# your most offensive or disarming t-shirt? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 11, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327 "2004-08-11T06:34:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/61 "2004-08-11T21:09:48Z")
I have a shirt from the Green Lantern Brothel in Ely Nevada. On the front is a picture depicting the Nevada Open Road Race, on the back in a siloute of a latern with a very curvy woman in it. Below that it says: You’ve tried the rest, now try the best" My wife hates that shirt. She also hates my Slipery Dick’s in and out lube service shirt. I Can’t figure out why. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/62 "2004-08-11T21:23:13Z")
I bought one that says, “Anna Nicole ate my little brother,” but I decided it was way too tacky to actually wear. ---
**Author:** ![Anduin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Anduin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anduin)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/63 "2004-08-11T21:39:01Z")
Okay, I know we’re only supposed to post about tshirts we own, but the only time I saw this one I was 15, and knew my parents would slaughter me if I bought it. It said “F\*ck Censorship” inside a parental advisory explicit lyrics logo. I still regret not buying it!!! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/64 "2004-08-11T21:42:44Z")
I’ve got several that I’m fond of, one says: “Bush went to Iraq to look for weapons of mass destruction, and all he found was this lousy T-Shirt.” The other, from Chicago’s famous [Alley](http://www.altshopcomplex.com/cgi-bin/index.cfm?category_index=94) store, that says " FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK." The funniest one I’ve seen was on a VERY gay acquaintance of mine and Mrs. Jockey written in the same font as is on the lucky charms box, that said “magically delicious” Ironically, the most offensive one I’ve ever seen was “AIDS: Kills Fags Dead” ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/65 "2004-08-11T21:49:42Z")
I bought a shirt at Target a month or so ago that had a picture of a donkey on it, and above it was the word “SMART”. Then last week they had a t-shirt that said “between boyfriends” that I almost bought. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/66 "2004-08-11T21:58:41Z")
> [@OtakuLoki](#): > > “Hentai Philosophy.” > > I got called on wearing it at a family buffet resturaunt by an oriental family. They just wanted to make sure I knew what it said. It’s been a LONG time since I’d blushed like that. 😃 There’s a Japanese restaurant in Montreal that’s _called_ Hentai. I swear to Gods. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/67 "2004-08-11T22:02:18Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > There’s a Japanese restaurant in Montreal that’s _called_ Hentai. I swear to Gods. Sounds like a great site for a Dopefest. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/68 "2004-08-11T22:03:43Z")
Also, I saw a gorgeous guy in the village the other day wearing a T-shirt that said “TALK NERDY TO ME.” Should have taken him up on it. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/69 "2004-08-11T22:11:07Z")
My favorite is one my (female) friend wears around all the time: MY OTHER RIDE IS YOUR MOM ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/70 "2004-08-11T22:11:45Z")
I am in awe at all your t-shirts. The only t-shirts I wear currently with writing on them are school-spirit-type shirts, but I’m sure that they offend somebody. I have seen many that I would like to buy, but I am too wussy to wear any of them. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/71 "2004-08-11T22:31:15Z")
The one I own that I haven’t been able to wear in the 17 years since I became a teacher, but that I found in the closet the other day, is the one that says _Hey little girl! Wanna piece of candy?_ ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/72 "2004-08-11T23:09:04Z")
I used to have a ton of these kind of shirts when I was younger, but now I can’t seem to remember too many of them… The one that got the most attention said on it- “Christianity is f\*cking stupid” Another popular one was one of the shot of the Pope waiving with a joint drawn into his hand that said- “I like the Pope 'cause the Pope smokes dope!” I am wearing one right now that isn’t really offensive but people always ask about it- “Ravers Suck” > [@](#): > > Also, I saw a gorgeous guy in the village the other day wearing a T-shirt that said “TALK NERDY TO ME.” My g/f has that one, plus an- “I {heart} NERDS” ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/73 "2004-08-11T23:34:19Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Also, I saw a gorgeous guy in the village the other day wearing a T-shirt that said “TALK NERDY TO ME.” > > Should have taken him up on it. My g/f bought me that shirt for Valentine’s Day this year. I dig it a lot. One shirt that I own I bought as a counter to all the people who want to walk around a college campus and peddle their bibles and cults on me. People either love it or hate it. The best is when people love it and genuinely have no idea that the shirt is designed to piss them off. It’s a white shirt with a big, red heart on the front. In white lettering on the heart it says, “I’ve Got A Heart On For Jesus!” The back says, “Get your ass to church!” Love it. Another shirt I really dig is the logo from another website, “The Internet Makes You Stupid.” So true. ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/74 "2004-08-11T23:51:31Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > The most offensive T-shirt that I have ever seen was worn by a sleazy guy on a beach in Maine. It had a picture of the Twix cereal Rabbit on it. Over the rabbit it read, “Silly Faggot, Dix are for Chix”. I cannot believe that someone would actually wear that in public. In addition, I just googled the phrase and there still some places that sell them. I knew guys who used to wear those in high school. In the school. During classes. In retrospect, I can’t believe they never got in trouble for it. The worst I own is an orange shirt, probably vintage, with a drawing of a game bird on it. The text underneath says “Michigan: Big Cock Country.” But I didn’t buy it for myself - I bought it as a costume piece for a project that hasn’t gotten done yet - so I’ve never worn it. It’s a beautiful shirt, though. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/75 "2004-08-12T00:26:37Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > I also have a really old comic book T-shirt, with a group picture of the superhero team Gen 13, with art by J. Scott Campbell (known for drawing sexy women). One of the female characters, Caitlyn Fairchild, is looking over her shoulder, wearing a thong, so there’s plenty of cartoon babe butt-cleavage on my T-shirt. I used to wear this when I’d work out or go to band practice, but I’ve never felt comfortable wearing it out in public. 😃 My brother has that shirt. He used to wear it to work, to his college classes, to the mall, to the comic shop, etc. It’s also been the source of many “Image pose!” jokes in my family. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/76 "2004-08-12T00:53:42Z")
> [@P\_T\_](#): > > Nothing particularly offensive here, but I saw one at the local fair a couple weeks ago. “I FUCK SHEEP” quite hilarious as we have a very large sheep exhibition hall at the fair I have a friend who wears his “I fuck Sheep” t-shirt to fencing practice all the time. Is some SCA household thing I think. was this by chance at a renfair? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/77 "2004-08-12T00:55:33Z")
I forgot that I have a t-shirt that says “Practice Safe Sex. Go F\*ck Yourself”. I rarely have the guts to wear it. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/78 "2004-08-12T00:56:25Z")
I used to have a Primus shirt that said YOU SUCK! in foot-high letters on the back. An old math teacher of mine detested anyone’s use of the word suck, as in “this homework sucks”. I used to walk behind her to sharpen my pencil with my back to the class. She finally caught me and said “somebody give him a jacket to put over that” after which I was buried by a dozen flying jackets and applause. I also had a shirt that said “Thank you for not projectile vomiting.” and had a stick figure diagram with a line through it. For some reason this shirt really offended my friend’s grandfather. ---
**Author:** ![Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilvert_s_Pagan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/79 "2004-08-12T01:15:44Z")
I’ve had several over the years, including the George Carlin “Simon Says Go Fuck Yourself” one mentioned above. A shirt which must be a collector’s item now (or a pirated fraud) is a B. Kliban drawing of six dumpy men, all in suits and matching hats, crawling on all fours, each with his nose firmly planted in the ass of the next guy up in line. Caption: “Business on Parade”. I can find not a trace of this anywhere on the web, wihch really surprises me. Others: A toursity-one from South Dakota: [near as I can tell, we’re somewhere behind Mt Rushmore](http://www.livefortheparty.com/fp/fp-34.htm) King Crimson’s first album has rather [arresting artwork](http://www.tralfaz-archives.com/coverart/K/king_crimson_court.html) , although there is no slogan. I have this as a shirt, and it gets a lot of double takes. I had to stop wearing it for a while, though, because it gave my young daughter nightmares about “The Face!” ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/80 "2004-08-12T02:08:30Z")
I just have one ‘slogan’ t-shirt left - I’m a Buddhist, so, when I saw it, I just had to buy it. It has a row of little orange-robed Buddhist monks sitting meditating on it - and underneath it says **BUDDHIST 'N BAD** I wore it a few times to Buddhist study courses, and some people actually admired it until I pointed out that the little monk at the end of the row is surreptitiously masturbating. Funny how quickly people can go from ‘Where did you buy that?’ to ‘Oh, that’s disgusting’. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327.md?page=5)