# Your Kids Can't Have Toys...? (mild) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 22, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925 "2003-08-22T14:36:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/81 "2003-08-25T17:06:00Z")
I feel all of you posting that you don’t think kids needs toys because you NEVER had a lot of toys are twisted and just plain mean. I didn’t have tons of toys but I never lacked for them either. My favorites things were and still are books. But I buy for my son. He doesnt have tons of toys and every 6 months or so I weed out the things he doesn’t play with and donate them to charity. Bear doesn’t play with the kids in our neighborhood. “Mommy they only come here to play with my toys” no doubt. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/82 "2003-08-25T18:58:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by evilbeth \* > There is no excuse for something geared toward children (who are learning with everything they do) to deliberately misspell something without bothering to correct it. Out of curiousity, **evilbeth,** do you prevent your kid from going to Toys ‘R Us, too? Because they’ve got a big honkin’ misspelling _and_ a grammatical error right on their name… ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/83 "2003-08-25T19:20:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by quietman1920 \* > \*\*As for me, I’ll be fine as long as she doesn’t try to raise my children. As a friend said, > > "She’ll just be known as the local loony, her children will be pitied, and her name will be whispered rather than spoken. > Eventually, she’ll be burned as a witch and you will parcel her land and possessions amongst the neighbourhood association. It happens in suburbs everywhere. " \*\* I don’t get the opposition to this lady. She has raised what **you** describe as nice, good kids who get along well with other children. They play sports, ride bikes, and have friends. Why in the world should anyone pity them or think their mother odd? These kids sound like they are doing _great_. There are so many children who aren’t nice and are aggressive to other kids. Pity them instead. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/84 "2003-08-25T20:32:31Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m sure if Madame DeFarge had a computer or believed in the internet and had posted here, it would have sounded EXACTLY like Nametag’s snarky post. I was halfway through an equally snarky reply when I decided not to stoop to that level. Besides, anyone that would think that raising a child to be Happy is ‘wasting their childhood’ \ speaks volumes in and of itself. Oh, that’s rich. **You’re** the one who Pitted her, **you’re** the one with _j’accuse_ dripping from your keyboard, but **she’s** Mme. DeFarge. Funny thing; the only clicking I hear is from **your** knittin’ needles, chum. My point was never that she’s doing the right thing – nor, for that matter, that you’re doing the wrong thing – only that you have no standing to criticize her . “The log in your eye,” and all that. Never mind; ignore that whooshing sound. Raising children to be happy isn’t waste – but valuing their happiness over their well-being is. Yes, I’m sure that’s not what you’re doing, but I’m equally sure that it’s what your neighbor is trying not to do, too. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/85 "2003-08-25T21:16:48Z")
**Nametag** , hopefully tomorrows lesson won’t be ‘Reading Comprehension’ for your kids, or didn’t you read the entire OP? Perhaps this slipped by you: “PS- If the mod thinks this isn’t Pit Worthy, I’m OK if you move it.” Personally, I believe in a balance between happiness and well-being; never one to the exclusion of the other. That, and I’ve decided on mesquite chips for the stake burning. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/86 "2003-08-25T22:09:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorsnak \* > **Mennonite here. Lapsed, but I don’t spose that’s relevant to my childhood. I had toys growing up, and I don’t know of any Mennonites that didn’t, though certain types of toys are frowned upon.** That’s what I was thinking. We don’t know exactly what sort of toys aren’t allowed in that house, just that they allow sports equipment but not LEGO evidently. Some Mennonite communites are quite big on having their kids participate in sports, especially basketball. Could be the mom just has something against plastic toys. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/87 "2003-08-26T02:40:38Z")
Where’s the “My jaw has been on the floor for half of this thread” smilie? I thought that was a joke by **evilbeth**. You honest to GOD don’t let your kids read Pooh? Both my kids do, and reading and other subjects related to spelling are their best subjects!! My daughter was reading at an 11th grade level when she was in 5th grade, (some Iowa or whatnot test they give them). My son hit only 10th grade reading level as a 5th grader. I’ve never heard of such a thing!! Sorry, hope I’m not being nosy, but was this something suggested by a “How to raise kids” type book or something? Or just your own personal “aha” decision? Again, sorry hope I’m not being nosy or rude, I’m curious. ---
**Author:** ![Morrigoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/88 "2003-08-26T03:29:56Z")
I really don’t understand making your kids return gifts. Exchange, perhaps, if you object to the nature of the toy that much (ex: guns), but to have your child receive a toy, then have that toy TAKEN AWAY is obnoxious and (depending on the age and emotional maturity of the child) slightly cruel. I know of a 6-year old who had a birthday party. The father decided that she’d received too many toys or too expensive or somesuch, and told her, a _6-year old_, that she’d have to return some. That’s just wrong. The child is not old enought to understand why they’re not allowed to have those toys. If you think it’s too many, just don’t buy them any yourself till the difference is made up. I’m okay with restrictions on types of toys (guns, barbies, video games) but no toys is ludicrous. (And I’m not too keen on restricting video games either… it stimulates hand-eye coordination, quick decision making skills, and with the right games, development of long-term strategy. While it seems pointless in the realm of the game, these same skills transfer well into real life). The silliest of all is restricting Legos. I simply cannot think of a better all-around toy for a child than that. Legos are everything a toy should be. But perhaps I’m biased. In my family we had a big rubbermaid tub into which we tossed all the Lego sets, and from which we would create all sorts of fantastic worlds (we rarely played once the worlds were made, it was the building of it that was the attraction). There is nothing morally or politically objectionable about legos. It is an educational toy. What reasonable person could possibly object to them? Therefore, the neighbor is a freak. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/89 "2003-08-26T06:43:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Morrigoon \* > I really don’t understand making your kids return gifts. Exchange, perhaps, if you object to the nature of the toy that much (ex: guns), but to have your child receive a toy, then have that toy TAKEN AWAY is obnoxious and (depending on the age and emotional maturity of the child) slightly cruel. Well, – sheepish admission time – I’ve done the same thing to my toddler for several Christmases now. Sometimes it’s because the gifts were duplicates, like the time he got _two_ “activity desks” at once. Sometimes it’s because the toy was inappropriate for his age, like the time he got a radio-controlled car rated for age 6+ when he was just barely 3. On the other hand, though we did return the toys and got store credit, he’s definitely not hurtin’ for playthings anyway, since he often gets toys on spur-of-the-moment shopping trips anyway. And I’m just too much of a progressive parent to ever refuse buying _books_ for him, which he loves as much as the toys… But yeah, restricting _Legos_ – and to a six-year-old, no less – is just nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/90 "2003-08-27T16:50:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Morrigoon \* > \*\*There is nothing morally or politically objectionable about legos. It is an educational toy. What reasonable person could possibly object to them? > > Therefore, the neighbor is a freak. \*\* Thanks Morrigoon! I think you said it well. BTW- What’s so bad about plastic toys? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/91 "2003-08-28T01:04:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wonko The Sane \* > \*\*BTW- What’s so bad about plastic toys? \*\* [Health concerns](http://www.healthfinder.gov/news/newsstory.asp?docID=513422), for one. Possibly misguded concerns but concerns nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Morrigoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/92 "2003-08-28T01:19:48Z")
rjung: perhaps I should elaborate. The husband in question just decided that the amount of toys was too extravagant, and that was his reasoning for wanting the 6-year old to choose which ones to give away. Freakin’ A, it didn’t cost HIM anything! Shut up and let the kid play! Failing all else, take half the toys and make her earn them through good behaviors (eg: clean your room for a week, get one toy back, etc). That system would take away even the “spoiling” factor, as it would reward positive behaviors. But it’s still stupid. The gifts didn’t cost him anything, why shouldn’t she keep them? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/93 "2003-08-28T01:35:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by doc\_miller \* > \*\*I’ve seen just as many left-wing wacky. I think wacky is generally the real home school common denominator. \*\* I’m sure there are some non-wacky homeschoolers out there, but I don’t know any. I’ve also never met any non-conservative homeschoolers. Or non-religious ones. My dad and his wife fall into the ultra-right-wing fundie homeschooling category with their kids (they currently have 5 kids at home ranging from ages 3 to 10). ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925/94 "2003-08-28T10:12:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by quietman1920 \* > \*\* > “Listen,” she said, “They’re from the Mid-West…its a Mid-Western thing and try as you might, you’ll never be able to understand it. Evidently it’s a Very common practice and you’ve seen how good their kids are.” > \*\* Now this is what pisses _me_ off. I am sick to fucking death of the stereotype that all midwesterners are naive, ultraconservative, and stuck in the 19th century. If this “no toys” thing is truly the result of conditioning, it must be because of the **community** these people are from, not what part of the country. The flyover states are **not** one big fucking cultural desert. Sticks Nix Hick Pix. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-kids-cant-have-toys-mild/196925.md?page=4)