# Your most shameful culinary practices

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Tags:** food-cooking\
**Created:** [March 23, 2021, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498 "2021-03-23T15:42:29Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/61 "2021-03-24T00:15:17Z")

</div>

Hmmm. Well, I’ll also confess on using MSG - either to liven up a dish I’m making or more commonly, to salvage something I bought at the store which sounded good, but didn’t live up to it’s promise.

My most shameful secret is that I buy the pre-cooked bacon crumbles from Costco in the 1.25 lb bag. Anytime I need to add a little extra salt/fat/smoke to a dish it’s an easy fix, or if I’m making a quickie omelet, topping a dish, etc. It’s so easy to spruce something up or make it look fancy when you’re plating. It’s a crutch. Granted at least I’m not using Bac-Os or the equivalent, but I’m sure someone here has that as a dirty little secret.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/62 "2021-03-24T01:00:41Z")

</div>

> [@iiandyiiii](#):
>
> In college and as a Navy bachelor I was much, much worse than I am now. Frozen burritos and cold cereal were everyday staples.

OK, I guess this calls for my admission to the Wall of Shame. I see nothing necessarily wrong with frozen burritos, but my excuse is that I’m in Canada which is, like, really really far from Mexico. In fact my burritos of choice are the ones the store brands as “No Name”, generally meaning a distinctly lower quality than their store-branded “President’s Choice” items. I don’t care. I always anoint them with Desert Pepper brand corn, black bean, and red pepper salsa (from Texas) and they’re great!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/63 "2021-03-24T01:11:59Z")

</div>

I buy cheese ends. It’s a great way to get an assortment of cheese without waiting for your deli ‘Now Serving’ number and usually lower in cost to boot. I’ve had less luck with meat ends and usually skip those.

Nothing wrong with MSG. I prefer the Knorr powder to cubes though [these cilantro cubes](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Knorr-Savoury-Sauce-Cilantro-20-ct/10898605) are good. Similarly, the [Goya Sazon packets](https://www.goya.com/en/products/sazon-with-coriander-and-annatto) are also pretty good.

I keep cheap ramen and Chef Boy-R-Dee (specifically the lasagna) for when I’m not feeling well.

> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#):
>
> Wait, is that not bad enough? Okay: I wait until everyone’s left the kitchen, then I drink the broth from the tuna can instead of draining it down the sink.

I do that, too. I also drink the water from no salt added canned veggies. And the broth from canned chicken is like the best soup you’ve ever had.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/64 "2021-03-24T01:20:45Z")

</div>

An addition, that is truly, truly shameful, but didn’t cross my mind because I was thinking ‘cooking’ not ‘baking’. I have, sadly, frequently used cream cheese frosting from a can rather than homemade. Which is a dirty shame because making it on your own is fast, easy and simple, and better on every possible front from taste to ‘dear god I read the label and now I can’t stop crying’ … and did I mention it’s super easy to make especially if you have a stand mixer.

But I rarely bake cupcakes or the like, and it’s normally for someone else, so I excuse the horror for the speed and cost savings over homemade. But I always know I should be a better person.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/65 "2021-03-24T01:23:15Z")

</div>

> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#):
>
> Okay: I wait until everyone’s left the kitchen, then I drink the broth from the tuna can instead of draining it down the sink.

Wait, are you a cat? The only shame in that is that tuna broth is not all that great, except to fur-bearing felines. I have been known, however, when not being observed, to drink the remains of the soy sauce after finishing sushi, or the remains of a particularly flavourful chicken gravy. My excuse is that both are heavily sodium-laden, and since I’m supposed to go easy on salt, I get to be bad when no one is looking.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/66 "2021-03-24T01:27:35Z")

</div>

> [@wolfpup](#):
>
> I see nothing necessarily wrong with frozen burritos

It depends on whether you thaw them first…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/67 "2021-03-24T01:32:18Z")

</div>

I’ve bought the frozen burritos (or wraps) a few times. They’re designed to be microwaved, but I found they heated unevenly, so part is really hot while another bit is almost still frozen. (They were not bad on a nutritional basis.)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/68 "2021-03-24T02:54:45Z")

</div>

> [@kenobi\_65](#):
>
> I will occasionally make myself what I call “white trash turkey dinner”:
> 
> - A pack of sliced turkey breast lunchmeat
> - A box of Stove Top stuffing
> - A jar of turkey gravy

That sounds pretty damn good! Tip o’me hat to ya, good sir (except I don’t wear hats) I shall have to remember this one.

> [@DCnDC](#):
>
> Sometimes I don’t feel like even putting dirty plates in the sink so I’ll just stick them in the fridge until morning.

Well, lah-dee-dah. Aren’t we fancy.

If I’m being that lazy - and I frequently am - they just sit on the counter, as the gods intended.

> [@silenus](#):
>
> Liquid yolk is Evil.

This statement confuses and distresses me.

> [@teelabrown](#):
>
> The hell with lean hamburger. It tastes like dry ground-up cork. I started buying the fattier stuff at Costco

Ain’t nuthin’ shameful about that.

> [@Treppenwitz](#):
>
> I have also worked out how to do cheese on toast in a microwave. For those days when grilling something is too much like hard work.

Please share your secret, oh wise and lazy one? For I, too, have days when even making a friggin’ grilled cheese sandwich is just { _strikes pose of woe_ } I can’t even with that.

> [@QuickSilver](#):
>
> I’ll **zhuzh** them up a bit

You what in the what now?

Never mind. It’s a great word. Just never seen it before.

> [@Cheesesteak](#):
>
> The bachelor trick is… line a pie plate with foil, assemble the nachos, bake in the oven until it’s melty and hot, transfer the foil to a dinner plate,

The simpler method is to buy the disposable pie pans, preferably the shitty ones at the dollar store that are, like, three per buck.

> [@sitchensis](#):
>
> I love peanut butter, lettuce and mayo sandwiches.

Concur with previous that this is the first post that made me do the “record scratch” mentally. I still can’t wrap my head around this.

> [@ParallelLines](#):
>
> My most shameful secret is that I buy the pre-cooked bacon crumbles

When I worked an office job, I bought the little bags of these, and kept them in a drawer as work snacks. Nice little protein hit.

> [@kitap](#):
>
> I think store bought chocolate frosting on graham crackers is a fine snack/dessert.

The O.P. is asking us to share dirty, shameful secrets, and I’m over here taking notes. Between this dessert recipe, and the white trash turkey dinner, I got a solid dinner worked out for tomorrow.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/69 "2021-03-24T03:02:11Z")

</div>

> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> You what in the what now?
> 
> Never mind. It’s a great word. Just never seen it before.

I first learned the word “zhush/zoosh” while watching \*Queer Eye For the Straight Guy." They zhushed up their subjects’ hair and clothing frequently. 😃

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/70 "2021-03-24T03:09:45Z")

</div>

My version of this is the classic “Diner Hot Turkey Sandwich.” The same sliced turkey meat heaped on a slice or two of white bread, smothered in canned gravy, and served with a scoop of mashed potatoes and peas or green beans. All heated in the microwave.

I do the same classic “Hot” sandwich with sliced roast beef and canned beef gravy. Sometimes I’ll use the variety with mushroom bits in it. Takes me back to road trips with my dad when I was a kid.

Has anybody mentioned the classic Depression dishes “Hamburger Hot Dish” and “Tuna Casserole” yet? Both are made with cans of Campbell’s soup. 🥰

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/71 "2021-03-24T03:14:23Z")

</div>

> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> If I’m being that lazy - and I frequently am - they just sit on the counter, as the gods intended.

Nah, they’re supposed to go on the floor so the kitties can lick them. Sort of a pre-rinse for the dishwasher, dontchaknow?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/72 "2021-03-24T03:14:54Z")

</div>

> [@jnglmassiv](#):
>
> I buy cheese ends. It’s a great way to get an assortment of cheese without waiting for your deli ‘Now Serving’ number and usually lower in cost to boot.

The best part of Munster is the rind. Sometimes it’s too salty, but I pick up a butt for snacking cheese every trip to the grocery store.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/73 "2021-03-24T03:18:14Z")

</div>

Speaking of Depression food (as in the economic upheaval, not the emotional state), 91-year-old Clara has some good recipes:

[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/p-GVl7scrYE/maxresdefault.jpg "Great Depression Cooking - The Poorman's Meal - Higher Resolution") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-GVl7scrYE)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/74 "2021-03-24T03:18:44Z")

</div>

Definitely not cooking of any sort but every now and again, and if the ingredients are in the house, but I’ll make Bachelor Sandwiches.  
Two slices white wonder bread. That marshmallowy, zero taste, fluffy, white bread  
Spread one side liberally with Cheez Whiz, the other with equal parts Mayo and mustard.  
Interleave bologna slices and ripple potato chips, two layers each.  
Mush together, drink with a Coke.  
Diet anything is not even to be considered. Rum or rye in the drink, maybe.

I ALWAYS put ketchup or salsa on mac and cheese, including SWMBO’s to die for three cheese scratch bechamel based cheese sauce.

Beans in chili, and avocado on burgers are fine things indeed.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/75 "2021-03-24T03:32:38Z")

</div>

My go-to for an easy dinner is burritos of ground beef with foil packet taco spice, mixed with canned refried beans, and lots of shredded cheddar.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/76 "2021-03-24T03:35:06Z")

</div>

Bachelor spaghetti deserves a mention. Add a can of diced, or stewed, tomatoes to a pot of pasta. Toss on some garlic and Italian seasoning, a little salt and white pepper, then heat up. Top with parmesan, and you’ve got a reasonable approximation of a marinara sauce. Good enough for a couple of twenty-something yahoos to whom Olive Garden was fine Italian dining, anyway.

Ketchup on my mac n’ cheese, pineapple on my pizza, and Kraft American cheese singles on my grilled cheese sandwiches.

My standard lunch at work - especially on days I’ll be running - is a can of Kroger no-salt black beans, heated for 3:30 minutes in the microwave, then topped with adobo. Occasionally I’ll throw in grilled chicken breast or broccoli.

I don’t eat sandwiches very often these days, but when I do, they’re often mayonnaise and banana or peanut butter and banana. Elvis was no fool.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SacFly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SacFly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SacFly)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/77 "2021-03-24T04:04:59Z")

</div>

No shame in box wine these days. If you’re buying wine in the sub 12$/bottle range, you’re better off getting a bota box or black box. It’s the same juice at half the price, assuming you’ll go through 4 bottles worth in a week or so.

I don’t know if I should be ashamed or not, but a can of rotel mixed with melted velveeta is pretty tasty with tortilla chips.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/78 "2021-03-24T04:11:20Z")

</div>

I steam my vegetables in the microwave before roasting them.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/79 "2021-03-24T04:17:02Z")

</div>

> [@ParallelLines](#):
>
> My most shameful secret is that I buy the pre-cooked bacon crumbles from Costco in the 1.25 lb bag.

I have a part-bag in my fridge. It’s actual bacon, I fail to see a problem here.

MSG is not an uncommon addition to savory dishes around my place.

I’ve done things like a bowl of Count Chocula for dinner (yes, even at 51, I still like the Monster Cereals)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/80 "2021-03-24T04:34:09Z")

</div>

> [@SacFly](#):
>
> I don’t know if I should be ashamed or not, but a can of rotel mixed with melted velveeta is pretty tasty with tortilla chips.

Oh my, I see no reason to be ashamed there. I think it’s the special purpose both ingredients were invented for. They combine to make pure heaven, and I’ll totally fight anyone who says different.

On the other hand, my shameful culinary practice is to use Mexican Style Velveeta to make my nachos. I know how to do it right with cheddar, but sometimes I just want the cheap+easy microwave nachos.

> [@Seanette](#):
>
> I’ve done things like a bowl of Count Chocula for dinner (yes, even at 51, I still like the Monster Cereals)

Heheeh, I’ve got a half eaten family size box of Count Chocula becoming partially stale cocoa-y goodness as we speak. I’ll finish it by the end of May, I swear.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498.md?page=3)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498.md?page=5)
