can’t argue wuth fate. However, I **did** cheat fate at pinochle once. Thanks **Ender.** ---
**Author:** ![HannibalV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@HannibalV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HannibalV)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/62 "2001-01-17T17:12:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > HannibalV: Out-of-work PC Technician > > Sagittarius > > Albany, NY > > I see elephants. Lots and lots of elephants. You’ll use them to cross the I-90 and go up I-81 (where most of the drivers will ignore you because it’s New York and they’ve seen weirder). Crossing Lake Ontario, you’ll take invade Canada and convert those Maple Syrup drinking bastards to the American way. Be sure to bring your passport. People from far and wide will hear you cry “Today Ogdensburg, tomorrow the world!” \*\* So I have written, so it shall pass!\*\* > > \*\* That’s pretty cool. Anyone want to join me? I’m going to need other people to help me wrangle the elephants. Hey, we could install **matt\_mcl** as our governor-general. Any thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/63 "2001-01-17T17:22:30Z")
**Silo:** CS-Student/Construction subcontractor Gemini Midlothian, Va. ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/64 "2001-01-17T18:08:30Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Purd Werfect Technical Writer > Scorpio > Santa Cruz, CA\*\* > > Endrodamous loathes the tactless, malodorous airs that exude from the egos of the Technical Writers. Their loquacious style and perfectionist tendencies supercede, at least in their tiny hypothalamus they consider gray matter, those foolish pedantic perfunctory trilobites of a fellow co-worker. They flaunt their fluid mastery of the Shakespearean dialect as if that were the Ivory Tower when the certain veracity is that it’s actually the Tower of Babel. You, sir, are not so much a cunning linguist as you perceive yourself to be. \*\* So I have written, so it shall pass!\*\* It’s funny 'cause it’s true! Thanks Endrodamous! ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/65 "2001-01-17T19:01:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HannibalV \* > > That’s pretty cool. Anyone want to join me? I’m going to need other people to help me wrangle the elephants. > > Hey, we could install **matt\_mcl** as our governor-general. Any thoughts? \*\* I’ll join. If I am fated never to conquer this world, the least I can do is put it in the hands of a Hannibal. ---
**Author:** ![Viscera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/258eb7/32.png) [@Viscera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viscera)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/66 "2001-01-18T11:06:04Z")
Meteorologist Gemini Chicago, IL ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/67 "2001-01-18T16:41:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Silo: CS-Student/Construction subcontractor > Gemini > Midlothian, Va. Computer science will not be your true love in life. Neither will construction, but you’ll find that it plays a part. No, you will revolutionize the world by reviving The Village People. With such hit songs as “Nail it with your hammer”, and “Daddy’s comin’ home” as well as your new wave tune “Attack of the Cyclops” you’ll shoot right up to number one on the charts. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\* > [@](#): > > Viscera Meteorologist > Gemini > Chicago, IL The weatherman wants me to give _him_ predictions? Endrodamous laughs. \*\*So I have written, so it shall pass! \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Isabella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Queen\_Isabella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Isabella)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/68 "2001-01-18T16:50:51Z")
Student Taurus Salt Lake City, Utah ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/69 "2001-01-19T16:57:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Queen Isabella Student > Taurus > Salt Lake City, Utah I see black. Deep black. A black dot covering your fortune. It moves, it wavers, but it’s ever present. It’s moving to the right, wait wait it’s still moving to the right. OK, now it’s moving to the left. I can’t catch the black dot. Everywhere I look, there it is, but just one step ahead of me. Strangely, Endrodamous finds black in people’s fortunes a lot right after he stares at the sun. For you I see great joy. Shiny happy people holding hands and bright bright bright bright sunshiny days. Moonbeams and lolipops, and of course, a penis. [_man hidden in dome covering up front_]:[sub]happiness.[/sub] What? [_man_][sub]HAPPINESS![/sub] ah, yes yes. Endrodamous has consulted the stars, and sees great happiness for you. > [@](#): > > Zenster > I didn’t provide any information because I didn’t think I’d get a fortune told about me. HA! Shows what you know. I, Endrodamous, see and hear and know everything. Living in a small island 30 miles South-Southwest of Borneo, you will travel to America to search out your twin brother. Little did you know about the Alien invasion taking place. Recruited into the Intergalactic Starleague because you had the highest score on a video game, you find your way to the mothership and download a virus from your laptop. Escaping just in the nick of time, but not before rescuing the princess, (who was in another castle…j-u-s-t-k-i-d-d-i-n-g-H-A-!-H-A-!) you summon all your courage for the final sword fight between you and the badguy. “Hello, my name is Zenster, you are my brother’s cousin’s best friend’s ex college roommate, prepare to die” you scream as you charge in. But of all the swordfights in all the worlds, the princess had to walk into yours. You slay the princess through the heart, and in the process the bad guy kills you. Turns out it was your twin brother from up above. Didn’t see that one coming, did you? As people mourn your death, the Japanese in the funeral procession say “Maybe there’s a little bit of Zenster in all of us.” With a flash of light, a puff of smoke, and a wave of his wand (no, not that one), Endrodamous sweeps up his cape and disappears into the night. Just like that :snap: he was gone. My guess is you’ll never see him again. The End…? [sub]Insert Flash Gordon manaical laughter here[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251/70 "2001-01-19T22:12:03Z")
Congratulations on a job well done **Ender**! Some of your replies were true howlers. Of all the threads I have started for others recently, you alone have acquitted yourself with honors. Your humor is one of the true treasures of the SDMB. I always look forward to opening a thread by you. One again, kudos for a superb bit of wit, Chris PS: You were the only one who bothered to get around to dishing it up on yours truly, for that you get extra points. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-horoscope-for-the-day-as-cast-by-enderw24/50251.md?page=3)