# Your life is at stake - which actor will you replace **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 24, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082 "2005-12-24T15:28:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/1 "2005-12-24T15:28:20Z")
Due to some dislocation in the space/time continuum that you don’t understand, (neither do I or I would include it in the OP), you are required to nominate an actor whose roles you will play in his/her stead. If you do an adequate job your life will be spared. However the actor you choose must have received some level of acclaim for his/her roles. I guess I get the easy first choice. I will play all Bill Murray’s comatose roles since _Wild Things_. He is someone I used to really enjoy in all his roles but now he seems worse than the people who only play themselves, he seems to actively avoid any form of engagement with the rest of the cast or the audience. Give me enough drugs and I could sleepwalk through his recent roles. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/2 "2005-12-24T15:52:25Z")
This kind of thing belongs in Cafe Society; I’ll ask a mod to move it for you. As for me? Scarlett Johannsen. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/3 "2005-12-24T15:55:39Z")
It’s a game, but it’s an actor game; plus, I’m sure there will be some debate over certain assessments of certain actor’s talents or lack thereof. So, off to Cafe Society with the whole lot of ya! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/4 "2005-12-24T16:00:57Z")
[Paul Stewart](http://imdb.com/name/nm0829717/), character and supporting actor in movies and radio and a member of Orson Welles’ Mercury Theater, would be my choice. I am prematurely gray-haired, heavy-browed and dark-eyed, and can do any number of accents and voices. _"Den he dropped de glass ball and it broke on de floor._" –Raymond, the butler, in _Citizen Kane_, 1941 ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/5 "2005-12-24T16:31:47Z")
A corpse - any corpse - on any episode of\*\* Law & Order Criminal Intent\*\*, **Silent Witness** , and **Sesame Street**. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/6 "2005-12-24T18:29:48Z")
I’ll take [Hugh Herbert](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001890/). ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/7 "2005-12-24T18:31:48Z")
Kevin Costner in _The Big Chill_. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/8 "2005-12-24T19:13:46Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > I’ll take [Hugh Herbert](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001890/). Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Me, I think I could comfortably play most of Margaret Dumont’s roles. Just let me polish up my lorgnette . . . ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/9 "2005-12-24T19:20:00Z")
I could handle any role Michael J. Fox has played since _Family Ties_ – and do it without being mistaken for Michael J. Fox. My delivery would be very . . . different. Does that fit the thread parameters? ---
**Author:** ![Coin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Coin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coin)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-life-is-at-stake-which-actor-will-you-replace/337082/10 "2005-12-24T19:57:53Z")
I’ll take Marlon Wayans.