# your miserably failed "sexperiments" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 20, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555 "2001-10-20T04:42:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/21 "2001-10-20T20:19:08Z")
They say bigger is better, right? Well… to a point… Gunslinger and I have had some problems… and all I’m going to say is, have you ever tried to stick a Pepsi bottle through a keyring? ---
**Author:** ![toshirodragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e68b1a/32.png) [@toshirodragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toshirodragon)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/22 "2001-10-20T21:21:51Z")
Well it wasn’t kinky but… I am terribly allergic to perfumes and dyes. My ex and I tried a new type of contraceptive that had a dye in it I was MUCHO allergic to! It burned and I swelled up! I had a similiar reaction to a flavored lube as well. My hubby and I discovered that pistachio pudding doesn’t work well either… those pieces of nut are almost impossible to completely retrieve from the tender tissues!:eek: ---
**Author:** ![toshirodragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e68b1a/32.png) [@toshirodragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toshirodragon)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/23 "2001-10-20T21:24:25Z")
I should point out that we weren’t aware I was allergic to the contraceptive until I had a reaction to it! ---
**Author:** ![Kaje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f04885/32.png) [@Kaje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaje)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2001, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/24 "2001-10-20T23:58:18Z")
She wanted to try anal sex real bad. We didn’t get the opportunity for a while but one night she came home somewhat drunk and we went to take a shower. She said she wanted to so I tried to stick it in… the second it got in she let out an ear-piercing scream (and what with the acoustics in the shower…) and cried for the next 5 minutes or so… Not so much embarassing, but I felt like an asshole (no pun intended) ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/25 "2001-10-21T01:01:09Z")
Off the subject, but I love your sig line, **Kaje**. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/26 "2001-10-21T01:41:27Z")
Sex in a **HOT-TUB**. Funny it always seems so easy in those **PLAYBOY** videos. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/27 "2001-10-21T02:20:31Z")
What’s wrong with sex in a hot tub? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/28 "2001-10-21T03:27:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ladyfoxfyre \* > What’s wrong with sex in a hot tub? For one thing, most of us kind of heat up during sex. Add to that the fact that you’re in all this very warm water, and just as you’d otherwise be getting to the good part, you realize that you’re getting parboiled. It’s a real mood-breaker. OTOH, I’ve had sex in a swimming pool. It was very pleasurable, it wasn’t awkward, and the cooler water of a pool worked out a lot better for us. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/29 "2001-10-21T05:27:15Z")
Sex on the beach sounds oh so much better than sand, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/30 "2001-10-21T05:37:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ladyfoxfyre \* > **Only he didn’t have a car, he had a little truck. A super-tiny, horribly uncomfortable just to _sit in_ kind of truck. And we tried to have sex in it.** Hey now, I’ve had sex in a Festiva . . . on the driver side, so don’t tell me about small. I have one really funny story to tell, but I can’t as it the telling would quite likely result in my death. You’ll just have to trust me. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/31 "2001-10-21T05:37:29Z")
Agh Sex on the beach is a baaaad thing! There are places the Creator never intended sand to get! Sex in the hot tub also manages to wash away a woman’s natural lubrication. Of course, you can just get on the deck and finish. As opposed to being on the beach where you cannot escape the damned sand. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/32 "2001-10-21T05:57:53Z")
I’ve had sex on a beach with no problem; look to our four-legged companians for advice. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/33 "2001-10-21T06:08:24Z")
Tried that. Didn’t work for me. The wind was my enemy. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/34 "2001-10-21T06:20:47Z")
Don’t ever reach for the tube of K/Y in the dark–it’s too easy to grab the Ben-Gay instead. The memory is (mercifully) obscure, but for some reason we didn’t catch the difference till _far_ too late. Next day the Ben-Gay was banished to the bathroom, where it belonged. ---
**Author:** ![rfsgrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/90db22/32.png) [@rfsgrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rfsgrl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/35 "2001-10-22T23:31:31Z")
Honey!!! Talk about disappointment of a lifetime; I thought it would be so much fun… So my boyfriend at the time (I was 15) went through the Mcdonald’s drive-thru, and brought back a whole bunch of those little containers of it. Well I dumped it all over his hairy chest:eek: and I had extremely long hair, it got everywhere… in the poor guy’s belly button and just about everywhere else… It was exciting for all of about 5 minutes… then it was “OHHH MYY GODDD!!! get me in the shower”… 3 showers later we still hadn’t gotten it all off and the towels were stickier than all get out. To this day I cannot look at a chicken nugget without cringing :o ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/36 "2001-10-22T23:55:11Z")
yeaaaaaaaaaah baby! for once, i can say, “i dont have any amusing anticdotes to add to the thread!” it seems all of my “experiments” have gone pretty well! maybe i just need more challenges… feel sorry for that guy with the ben-gay! ---
**Author:** ![DarkPrince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@DarkPrince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkPrince)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/37 "2001-10-23T00:00:01Z")
Sex in the back seat of a Subaru Justy (think of a civic but smaller) in a church parking lot. [Mallrats]“Like the backseat of a Volkswagen?”[/Mallrats] ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/38 "2001-10-23T04:47:49Z")
Continuing the car theme… Leaning on his car’s center console for an hour while I gave him a blowjob resulted in a big tender spot on my ribs, just under my left boobie. It hurt to move for a few days afterward. And because mentioning my pain would have meant giving a little TMI, I had to suffer in silence. Fortunately for both of us, I enjoy going down on him immensely, and it’s going to take a lot more than a sore boobie to get me to think about putting an end to our Car Fun. I’m just careful about where I lean now. Guess it isn’t much of a “failed” experiment if you’re still doing it, huh? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/39 "2001-10-23T04:53:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > **OTOH, I’ve had sex in a swimming pool.** My cousin had sex in a swimming pool at a family friend’s housewarming party. While a 4 year old boy and his grandfather were swimming around. While her parents and their friends were on the pool deck. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Earthworm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/40 "2001-10-23T05:26:05Z")
Sex on the Beach? My favorite drink! -Syko “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.” - Ralph Wiggum [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555.md?page=3)