# Your lover reveals a hidden fortune, then asks you to sign a pre-nup. Do you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 5, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-lover-reveals-a-hidden-fortune-then-asks-you-to-sign-a-pre-nup-do-you/549283 "2010-08-05T16:07:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-lover-reveals-a-hidden-fortune-then-asks-you-to-sign-a-pre-nup-do-you/549283/101 "2010-08-09T07:26:44Z")
I think the issue is more where its been deliberately concealed as part of hiding that he’s so wealthy rather than simply not being part of normal life that they dont catch up so often. I agree that it isnt always a ‘must have’, but it can be a red flag if it looks like they’re avoiding you meeting them without any obvious reason why. Otara ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-lover-reveals-a-hidden-fortune-then-asks-you-to-sign-a-pre-nup-do-you/549283/102 "2010-08-09T08:04:31Z")
I’d sign it. First of all - agreed to marry before I knew, so who cares? Secondly, it isn’t my money, so why should I feel entitled? Lastly - it does show good faith and would kill any hints of being a gold-digger by the family. I know some personal examples: A friend was the personal assistant for a celebrity who married a “commoner” and had a pre-nup for 10 years. Two months after the 10 year mark, the divorce happened… A woman we know in Germany inherited a fortune - she married a distant relative and he had to sign a pre-nup with a 15 year clause. They have been married 20 years now and going strong, despite the fact that the woman is a total nutcase and nobody has a clue how he puts up with her, but it seems to be working out. Granted, she buys him a new Mercedes for his birthday every year, but at this point he could divorce her and get half if he wanted to. On the flip side, I do know of a woman who married a guy and was thrilled when he never mentioned a pre-nup prior to the wedding. They got divorced a WEEK later when she found out he was not filthy rich (as she had assumed during their courtship) - but he was dead broke and had huge debts! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-lover-reveals-a-hidden-fortune-then-asks-you-to-sign-a-pre-nup-do-you/549283/103 "2010-08-09T15:30:10Z")
> [@Otara](#): > > I think the issue is more where its been deliberately concealed as part of hiding that he’s so wealthy rather than simply not being part of normal life that they dont catch up so often. > > I agree that it isnt always a ‘must have’, but it can be a red flag if it looks like they’re avoiding you meeting them without any obvious reason why. > > Otara Your first sentence is somewhat difficult to parse. ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-lover-reveals-a-hidden-fortune-then-asks-you-to-sign-a-pre-nup-do-you/549283/104 "2010-08-09T15:49:19Z")
… so I’ll take that as a no on the telepathy working… Oh well, if the hypothetical one ambushed me in that manner… hell no. I’d refuse to sign just to be difficult. If the actual for real gf asked, sure thing, sign me up… tho neither of us is actually looking to marry. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-lover-reveals-a-hidden-fortune-then-asks-you-to-sign-a-pre-nup-do-you/549283/105 "2010-08-09T16:07:23Z")
“You’re rich? That’s _awesome!_ I thought you didn’t have two pennies to rub together and I was going to marry you anyway, so a couple of million dollars is gravy! I am kind of mad you didn’t tell me…oh, I can’t stay mad at you, you adorable, rich thing you!” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-lover-reveals-a-hidden-fortune-then-asks-you-to-sign-a-pre-nup-do-you/549283/106 "2010-08-11T04:17:48Z")
> [@Atomic\_Mama](#): > > He now knows my money situation. But he has never, not once, ever asked me for one thin dime. We agree that money causes greed and corrupts. We get along fine, on many levels. > > He seems to be utterly trustworthy; always shows up on time; never invades my space or monopolizes my time. Too good to be true? Doesn’t smoke or drink. No vices? He’s a bit religious and likes Broadway musicals. :eek: > > I have accepted his proposal (it took him six months to ask, BTW). There is still time for me to change my mind. > > He can’t get to the money; it’s all tied up in the Trust. If I can’t get it (I have to ask for Distributions), he can’t get it. > > Should I require HIM to sign a pre-nup??? No legal advice solicited here. > > This whole affair has gone on for just under three years … No way I’m going to tell you what to do. No way. He could have been buttering up the whole time, knowing you had some family money. Or he could have seen you through that tough time and realized you work well together. For some reasons, and this is sort of awful, funerals always make me think of marriage. You start realizing how much people mean, and how much time you want to spend with them. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-lover-reveals-a-hidden-fortune-then-asks-you-to-sign-a-pre-nup-do-you/549283/107 "2010-08-11T04:22:51Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > “You’re rich? That’s _awesome!_ I thought you didn’t have two pennies to rub together and I was going to marry you anyway, so a couple of million dollars is gravy! I am kind of mad you didn’t tell me…oh, I can’t stay mad at you, you adorable, rich thing you!” Pretty much. I’m not really seeing the downside here. I don’t think it’s a massive breach in trust–I could completely understand why someone would keep that quiet–and if everything else is going great, as the OP says it is, I cannot fathom a rational reason why I would give a shit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-lover-reveals-a-hidden-fortune-then-asks-you-to-sign-a-pre-nup-do-you/549283.md?page=5)