# Your mommy's favorite pornographic song **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2000, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992 "2000-10-15T12:38:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/21 "2000-10-16T03:26:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spoke- \* > \*\* > Eric Clapton’s band Cream? Enough said. > \*\* I thought it was called that because the three musicians in the band were the “cream” of the crop. . . . maybe I should put my mind back in the gutter. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/22 "2000-10-16T11:53:16Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by xizor \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spoke- \* > \*\*“Nice” 70’s band 10cc (big hit: “I’m Not in Love”) took its band name from the average amount of male ejaculate. > \*\* Really? Damn. Now I’m even less interested in that band than I was before. But I assume you have no caveats about Steely Dan? Well there’s alway’s Chuck Berry’s only number one hit “My Dingaling”. Obscene for many reasons. And there was…was it “I Want My Baby Back”? (Not the rib song) which was, basically about necrophilia. A subject not even Marylin Manson touches upon frequently. Then there’s “Run for Your Life”, an adorable song from those lovable moptops about killing your unfaithful girlfriend. Wait let me think. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/23 "2000-10-16T13:48:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by G. Nome \* > **I just skimmed all the lyrics of Recovering the Satellites (on-line) and the word fuck does not seem to be there. I think it must be just one line about fingers that caused the warning sticker. It’s pathetic and unfair.** Next time try actually listening to the CD. It’s on there. I’m with HenrySpencer…it’s likely a kid would listen to it, so they slapped the sticker on. Yippee. Just makes a kid MORE likely to buy the CD, IMO. _shrug_ ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/24 "2000-10-16T14:51:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > Next time try actually listening to the CD. It’s on there. I’m with HenrySpencer…it’s likely a kid would listen to it, so they slapped the sticker on. Yippee. Just makes a kid MORE likely to buy the CD, IMO. _shrug_ Actually, I think the lyrics label was slapped on the Counting Crows for, from “anna begins”: “Gonna shoot my bitch up, slap a cap in her crown.” I’ll just wait to let that one sink in. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/25 "2000-10-16T15:09:53Z")
Um, John honey? That’s on _August and Everything After_, not _Recovering the Satellites_. But you make a good point. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/26 "2000-10-16T15:35:35Z")
Thanks for the link Nerd, it’s a very enjoyable acoustic version and it deserves some more exposure. I am shocked to discover how many of us have been listening to pornographic lyrics, we should be ashamed of ourselves. Pat Boone anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/27 "2000-10-16T15:59:20Z")
**Feynn** wrote: > [@](#): > > Pat Boone anyone? Nope. Even Pat got down and dirty, recording a cover of Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti.” Originally, the lyric was “tutti frutti, good booty! tutti frutti, good booty!” Little Richard (and Pat Boone in his cover) cleaned the song up for recording, changing the lyric to the nonsense phrase “tutti frutti au rutti” However, even the cleaned up version had lyrics such as: > [@](#): > > Got a gal named Sue > She knows just what to do > She rocks me to the east > She rocks me to the weat > She’s the gal I love best (“Rock and roll” being originally a euphemism for sex, BTW) and: > [@](#): > > I got a gal named Daisy > She almost drives me crazy > She knows how to love me > Yes indeed, boy you don’t know > What she do to me Well, we know what she was doing to Little Richard (and to Pat), don’t we? ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/28 "2000-10-16T16:44:24Z")
As a kid listening to my folks’ old records, I always though Johnny Mercer’s “Strip Polka” was pretty racy. Got a kick the other day when I saw the lyrics in Leon Uris’ 1st book “Battle Cry.” When I was in grade school, say in the early 70s or so, the song we thought was the riskiest was (IIRC) by David Peel and the Lower East Side called “Up Against The Wall Mother Fucker.” And of course there were always the Kinks and Lou with “Lola” and “Walk on the Wild Side.” And I like a Freddy King recording I have of “Backdoor Santa.” (“I’m better than old Saint Nick. He don’t come but once a year.”) ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/29 "2000-10-16T16:57:05Z")
**Dinsdale** wrote: > [@](#): > > And I like a Freddy King recording I have of “Backdoor Santa.” (“I’m better than old Saint Nick. He don’t come but once a year.”) Which reminds me of **The Doors** ’ recording of “Backdoor Man.” Now you can decide for yourself whether that “backdoor” is literal or figurative. In old blues songs, a “backdoor man” was a guy messing around with married women. Seems like Jim Morrison might have had a little more than that on his mind when he sang the song. “The men don’t know what the little girl understands…” ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/30 "2000-10-16T18:07:46Z")
Oh for the love of pete, how about Zepplin? _Hey, Hey what can I say? I gotta woman want’s to ball all day!_ And that’s just for starters. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/31 "2000-10-16T21:42:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mattk \* > > Worst of all - All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You by Heart. Not only a bloody awful song, but the lyrics are brain-bleedingly awful metaphors for sex (“We walked in the garden, we planted a tree”). I don’t care how explicit it is, it should be banned for the sake of sanity. \*\* Oh, yes, that is indeed one of the worst songs ever. The worst thing is, my friends and I used to try to analyze the lyrics in junior high art class. What was up with those lyrics, anyway? What did “He saw his own eyes?” mean? We had this whole convoluted explanation, that that meant that he saw her again walking around with her kid (which was also his kid, obviously) and that she had slept with him because the man with whom she was actually in love was unable to get her pregnant. But, hello? Hasn’t she heard of a sperm bank? I’m surprised that the radio wasn’t banned in our class over that song. One of my junior high friends was not allowed to listen to the radio at home because of one of Milli Vanilli’s songs. I can’t remember which one. I assume that her mother didn’t know that the art teacher played the radio in class (she wasn’t in the same art class as me, though.) ---
**Author:** ![Malarky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Malarky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malarky)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/32 "2000-10-17T00:39:43Z")
“Big Man w/a Gun” by NIN…it’s about guns and erections…sample lyrics: _I am a big man yes I am And I have a big gun Got me a big old dick and I I like to have fun Held against your forehead I’ll make you suck it Maybe I’ll put a hole in your head Just for the fuck of it… …(shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot) I’m gunna come all over you_ And so on. Not exactly subtle, but when you hear it at 13 years old (my age when Downward Spiral came out) you get kinda confused ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/33 "2000-10-17T02:23:49Z")
Malarky wrote: > [@](#): > > “Big Man w/a Gun” by NIN…it’s about guns and erections Now that I think about it, the very band name “Guns n’ Roses” sounds like it could be euphemisms for the male and female genitalia. ---
**Author:** ![G.Nome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c89c15/32.png) [@G.Nome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Nome)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/34 "2000-10-17T23:58:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Feynn \* > \*\* > I am shocked to discover how many of us have been listening to pornographic lyrics, we should be ashamed of ourselves. > > Pat Boone anyone? \*\* Pat Boone? I don’t think so. When Pat sang “A wonderful time up there” and “Don’t forbid me” what do you think he meant? Guidance from Jagger and Richards was what he always needed, to keep him decent. ---
**Author:** ![bovary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@bovary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bovary)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/35 "2000-10-18T00:42:33Z")
I was a backstroke lover always hidin under the covers til a talk to the daddy he said he said you ain’t seen nothin til your down on a muffin and you’re sure to be changin your ways or something like that ---
**Author:** ![Malarky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Malarky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malarky)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/36 "2000-10-18T22:00:00Z")
Backstroak lover always hidin 'neath the covers Till you talk to your daddy he say Said you ain’t seen nuthin till you’re down on the muffin and you’re sure to be changin ways That cheerleader was a real young bleeder All the times I could reminice Cause the best is lovin With a sister and a cousin Always started with a little kiss LIKE THIS ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/37 "2000-10-19T05:36:21Z")
In the song “Come Softly to Me”, by the Fleetwoods, they **never** sing the “to me” part, but “Come softly, darling”. It has the best doo-wop base ever, sounding like the guy coasting to a climax. Pat Boone does heavy metal now. ---
**Author:** ![G.Nome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c89c15/32.png) [@G.Nome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Nome)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/38 "2000-10-19T08:08:40Z")
An example of lewd lyrics from a singer with a really non-lewd reputation would be excellent. But since you’ve been so kind to contribute what you have, I’ll add this: Now you were the Red Sea I was Moses I kissed you and slipped into a bed of roses The waters parted and love rushed inside I was Jesus’ son sanctified Does this come from: (a) The Hite Report on Males (b) The Bible, the sequel © Bruce Springsteen’s Leap of Faith It comes from ©. He started his career singing about naked nuns running through the vatican. He’s not hypocritical enough for my purposes. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/39 "2000-10-19T17:17:29Z")
How could anyone mention masturbation without bringing up _Blister in the Sun_, a Violent Femmes classic. But Zeppelin is perfect. They have a solid reputation, and many of their blues lyrics are just unbelievable. “I want you to squeeze me lemon, til the juice runs down my leg.” Not to mention the sheer misogyny of so many of their songs, namely Living Loving Maid, Heartbreaker, Hot Dog, etc. “Alimony, alimony, paying your bills!” MR ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992/40 "2000-10-19T17:52:52Z")
How do I get myself back to/ The place where I fell asleep inside you/ How do I get back to/ The place where you said . . . ??? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-mommys-favorite-pornographic-song/36992.md?page=3)