# your most offensive or disarming t-shirt? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 11, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327 "2004-08-11T06:34:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![a\_daft\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@a\_daft\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a_daft_girl)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/101 "2004-08-12T18:13:16Z")
> [@Gulo gulo](#): > > I would love to find the Chemlab “Fuck Art Let’s Kill” shirt. I miss it dearly and have no idea what happened to mine. . In November of 2003 these shirts were re-issued (at least according to the source i just found) and i don’t know that the design is the same, but you can purchase one [here](http://www.hydrogenbar.com/merch.html) ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/102 "2004-08-12T19:04:54Z")
I went to Haverford College, whose sister school is Bryn Mawr college, which is all-girls. I have a T-shirt which says “Bryn Mawr College - 117 years of women coming together”. ---
**Author:** ![Gulo\_gulo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@Gulo\_gulo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gulo_gulo)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/103 "2004-08-12T20:39:35Z")
> [@a daft girl](#): > > In November of 2003 these shirts were re-issued (at least according to the source i just found) and i don’t know that the design is the same, but you can purchase one [here](http://www.hydrogenbar.com/merch.html) Yay! It’s not the same design but it may have to do. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/104 "2004-08-12T20:51:41Z")
“Everyone knows that Satan would kick the fuck out of Christ in a fair fight. Make sure that you’re backing the right guy come Judgement Day” ---
**Author:** ![a\_daft\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@a\_daft\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a_daft_girl)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/105 "2004-08-12T21:05:29Z")
> [@Bill H.](#): > > “Everyone knows that Satan would kick the fuck out of Christ in a fair fight. Make sure that you’re backing the right guy come Judgement Day” Hahahahaha _snort_cackle_wheeze_ ohhhhh, my liver. (by the way, im laughing AT your shirt, not WITH it) :wally i’d like to see someone actually wearing that - i haven’t been privvie to laughing that hard in a random strangers face in such a long time. hooooo. reminds me of seeing “Satin Lover” spray painted on a picnic table in Fort Myers once. just can’t help but laugh at the absurdity. thank you sir, for infusing my day with deeply rooted chuckle tree tea leaves - _sip_ mmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/106 "2004-08-12T22:44:52Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Who’s Ed Gein?? [Was _The Texas Chain Saw Massacre_ based on a true story?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_253.html) ---
**Author:** ![Lambo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lambo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lambo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/107 "2004-08-13T01:01:11Z")
I went to school at the University of Minnesota, Morris (a small campus located 2-3 hours from the Twin Cities). Not a whole lot to do for those from larger, more urban areas (I, however, got along fine). Well, being west of the Mississippi, our radio station started call letter started with a K, hence KUMM. I have a few shirts, and bumper stickers as well: The all time classic that keeps getting remade is the first one on this [site.](http://www.kumm.org/index.php?module=ContentExpress&func=display&ceid=14) Another one (that my wife won’t let me wear outside) has ‘My mom listened to KUMM, and all I got was this stupid tshirt’ written on the front, and the back has a 40’s/50’s vintage-looking drawing of a housewife, smiling, with a single large sperm cell in her hand, with the tail wrapped around her arm. ---
**Author:** ![Cherry2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cherry2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry2000)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/108 "2004-08-13T01:36:13Z")
Tee hee…I just remembered one a friend of mine had. It was a picture of Joan Crawford, cigarette and all… it said, “I never laid a hand on those f\*cking kids” He got it for 25 cents at a thrift store. ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/109 "2004-08-13T02:37:18Z")
> [@Lambo](#): > > I went to school at the University of Minnesota, Morris (a small campus located 2-3 hours from the Twin Cities). Not a whole lot to do for those from larger, more urban areas (I, however, got along fine). Well, being west of the Mississippi, our radio station started call letter started with a K, hence KUMM. I have a few shirts, and bumper stickers as well: The all time classic that keeps getting remade is the first one on this [site.](http://www.kumm.org/index.php?module=ContentExpress&func=display&ceid=14) Another one (that my wife won’t let me wear outside) has ‘My mom listened to KUMM, and all I got was this stupid tshirt’ written on the front, and the back has a 40’s/50’s vintage-looking drawing of a housewife, smiling, with a single large sperm cell in her hand, with the tail wrapped around her arm. In the SF Bay Area we used to have KOME. “Don’t touch that dial…there’s KOME on it!” ---
**Author:** ![IHaveARottweiler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19b73/32.png) [@IHaveARottweiler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IHaveARottweiler)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/110 "2004-08-13T04:46:19Z")
I have two shirts that I wear the most: A red one that has a little monkey on the front giggling with ‘CHEEKY’ written beneath it and on the back it has the monkey wiggling its derriere with a little post-it saying “Kiss my” above its tail taped to its back. The other one is black with “I wanna be Barbie, the bitch has everything” written on the front. I got it for $11 from a place calles Krazee Tees in the city. It has all these great shirts. I’m not allowed to wear my barbie shirt to family lunches because my posh English Grandma is there. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/111 "2004-08-13T14:08:39Z")
I have another offensive one, that to my horror I only realised I was wearing halfway through a mortgage consultation the other day. It has the famous British WWI recruitment image of [Lord Kitchener](http://www.st-columbas.bexley.sch.uk/site/departments/history/kitchener.gif), except where the original said ‘wants you’’, it instead says: **YOU TWAT** ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/112 "2004-08-17T21:52:03Z")
[These](http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A19981-2001Aug1?language=printer) are fun too. My favs are: “Places to Go, People to Annoy” “Of Course I Don’t Look Busy – I Did It Right the First Time” “Heck Is Where People Go Who Don’t Believe in Gosh” “Guys Have Feelings, Too. But Like, Who Cares?” “Our Lady of Perpetual Mood Swings” ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/113 "2004-08-17T23:16:16Z")
> [@paulberserker](#): > > A red one that had this on the front > A B C > D E F > U C K > I loved that one. Hey, I had one of those! I’ve never seen another one. “Mushroom Mania Inc” patch on a workshirt (Mojo Nixon concert shirt) has gotten many, many comments. Best was from an aunt-in-law, with whom I had a several-minutes-long conversation about the yumminess of mushrooms. Pretty sure she had no clue, but it certainly threw me for a loop when she first said something. “God used to be my copilot, but we got lost in the Andes and I had to eat him.” I’m somewhat careful where I wear that - something like that can get you hurt around these parts. What I always called my Mongolian ClusterFuck Shirt - had a big chest-piece with what resembled one of those single-line drawings. IIRC, it wasn’t actually one of those, just many little pictures jammed together of people/pigs/dogs/whatever in various combinations. That one was funny because very few people realized what was on it; those who did had usually seen it several times before they caught on. The only guy who got it right away was the Baptist minister who stopped by one day to talk us into going to his church (across the street from the house we’d just rented). He ran, ran, ran away. “Death before Prep” was one I had made when I started college (which should date me fairly well). The frightening part is that I know a teenager who says she needs to borrow it for school, if I can find it. I know I’ve had others, but that’s all I can think of offhand. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/114 "2004-08-17T23:40:59Z")
I have two that I love but seldom wear. The first is black and it simply says “Poker” on the front. On the back, it says “Liquor.” (Old joke, I know…) The second one is far more offensive, and it simply says, front and back: “fuck-the-skull-of-jesus.mit.edu” Which I can’t rightly even link to, here. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/115 "2004-08-18T00:04:44Z")
[Probably this one.](http://www.cafepress.com/ghastly_peep1.3069156) It’s a lot of fun to try and explain. ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/116 "2004-08-18T00:34:02Z")
About the only shirt I have (so far) that gets me looks is a [black t-shirt with RECRUITER written out in rainbow stripes across the front](http://www.hottopic.com/Assets/product_images/zm/299323_zm.jpg). I enjoy it. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/117 "2004-08-18T01:33:53Z")
Oh, I forgot my most disarming tee-shirt!! It’s bright yellow and has the word **SECURITY** written across both front and back in big 216-point font. I wear it at events where people don’t really take security all too seriously, like book signings and game conventions, for two reasons: A) I won’t have the secret service hauling my ass off to Gitmo, and B) They probably need a more visible security presence anyway. It works great… gets me to the front of lines and through controlled access every time. (It helps that I’m built like a bouncer, too.) One time I was strolling thru the LAX Westin at a Gamex convention, and saw this teen farting around with one of the water fountains. He saw me, and stopped what he was doing, looked guilty for a sec, and then walked away pretending to be nonchalant… Har! No one has _ever_ stopped me and asked me for credentials… the event people all think I work for the venue, and the venue people all think I work for the event! 🆒 Besides, if they ever stopped me at a game convention, I’d say “It’s OK. I’m [Lawful Neutral](http://www.geocities.com/vacred_dotal/lawneut.htm).” ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/118 "2004-08-18T02:38:00Z")
I have…actually, i’m wearing right now…a Tiger Lillies tee shirt. They’re a band. This particular band tee shirt involves a blow-up doll cruxified of a cross. Not that I could imagine anyone finding that offensive :). My less offensive ones would be the “University of Perversity” one, “Religious Sex”, and the Mar Bar tee shirt with the dead rat on it. ---
**Author:** ![jweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jweb)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/119 "2004-08-18T03:36:41Z")
There’s a couple of colleges in Iowa whose mascots are the Peacocks (Upper Iowa University) and the Beavers (Buena Vista). Occasionally they become Homecoming opponents. As you can imagine, this spawns a whole body of offensive t-shirts. I think the best one I ever saw was one that said: “Who needs a crusty old beaver? Go Cocks!” A former football teammate used to wear a shirt to practice that said “Fuck you, I’ve got enough friends” ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327/120 "2004-08-18T03:53:24Z")
Mine isn’t offensive, but it certainly does get a lot of second looks. [Rejected](http://www.animationshow.com/images/shop/shirts/rejectedsimpledesign.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-offensive-or-disarming-t-shirt/259327.md?page=7)