# your miserably failed "sexperiments"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 20, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555 "2001-10-20T04:42:19Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Ace\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Ace\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace_Face)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/41 "2001-10-23T06:33:49Z")

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I left a bar with my ex-girlfriend in Osaka, Japan. A lot of bars in Japan are in semi-highrise buildings. It was late and we had the elevator to ourselves, so we started kissing and feeling each other up. When the elevator opened on the ground floor, I just hit the “close” button and we rode back up. We went up and down about five times like that, which was _awesome_ – no problems yet! But then I decided to get a little bolder…

In a different building we went up a stairwell to the top floor. The office there was closed and we had the large, dark stairwell to ourselves, and I had a condom. Everything was exciting, all was good in the world! But after we started I noticed she seemed more “slippery” than normal. Yup, that time of month had arrived, sooner than normal, and we were both wearing light-colored clothing. Neither of us had enough money for a cab…it was a very awkward train ride back to my apartment…

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**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/42 "2001-10-23T07:25:42Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by ladyfoxfyre \*  
> > What’s wrong with sex in a hot tub?
> 
> For one thing, most of us kind of heat up during sex. Add to that the fact that you’re in all this very warm water, and just as you’d otherwise be getting to the good part, you realize that you’re getting parboiled. It’s a real mood-breaker.\*\*

That and its hard to get a rhythm down when you got the displacement of the water moving you around.

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**Author:** ![sirjamesp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@sirjamesp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirjamesp)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/43 "2001-10-23T08:09:41Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by DarkPrince \*  
> **Sex in the back seat of a Subaru Justy (think of a civic but smaller) in a church parking lot.**

How about in the passenger seat of a Mini? Now _that_, I can confirm, is NOT comfortable.

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**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\
**Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/44 "2001-10-24T04:35:28Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by AudreyK \*  
> \*\*Leaning on his car’s center console for an hour while I gave him a blowjob resulted in a big tender spot on my ribs, just under my left boobie. It hurt to move for a few days afterward. And because mentioning my pain would have meant giving a little TMI, I had to suffer in silence.  
> \*\*

I’m assuming you mean you couldn’t tell a medical-science-type-person, not that you couldn’t tell your SO. But even then, couldn’t you have made **something** up?

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**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\
**Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/45 "2001-10-24T08:20:59Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \*  
> \*\*I’m assuming you mean you couldn’t tell a medical-science-type-person, not that you couldn’t tell your SO. But even then, couldn’t you have made **something** up? \*\*

I did tell him about the bruise the next day, and got a gentle, sympathetic massage. 😃

I could have made up a story, I guess. But for one thing, I’m bad at making up stories. And knowing me, I probably would have started grinning or giggling and given myself away completely.

Also, most of my friends are guys, and so I don’t think I could talk casually about a sore boob without totally weirding them out. 🙂

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**Author:** ![psychogumby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c0e974/32.png) [@psychogumby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychogumby)\
**Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-miserably-failed-sexperiments/88555/46 "2001-10-24T09:07:28Z")

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Attempting to titty-f.ck a chick with an AA cup.

😃

I haven’t actually DONE this, but I would imagine that this would be a futile exercise.

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