# Your momma's like a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 19, 2013, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091 "2013-04-19T01:11:42Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2013, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/1 "2013-04-19T01:11:42Z")
We’re all back in 5th grade, and probably didn’t know what any of these meant. I know I didn’t, but that didn’t stop us from capping hard on the playground:
Your momma’s like a TV set, a three-year-old could turn her on.
Your momma’s like 7-Eleven, open 24 hours a day
Your momma’s like a race car, she burns 4 rubbers a day
Your momma’s like the transcontinental railroad, she’s been laid across the country
Your momma’s like a shotgun, one cock and she blows
Your momma’s like a stop light, I see her at every corner
Your momma’s like a rooster, but she says “any cock’ll do”
Oooh, I cut you down so low, you have to look up to see down!
Any more?
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### Author:  [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2013, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/2 "2013-04-19T02:35:26Z")
Not a ‘like a\_\_\_\_’, but:
Your momma so dumb, on the way to the airport she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left.” Bitch went home.
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### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2013, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/3 "2013-04-19T03:19:40Z")
Yeah, we were more of the “yo mama so…” era.
Yo mama so fat she got other fat ladies in orbit around her.
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### Author:  [@Opus\_T.Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opus_T.Penguin)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2013, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/4 "2013-04-19T04:13:53Z")
Yo mama’s pussy is so dry her crabs carry canteens - that was always my favorite.
I also liked - Yo mama is so stupid she stared at a carton of orange juice for five minutes 'cuz it said ‘Concentrate’.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2013, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/5 "2013-04-19T05:14:30Z")
Yo mama so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
I read that on these boards a while ago, and I loved it! 😃 😃 😃
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### Author:  [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/6 "2013-04-19T14:52:10Z")
Yo mamma’s like lettuce, a quarter a head.
Yo mamma’s so fat after sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
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### Author:  [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/7 "2013-04-19T17:48:36Z")
Yo mama’s like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks, blows, and gets laid in the corner.
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### Author:  [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/8 "2013-04-19T18:49:08Z")
Yo’ mama teef so rotten, when she smile she look like she got a mouf-fulla dice!.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2013, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/9 "2013-04-20T04:41:51Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia]
Yo mama so fat she got other fat ladies in orbit around her.
[/QUOTE]
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
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### Author:  [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2013, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/10 "2013-04-20T16:10:17Z")
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped HER momma!
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### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2013, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/11 "2013-04-20T17:58:35Z")
Yo mama so fat her shadow weigh 30 pounds.
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### Author:  [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/12 "2013-04-20T18:08:06Z")
Hmm. Reminds me of [a song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8opPUInhOHQ) for some reason…
_Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs_
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/13 "2013-04-20T20:34:12Z")
Yo mamma so fat, when somebody yells “Koolaid!” she comes bustin’ through the wall.
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### Author:  [@Reyemile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reyemile)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/14 "2013-04-20T20:40:06Z")
Yo momma so fat, 17 climbers died scaling her north face.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2013, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/15 "2013-04-20T20:48:57Z")
Yo so mama so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked “What you doing?” and she said “Movin’…”.
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### Author:  [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/16 "2013-04-21T01:52:39Z")
From 8th grade, 1964: _Yo Mama like a birthday cake- EVERYBODY gets a piece._
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### Author:  [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/17 "2013-04-22T23:40:07Z")
You mama so old, when Moses parted the Red Sea, she was on the other side fishin’.
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### Author:  [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2013, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/18 "2013-04-23T14:32:01Z")
Yo mamma’s so fat when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 episodes.
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### Author:  [@Jagwasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jagwasher)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2013, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/19 "2013-04-23T14:38:21Z")
Yo momma is so black, when she licks her lips she looks like Knight Rider.
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### Author:  [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)
#### Post date: [April 23, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommas-like-a-_______/656091/20 "2013-04-23T18:42:17Z")
> [@Jagwasher](#):
>
> Yo momma is so black, when she licks her lips she looks like Knight Rider.
… Oh yeah? Yo Momma so black she make the Ace of Spades look white!
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