# Your Momma Is So Fat...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 12, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999 "2018-06-12T23:09:53Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)
#### Post date: [June 12, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/1 "2018-06-12T23:09:53Z")
when she hauls butt she has to make two trips.
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### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [June 12, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/2 "2018-06-12T23:13:36Z")
…that she is in serious danger of some obesity-related maladies such as heart problems and diabetes.
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [June 12, 2018, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/3 "2018-06-12T23:25:03Z")
A variation on this:
Your daddy’s so fat, then when he goes to a football game, they use his belt to mark the first downs.
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### Author:  [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)
#### Post date: [June 12, 2018, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/4 "2018-06-12T23:28:22Z")
…she displaces more water in a pool than less fat mamas.
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### Author:  [@Jake\_Bullet\_Traffic\_Control](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake_Bullet_Traffic_Control)
#### Post date: [June 12, 2018, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/5 "2018-06-12T23:30:36Z")
Yo momma’s so fat she brought a spoon to the Super bowl.
Yo momma’s so fat, that when I wanted to get on her good side I had to take the bus.
Yo momma’s so fat, she has low self-esteem!
Yo momma’s so fat, her Patronus is a cheesecake.
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### Author:  [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)
#### Post date: [June 12, 2018, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/6 "2018-06-12T23:57:10Z")
Yo momma’s so fat, I saw her go to the all-you-can-eat buffet and pull up a chair.
Yo momma’s so fat, I saw her go to another restaurant and the waiter handed her the menu. She looked through it and gave it back to him and said, “OK”.
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/7 "2018-06-13T01:21:15Z")
The obvious one:
When she sits around the house, she sits _around_ the house!
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/8 "2018-06-13T01:32:16Z")
Your Momma’s so fat…
…Jabba the Hutt told her she needs to diet.
…she’s the spherical cow in that joke about physicists.
…you never left home because you couldn’t escape her gravitational pull.
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### Author:  [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/9 "2018-06-13T01:39:44Z")
Yo Daddy so fat he turned the escalator into a sliding board.
Yo Daddy so fat the boy scouts borrowed his pants for a tent.
Yo Daddy so fat I told him it was chilly outside, he ran out there with a spoon!
Yo Daddy so fat his jumping jacks measure 2.0 on the Richter scale.
Yo Daddy so old and fat they found cave paintings in his belly button.
Yo Daddy so fat he has his own weather system.
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### Author:  [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/10 "2018-06-13T01:51:43Z")
Yo mamma’s so fat:
… When she walked in front of the TV, I missed two commercials
… It takes two Borg Cubes to assimilate her
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### Author:  [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/11 "2018-06-13T01:57:27Z")
Oh, so we’re not doing it one at a time?
when she dances she makes the band skip.
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
her butt has its own congressman.
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### Author:  [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/12 "2018-06-13T02:09:54Z")
… Donald Trump wants to hire her to sit at the Mexican border. All of it.
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### Author:  [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/13 "2018-06-13T04:52:23Z")
… Thanos had to snap twice! (From Twitter via Tumblr, apparently from a kid)
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### Author:  [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/14 "2018-06-13T04:57:11Z")
…her blood type is rocky road
Yo Mama’s like a shotgun, one cock and she’s ready to blow
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### Author:  [@HaroldDix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HaroldDix)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/15 "2018-06-13T05:19:13Z")
Your momma is so fat her blood type is gravy.
Your momma is so fat Ilsa Koch could make a pavillion canopy out of her.
Your momma is so fat she could feed all the Nights Watch on a ranging north of the Wall.
Your momma is so fat that we could make 1000 copies of the Necronomicon out of her.
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/16 "2018-06-13T05:20:21Z")
You momma’s glasses be so thick that when she looks at a map, she sees people waving at her.
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### Author:  [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/17 "2018-06-13T05:39:41Z")
your momma so old and mean that when mumm-ra called on the ancient spirits of evil she picked up the phone
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### Author:  [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/18 "2018-06-13T06:17:43Z")
Yo momma is so fat, she free-bases ham.
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### Author:  [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/19 "2018-06-13T06:36:13Z")
… all the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama”
… when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
… when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
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### Author:  [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)
#### Post date: [June 13, 2018, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-momma-is-so-fat/815999/20 "2018-06-13T06:38:33Z")
Yo momma’s so fat, when people say “Kool Aid” she comes busting through the wall.
Yo daddy’s so fat, when he eats at McDonalds they have to change the sign.
Yo momma’s so fat she’s on both sides of the family.
Yo daddy’s so fat he has to use a boomerang to put on his belt.
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