# Your Instant Deal-Breakers For Dating **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898 "2010-03-01T18:56:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/261 "2010-04-26T15:58:15Z")
Sorry for hijacking this thread yall. A strong belief in astrology turns out to be a deal-breaker I didn’t learn I had until recently. Once I went out with a guy who said he wouldn’t date someone if they had the wrong sign. Even though he wasn’t talking about me, just knowing he based major life decisions on the alignment of celestial objects was too much to swallow. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/262 "2010-04-26T16:14:31Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Have you ever heard the old adage - if you want to know what your bf will be like as a husband? Look at how he treats his mom. Want to know how a woman will be as a wife? Look how she treats her dad. > > Also - if you want to know what your girlfriend will look like in 10 years - look at her mom. > > I just wonder if any of those kind of things play as dealbreakers for anyone. Or, y’know, the fact that someone you are dating has a really intolerable friend or family member that they put up with - does that become a dealbreaker? Totally. My ex treated his family like crap. His mother waited on him hand and foot and he was so rude and disrespectful to her, it was alarming. That, coupled with how he treated his ex and daugther, eventually led me to leave. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/263 "2010-04-26T19:31:55Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Sorry for hijacking this thread yall. So am I. I’ll be off now. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/264 "2010-04-26T19:43:16Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Also - if you want to know what your girlfriend will look like in 10 years - look at her mom. This might work and might not. Partly that my mom is more than 10 years older than me (not that she admits it, haha) and partly that I look more like my father & his mother than anyone else. I do agree with you about the how-he-treats-his-mom test _for most people_. Some people come from such fucked up families it’s not a fair test. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/265 "2010-04-26T20:00:29Z")
I think most of the deal breakers I have would be situational, as for the right person I can put up with a lot. I could even be flexible on some of the things that are biggies for other people, like smoking, children, religion, etc. There are a few things that wouldn’t get someone a third date, though (second date would be a second chance. Everyone gets those): -Current drug use. Sorry, this includes just the little bit of pot you smoked last weekend. -Inability to dress appropriately for the situation. Please do not wear flip flops to the opera. -Texting or talking to someone else via cellphone during the date. Once or twice is fine. Please don’t carry on a conversation. I think that’s it, honestly. everything else we can work with. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/266 "2010-04-28T07:06:32Z")
> [@missred](#): > > A man that I haven’t laughed with by the end of our first date. > > If we can’t laugh together in that timeframe, there will be no second date. Life’s just too short. I can make a date laugh, alright. It’s natural. And I give it with a second thought. But to a woman for whom it is _mandatory_ :rolleyes: ? I wish I had enough acting skills to pull the Joe Pesci [scene](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_ff46b58Hk) in Goodfellas. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/267 "2010-04-28T07:17:43Z")
I certainly can’t speak for **missred** but I doubt that she is expecting some uproarious standup routine or having her date perform like a trained seal. I think you might be choosing to read too much into what she’s saying. I think she’s saying that she likes funny guys and if a guy doesn’t say something that makes her laugh a little then he’s probably not the right guy for her. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/268 "2010-04-28T07:37:54Z")
The way she said it kind of assumed that she crosses her arms and takes the “now make me laugh” stance. It takes two to tango. Which means if my date is as sinister as a prison door, I can’t do wonders. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/269 "2010-04-28T07:50:49Z")
I can’t stand nerds who post on message boards. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/270 "2010-04-28T07:52:55Z")
Seriously though, for me having kids is almost a deal-breaker. It didn’t used to be, but I’ve learned from my past ways. Also, being morbidly obese… I know it’s not cool to say, but I just can’t deal. Overweight is fine; I’m talking mumu territory. What else, what else… Oh, fundamentalist anything, especially religion. I don’t mind Republicans or conservatives to be honest. I disagree but think it’s a philosophically respectable set of ideas. All in all I’m pretty easy-going when it comes to dating, and everything for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/271 "2010-04-28T09:00:52Z")
> [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > The way she said it kind of assumed that she crosses her arms and takes the “now make me laugh” stance. It takes two to tango. Which means if my date is as sinister as a prison door, I can’t do wonders. :dubious: That’s not what I got from her post at all. She said a man she hasn’t laughed WITH and she used the word TOGETHER. She didn’t say a man that _makes_ her laugh, necessarily. No one’s expecting you to be Eddie Izzard. It’s just nice if we share a sense of humor and can laugh at the same things. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/272 "2010-04-28T13:47:49Z")
> [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > The way she said it kind of assumed that she crosses her arms and takes the “now make me laugh” stance. It takes two to tango. Which means if my date is as sinister as a prison door, I can’t do wonders. I think you may be projecting a little here. I didn’t get that at _all_ from her post. A guy with no sense of humor is a deal breaker for me, as well. Looks like you’d be crossed off the list pretty quickly… ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de0a6/32.png) [@Electric\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/273 "2010-04-28T15:04:41Z")
If I’m actually out on a date with someone, I’m assuming I already found them attractive and charming enough to pursue/be pursued, so I’ll leave out things like “drools copiously” and “compulsively re-enacts famous Monthy Python routines with their parasitic twin”. The biggest one would be views I find repellent. It’s so demoralizing when a pleasant-seeming person comes out with something incredibly racist or otherwise vile. Some kinds of woo will also put me off. Something like astrology or feng shui–fine, as long as I’m not expected to buy into it. If they start spouting anti-vax propaganda or conspiracies about space lizards, though, I’m out of there. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/274 "2010-04-28T17:13:25Z")
> [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > The way she said it kind of assumed that she crosses her arms and takes the “now make me laugh” stance. It takes two to tango. Which means if my date is as sinister as a prison door, I can’t do wonders. I think you’re the only one who took it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/275 "2010-04-28T19:45:24Z")
> [@Electric\_Sky](#): > > It’s so demoralizing when a pleasant-seeming person comes out with something incredibly racist or otherwise vile. For me what usually happens is I’ll hear an otherwise-cool-seeming-guy call something “gay” or call another guy a “fag.” It’s a subtle form of homophobia, and the guy might have “nothing against” gay people, but I can’t date someone that insensitive/unaware. Unfortunately, it happens a lot. ☹ Sometimes I think my standards are too high – that’s it’s too much to expect a straight man to be genuinely comfortable with and supportive of homosexuals. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/276 "2010-04-28T20:34:50Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > I think you may be projecting a little here. I didn’t get that at _all_ from her post. A guy with no sense of humor is a deal breaker for me, as well. Looks like you’d be crossed off the list pretty quickly… Actually, it’s more of being comfortable enough with someone that laughter comes easily. If it doesn’t, then the guy isn’t the right one for me. ---
**Author:** ![Creole\_Tomato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@Creole\_Tomato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creole_Tomato)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/277 "2010-04-29T02:01:58Z")
> [@Translucent\_Daydream](#): > > I have left bitches at the restaurant that started texting a lot. And the cell phone thing. > > I hate being in relationships almost as much as I hate being single. 🙂 Good thread! I’d add a no to anyone who: Substitutes the word “bitches” for “women.” Smokes. Has visible armpit hair when fully dressed (ok, bathing suits/gym attire don’t count, but the wifebeater just really isn’t a good look; ditto the t-shirt with cutout sides. Ew.) I once had a date tell me, “Well, I’ll have to break you down so I can build you back up to suit me.” :rolleyes: Thinks racist or homophobic jokes are funny. Is a knee-jerk conservative–I don’t rule out conservatives entirely, but the whole “Anyone who’s a liberal is obviously stupid and needs me to educate them” mentality just pisses me off. Trashtalks his ex or (worse!) his mom. Expects me to go to church with him. Can’t handle his liquor without needing a nursemaid. And not least, a fan of a rival SEC school. I’ve learned the hard way that you either have to date someone from your alma mater, or go outside the conference. A lot of southern marriages are ruined during football season, by couples who didn’t heed this warning. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898/278 "2010-04-29T02:34:22Z")
One night when I took a girl out to eat, she got trashed and started flirting with several of the people working there that she was friends with. She left the table and walked around the restaurant to do so. They would even come talk to her at the table. With me right there. I was pissed and embarrassed. She was even more pissed when I left her there. I drove and it was an hour from home. I would think someone might find what I did to be wrong, but everyone who has heard the story has supported my decision, haha. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-instant-deal-breakers-for-dating/530898.md?page=13)